The Last Weekend

Inside No. 9 (8×6)

Chas: It's like a brie farted.

Joe: ... it's been nine years...
Chas: No? That's not now, is it?
Joe: Well, it depends where you take it from. You know, first date, first kiss, first... coupling.
Chas: Coupling? We sound like fuckin' Jane Austen characters.

Joe: I told you then that we'd be together for at least nine years, and...

Joe: Copper is the traditional gift. I googled it. Apparently, its beauty and malleability... symbolise the way a couple can bend to accommodate each other after nine years together.

Mollie: Oh, don't be sorry, dear. Anger is one of the five stages.
Chas: Yeah, well, I think it's the one I'm stuck on, like a really hard level on Candy Crush. I can't get past it.
Mollie: Er, I'll, erm, just nod and pretend I know what you're talking about.

Chas: I should be doing this for you.
Joe: No. You deserve it. You really deserve it.

Joe: The ancient Persians developed a form of execution called scaphism. The victim would be taken down to the edge of a lake, tied between two boats and covered in milk and honey. This soon attracted all manner of insects that would bite, feed on the body, lay their eggs under the skin, which in turn attracted rats and other vermin until you were literally... eaten alive. It's said the Persian soldier Mithridates managed to last 17 days.

Joe: Aww, Chas... You're just in denial.

Joe: Do you still want yours heated up?... I think I'm gonna have mine cold.

--
On the IMDb