Celeste & Jesse Forever

Lily Allen — Littlest Things

& Jesse: Ow! Wanna go titty for titty? My arms are longer. My boobs are smaller.

& Celeste: American culture is dying, and there’s an unrelenting appetite in this country for reality shows, talentless pop stars like Riley Banks, recycled, bloated movie franchises. The more we consume crap, the more we want crap. You are what you eat.

& Skillz: The economic climate is real bad, man. I think my business is taking the hardest hit of all. It’s brutal. Is it just me or is nobody talking about it?
    Jesse: You sell weed, Skillz.
    Skillz: Not for long, dude. You seen those weed pharmacies on every fucking corner? They’re killing me. I mean, I think I gotta branch out, start working in methamphetamines. Or teach preschool, you know? I love kids, and I just, I don’t know, always wanted to do that.

& Skillz: So, what do you want, man?
    Jesse: Maybe I just don’t wanna start over...
    Skillz: No, I meant, like, what do you want? Do you want yogurt?
    Jesse: Can I have a goji-berry-and-green-tea swirl with yogurt chips and Cap’n Crunch?

& Jesse: Hey. What are you doing?
    Celeste: I love you.
    Jesse: Okay.

& Celeste: I’m a trend forecaster. I forecast trends.
    Paul: Trend forecaster. Yeah... You serious?! I thought you were fucking with me.
    Celeste: ... You traded in your Porsche for an Audi because you’re afraid you’ll lose your job. You bought a Droid because it makes you seem business-oriented unlike the iPhone, for teenage girls. You go to yoga because you went to a sub-Ivy League school. You spent the last 10 years working long hours. You thought it was time to do something spiritual. It was nice to meet you, Paul.

& Celeste: She’s dumb, right?
    Beth: No, she’s not dumb. She’s, um... She’s simple.
    Celeste: Simple means dumb, though.
    Beth: No, actually. Simple in a really elegant way.

& Celeste: Can I get some coffee, please?
    Waitress: We have Yerba Mate.
    Celeste: Oh. Um... Green tea?
    Waitress: We have decaf green tea.
    Celeste: I’ll just get some water.

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& Celeste: It’s only weird if you think it’s weird.

& Celeste: People will let you down. I have accepted that fact. But knowing that, makes it impossible to be happy. But at least it’s fucking real.

& Jesse: I just realized I don’t know your middle name.
    Veronica: Um... It’s, um, Godelieve.
    Jesse: Goldleaf?
    Veronica: No, Godelieve. It means “beloved by the gods.” It’s Dutch.
    Jesse: Pretty.
    Veronica: Thanks. What’s yours?
    Jesse: ... Mordechai.
    Veronica: Okay. What does it mean?
    Jesse: It means I’m very, very Jewish.
    Veronica: Right.

& Riley: Do you know what your problem is?.. Contempt prior to investigation.
    Celeste: I’m sorry?
    Riley: You think you’re smarter than everybody, and that is your dark little prison.

& Jesse: Can’t believe I’m having a baby and it’s not with you.

& Scott: There’s a penis, and there’s the penis going into the butt.
    Celeste: Oh... Oh, my God. Oh, my God, it’s a cock- it’s a cock... It’s a cock in a butt. Oh, my Go... Oh, my God. That’s really bad.
    Scott: This isn’t a joke, Celeste. There’s homosexual butt sex in the logo.

& Skillz: When we’re no longer able to change a situation, we’re challenged to change ourselves.
    Celeste: Huh? Hmm.
    Skillz: Viktor Frankl. Or Biggie Smalls. It might be Biggie Smalls. I don’t know. I don’t remember.

& Riley: It really never gets better? Like, not even when you’re old?
    Celeste: ..... No.

& Celeste: Beth and Tucker, you guys are lucky, so lucky to be best friends. Work hard at that. And respect that. Um... Be patient. And, uh... you don’t always have to be right. Even if you are, doesn’t fucking matter anyway. Fight for it every day. I wish I had... Cheers.

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