Koi Pond

The Office 6×8

Michael Scott: Jim is a good kid. He can handle a lot, but sometimes you have to call in a master. Why would you date an amateur when you could date a professional?

Jim Halpert: He's trying to micro-co-manage me. Or... co-micromanage...

Andy Bernard: I date models. Face models. My girlfriend, on a scale of one to Gisele... a nine.

Michael Scott: I'm not usually the butt of the joke. I'm usually the face of the joke.

Michael Scott: The most fundamental thing about sensitivity training is that you cannot make fun of a person for something or some action that they have done that they regret.

Michael Scott: Show of hands. Who here has been Koi-ponded? Who here has been the butt of a joke that has gone too far?
Phyllis Lapin: You make fun of us every day.
Oscar Martinez: Every single day.
Michael Scott: You never said anything.
Angela Martin: We have, countless times.
Michael Scott: It is hard to tell the difference between you guys saying stop because I want you to stop, or stop as in, "Stop! You're making me laugh so hard. What you're doing is so funny. You're on a roll, I am busting a gut. Stop!"

Michael Scott: We are going to make a "do... not... mock" list, okay? Anything that we think might be out of bounds, we put on this list. Anything you put on this list, you cannot be teased about.

Dwight Schrute: Jim is my enemy, but it turns out that Jim is also his own worst enemy. And the enemy of my enemy is my friend, so Jim is actually my friend. But because he is his own worst enemy, the enemy of my friend is my enemy, so actually, Jim is my enemy. But...

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+ Quotes on the IMDb