The Testi-Roastial

The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel 5×6

Stewart Jones: Her big break came...
Susie: Bring me some food.
Stewart Jones: ... when she discovered the comedian whose name we shall not utter tonight at the long-defunct Gaslight Café on MacDougal.

Aaron Lebowitz: Susie's like anybody else, really. She has her bad side and her good side. There's the ruthlessness, the vindictiveness, the profane bile that spews from her mouth like Satan's lava. Then, on the bad side...

Mike: So, who is Susie Myerson? She's the only person in America whose life was made better by Arthur 2. She's the only woman who ever told Tom Cruise that he's "unfuckably short." And she's the only person I know who would get into a screaming fight with Sidney Lumet at Anne Bancroft's birthday party. Susie and I met on Gordon Ford...

Susie: These douchebags that never open letters, but they all have letter openers. I truly despise that.

Midge: It's not him. Philip is great. He really is, but there's love and then there's love, you know. And then there's love. And I don't have that right kind of love-love for him, you know? I am gonna beat you with a pineapple.

Midge: Who owns you now, Susie, today?

Midge: This is how I'm gonna remember you, Susie. Small.

Susie: Wow. Over 30 years in the business, and this is who shows up to celebrate me. It's a real who's who of who gives a fuck. I mean, I haven't been this uninterested in what a group of people had to say since that time I went to an AA meeting.

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