The Menu (2022)

Margot: We have reached the base camp of mount bullshit. This is insane.

Chef Slowik: Welcome to Hawthorn. I am Julian Slowik, and tonight it'll be our pleasure to feed you.

Chef Slowik: Over the next few hours you will ingest fat, salt, sugar, protein, bacteria, fungi, various plants and animals, and, at times, entire ecosystems. But I have to beg of you one thing. It's just one. Do not eat... Taste. Savor. Relish. Consider every morsel that you place inside your mouth. Be mindful. But do not eat. Our menu is too precious for that... And look around you. Here we are on this island. Accept. Accept all of it. And forgive... And on that note, food!

Chef Slowik: Now, here is what you must remember about this dish. We, the people on this island, are not important. The island and the nutrients it provides exist in their most perfect state without us gathering them or manipulating them, or digesting them. What happens inside this room is meaningless compared to what happens outside in nature, in the soil, in the water, in the air... We are but a frightened nanosecond. Nature is timeless... Enjoy.

Elsa: You will eat less than you desire and more than you deserve.

Chef Slowik: Please eat. The menu only makes sense if you eat.
Margot: But you told us not to eat.
Chef Slowik: That is not what I meant, madam. And you know it.

Chef Slowik: Eat! Enjoy.

Chef Slowik: It's all part of the menu.

Chef Slowik: There's a saying. "Sometimes all you need is a good cup of tea." I learned that growing up in Bratislava. I've found that not only does tea cleanse the palate, but it offers a soothing balm when facing some hard home truths.

Chef Slowik: You belong here with your own breed.
Margot: And what breed is that?
Chef Slowik: With the shit shovelers. You thought I couldn't tell? Oh, I know a fellow service industry worker when I see one.

Chef Slowik: Do you enjoy providing your services?
Margot: Yes. Or I... I used to. Do you enjoy providing yours?
Chef Slowik: Oh, I used to, but I haven't desired to cook for someone in ages. And one does miss that feeling.

Lillian Bloom: Are we all really dying tonight?
Katherine Keller: It doesn't work if you live.
Lillian Bloom: What doesn't work?
Katherine Keller: The menu.
Lillian Bloom: Why not?
Katherine Keller: It needs an ending... That ties everything together conceptually. Otherwise, it just tastes good, and who cares.

Chef Slowik: Swallow first.

Chef Slowik: Mmm. Wow. Wow. It's actually quite... bad. You are why the mystery has been drained from our art.

Chef Slowik: What about my food is not to your liking?
Margot: For starters, you've taken the joy out of eating. Every dish you served tonight has been some intellectual exercise rather than something you want to sit and enjoy. When I eat your food, it tastes like it was made with no love.
Chef Slowik: Oh, this is ridiculous. We always cook with love. Don't we?
— Yes, chef!
Chef Slowik: Everyone knows love is the most important ingredient.
Margot: Then you're kidding yourself.

Margot: You cook with obsession, not love. Even your hot dishes are cold... You're a chef. Your single purpose on this earth is to serve people food that they might actually like, and you have failed. You've failed. And you've bored me. And the worst part is I'm still fucking hungry.

Margot: You know what I'd really like?
Chef Slowik: Tell me.
Margot: A cheeseburger.
Chef Slowik: .... Yeah, we can do a cheeseburger.
Margot: A real cheeseburger. Not some fancy, deconstructed avant bullshit.
Chef Slowik: A real cheeseburger... Well, I'll make you a very good, very traditional cheeseburger.
Margot: I don't think you can.
Chef Slowik: I'll make you feel as if you're eating the first cheeseburger you ever ate. The cheap one your parents could barely afford.
Margot: Show me.
Chef Slowik: How do you like it?
Margot: Medium. American cheese.
Chef Slowik: American cheese is the best cheese for a cheeseburger, because it melts without splitting.
Margot: How much will that set me back?
Chef Slowik: $9.95.
Margot: That come with fries?

Chef Slowik: And now, our final dessert course is a playful twist on a comfort food classic. The s'more. The most offensive assault on the human palate ever contrived. Unethically sourced chocolate and gelatinized sugar water imprisoned by industrial-grade Graham cracker. It's everything wrong with us, and yet we associate it with innocence. With childhood.

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