I Love Judging People

Avenue 5 (2×7)

Herman Judd: Making it in two parts meant that I could classify Avenue 5 as two half-mile vessels. Made me a substantial tax saving.
Ryan Clark: Jesus wept.
Herman Judd: No, Jesus beat the shit out of the tax collectors. Look it up.

Ryan Clark: No, no, no. No. We're talking about genocide.
Rav Mulcair: Again!
Iris Kimura: It's not genocide if half of us survive.
Ryan Clark: All right, semi-cide then.

Rav Mulcair: So, who decides who goes in which half?
Ryan Clark: No. It's not a dictator's job to decide on a whim who lives or dies... It absolutely is, isn't it?

Ryan Clark: A passenger pogrom! There's gotta be a better way of doing it than this.
Matt Spencer: Look, we've always given machines the tasks that we can't handle, right? Defuse bombs, reset bowling pins, provide reliable orgasms. This is another thing that we should put in the hands of a machine because ours are too shaky.

Ryan Clark: Okay. To use what is rapidly becoming our popular catchphrase... fuck it. Let us temporarily suspend our humanity.

Ryan Clark: Did my ranking just go up?
Iris Kimura: The algorithm rewards cold-hearted decisions clinically made.
Ryan Clark: So it's a psychopath?

Mia: How can my ranking be so low when I am 3D printing an actual human baby in my cooch?

Karen Kelly: How can I be bottom half? Doesn't make sense. I'm a good person. Fact.

Karen Kelly: Ryan compliments me all the time. He says he never met anyone like me.
Frank Kelly: That's a known British insult, honey.
Karen Kelly: No, it's not.
Frank Kelly: No, I think it is.

Ryan Clark: We'll have, uh, an "Eel-ivia Colman," an "Idris Eel-ba," and an "Eel-ementary, My Dear Wats-eel" for the tab-eel.

Ryan Clark: Dull and draining. Like a month of fucking Wednesdays.

Billie McEvoy: I can't... I can't believe it. I'm number two.
Spike Martin: How...? Really?! Oh, I'm so pleased for you.
Billie McEvoy: That makes me so happy-- Wait. Who's number one? Who the fuck is better than me?!
Spike Martin: She's a real number two, all right.

Ryan Clark: I... I didn't do anything. Unless I'm being penalized for existing.

Herman Judd: It's actually a very simple system. It's, um... How do you turn it on?
Ryan Clark: Don't you use it?
Herman Judd: No. I can't be in my own app because then it would achieve singularity.

Ryan Clark: Are you low?
Herman Judd: As if.
Ryan Clark: That is very cheering. The German word for what I'm feeling now is "Schitting Fantastiche."

Iris Kimura: Okay. For this to happen, you're gonna have to treat me like a human being, because I am.
Herman Judd: You are like a human being.
Iris Kimura: I am a human being, damn it, and I want respect!
Herman Judd: I respect you so much... Okay, I will do my best to make the respect happen.

Billie McEvoy: What the fuck? You?
Mads: The best of us is Mads. You are two. I is one. We are three. Pronounced "free."
Billie McEvoy: Oh. Oh, I see. No, no, no, it doesn't understand you. You're just saying nonsense confidently and you have cheekbones.
Mads: Billie, don't overthink it. It's a very, very number two thing to do.

Spike Martin: But you're number two!
Billie McEvoy: Yeah, but we're engineers, so... we should be with the engines, right?
Spike Martin: You're right. Yeah. Grease and math, my two pillars.

Billie McEvoy: How did you do in the end?
Spike Martin: Uh, it was good, but then bad. Apparently, my jokes are offensive. I got complaints from bisexuals, people who don't know the meaning of the word "monosyllabic," folks who are allergic to watermelon.

--
On the IMDb