Everything is Bellmore

The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel 4×3

Midge: We confused them.
Boise: Look, as long as some girl's out there shaking her chichis, those guys don't care how the fuck they're dressed.
Midge: I disagree. With Sapphira the Harem Girl, they're anticipating sultry, mysterious chichis, not the bippity-boppity chichis of the Roaring '20s girl.
Boise: Look, no one's confused 'cause no one's hardly listening to you.
Midge: I take offense at that.
Boise: You all do.

Midge: Maybe we should have a safety meeting. In the Catskills, I was frequently voted safety monitor for various activities: water sports, backpacking. We were hiking once, and the rabbi thought for sure he got bit by a snake. I sucked on that man till he almost passed out. On his ankle, that is. Turned out to just be a couple of mosquito bites, but people sure got a laugh out of it.

Midge: Does this necklace work?
Rose: If you have to ask...
Midge: Changing the necklace.

Midge: Guys, it's rock paper scissors. Each thing beats something else. It's a kid's game for God's sake.
Rose: But what if I chose heat? Heat would melt the scissors.
Abe: And burn the paper.
Rose: So heat would beat everything but rock.
Midge: Heat is not an option.
Abe: Water would rust the scissors and ruin the paper.
Rose: Are the scissors brass or steel?
Midge: How about we just flip a coin, hmm?

Rose: I promise you, Amelia, we will find you the perfect mate.
Amelia: You think so?
Rose: I do. I really do.
Amelia: Because every time I meet a man, I never know what to say.
Rose: It doesn't matter what you say. The man's not listening to you anyhow.

Susie: What's this?
Rose: I ordered it for you.
Susie: For me? The whole thing?
Rose: Yes.
Susie: And it's just whipped cream?
Rose: And a spoon.
Susie: And I can just eat it? It doesn't have to go on anything?
Rose: That's right.
Susie: Rose Weissman, I would follow you into hell.
Rose: That won't be necessary.

Susie: Uh, hi. Guess I'm Susie.

Rabbi Huebsche: What's more important, Abraham, your public or your people?
Pauly: Yeah! We escaped the jaws of Hitler for this?

Abe: There is something you all need to know going forward. You are the frog. I am the scorpion. I sting because it is my nature... Damn, I wish I had my cape!

Susie: To Jackie. A man who didn't suffer fools gladly and thought everyone was a fool. A man whose love of ocarinas summed up his total lack of musical taste. A man who borrowed ten bucks from me the day before he died, because somehow he knew. A man who knew how to drive me crazier than any person in this fucking world, except you. A man who was... my friend. To Jackie.
Midge: To Jackie.

--
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Ofelia

Fear the Walking Dead 7×11

Daniel: I'm not scared of these people. What's scary is what I'm gonna have to do to them.

Daniel: And now... let's get the hell off this boat.

Daniel: I'm looking for her to tell her who I am and apologize for my lies.
Luciana: I know. That's what you wanted, what you still want. So much that your mind is telling you that you can. But you can't.

Daniel: A mind... it's a very fragile thing. Very easy to break. Very hard to put back together.

Daniel: You're better off not knowing about your brother. The truth about people is always disappointing. Trust me.

Wes: You know, Derek and I... we had this thing we used to say to each other... people are people.
Luciana: What does that mean?
Wes: It means people suck.

Daniel: You found the weapons...
Morgan: Yes, we did.
Daniel: Well, now, all we need to do is start planning how to overthrow Victor Strand.

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On the IMDb

As They Made Us (2022)

Dr. Ashkenazi: Mrs. Frey, you need to consider hiring a full-time caregiver. You're going to end up hurting yourself.
Barbara: We need a fourth opinion.

Abigail Frey: So listen, so many things to say, my dad's dying. I mean, everybody is dying, but some quicker than others. And my mom is not. I mean, can I petition for a new mom?

Nathan: His wreckage was tangible. Hers was so insidious and disturbing.

Abigail: I just, I don't know how to tackle that one yet. But I've got to fix it. I said I'd fix it.
Jay: Well, I kind of fix for a living. And I can tell you this, things will keep breaking.

Barbara: If it were my last birthday on Earth, I would eat this cake.

Eugene: I worry about her.
Abigail: Why is that?
Eugene: That she won't be okay, that she'll miss me. I never meant that I could do anything without her. And now I'm gonna die without her. All I want is to be with her forever.
Abigail: Do you ever tell her that?
Eugene: Oh, I couldn't tell her that...
Abigail: You just did.

—
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The One Where Ross Is Fine

Friends 10×2

Ross: Hey, hey, hey. If you two are happy... then I'm happy for you. I'm fine.
Rachel: Really?
Ross: Absolutely. I'm fine. Totally fine. Heh. I don't know why it's coming out all loud and squeaky... because, really... I'm fine.

Monica: There's inter-country adoption, dependency adoption. There's so many ways to go, and this is, like, the biggest decision of our lives.
Chandler: ... There's a hair in my coffee.

Phoebe: Oh, God. So adorable. Look at them, sleeping there like angels.
Frank Jr.: Yeah, I really cherish these moments...
Phoebe: Mm.
Frank Jr.: ...because, uh, before you know it, they're gonna be awake again.

Ross: Everyone, I would like to make a toast... to Rachel and Joey. And to love. L-O-V-E. Love. L is for "life." And what is life without love?
Rachel: Oh, my God, are we supposed to answer?
Ross: O is for: "Oh, wow!" The V is for this... very surprising turn of events... which I am still fine with, by the way. E... is for how... extremely normal I find it... that you two... are together.

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Billy Jones and the Orgy Lamps

The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel 4×2

Midge: Who says it has to be arranged exactly the way Joel and I had it even though it made sense. Joel and I made sense, and we all know how that ended up.

Midge: I want to walk into this bedroom and feel like this is my bedroom. I don't want to feel like this is where Joel and I kind of often... you know.

Abe: You never should have bought this place back, Miriam. I mean, what man is going to want a woman who owns her own apartment?
Rose: He does have a point there. It does make you less feminine.

Midge: So I did all of this for you, and you want to tell the whole world that you did it for me? That's not right. Abe: I didn't realize this was a contest. Midge: It's not. Abe: I thought this was just an altruistic thing you were doing for us.
Rose: Then we're agreed.
Midge: It is. On what?
Rose: That you're moving in here with us. Right, Abe?.. It's done.

Susie: I got ten Broadway investors threatening to sue me.
Harry Drake: Oh, piss in a pot. What week am I not being sued? Look, this is the most goddamn litigious business in the most goddamn litigious city in the most goddamn litigious country in the world. It's America.

Susie: Where you going?
Midge: To grab a hat.
Susie: No, don't, 'cause it won't be just a hat.
Midge: Yes, it will.
Susie: Do not change your wardrobe. It's fine!
Midge: Just a hat!
Susie: It's never just a hat!

Joel: I am not gonna date a pregnant woman.
Shirley: Oh, God, no, there is no time to date.
Joel: I'll tell her I'm sick. And that you're nuts.
Shirley: Joel, you're a divorced man with two young children. You own a nightclub in Chinatown, which is impossible to explain. You can hardly afford to be choosy.

Abe: You know what the irony is about this whole thing?
Midge: Mm.
Abe: The job. It's great. I mean... it's really great. I like these people. They're different. Smart but... looser. And it's the funniest thing.
Midge: Yeah?
Abe: They seem to like me.

Midge: Okay, Papa, I know this is a shock, but look at it this way. You are doing something that you love... The both of us. Pursuing our art. Although one of us pursuing banking would've been smart.

--
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Mourning Cloak

Fear the Walking Dead 7×10

Howard: Garcia promised he'd do anything he could to protect this place. If he couldn't do it while he was alive, then...

Ali: She's sick. Because of you, because of what you made her do.
Howard: She's sick because that's what the world out there has to offer. Which is why we have to do everything to protect what we've built here and not let our personal feelings cloud our judgment.

--
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Meet the Parents (2000)

Greg Focker: Pam, I don't hate cats. I don't hate cats. I just happen to be more of a dog lover.

Greg Focker: O dear God… thank you. You are such a good God to us, a kind and gentle… and accommodating God. And we thank you, O sweet, sweet Lord of hosts… for the… smorgasbord you have so aptly lain at our table this day… and each day… by day. Day by day by day. O dear Lord, three things we pray. To love Thee more dearly, to see Thee more clearly, to follow Thee more nearly… day by day… by day. Amen.

Dina Byrnes: I had… I had no idea you could milk a cat.
Greg Focker: Oh, yeah, you can milk anything with nipples.
Jack Byrnes: I have nipples, Greg. Could you milk me?

Greg Focker: I was scared of your dad back when I thought he was a florist. It's wonderful to know I've actually got a CIA spy-hunter on my ass.

Greg Focker: If you would take a second and take the little sticks out of your head and clean out your ears, maybe you would see that I'm a person who has feelings, and all I have to do is do what I wanna do! All I wanna do is hold onto my bag and not listen to you! The only way that I would ever let go of my bag would be if you came over here now and tried to pry it from my dead, lifeless fingers. OK? If you can get it from my kung fu grip, then you can come and have it. OK? Otherwise, step off, bitch.

Jack Byrnes: Gaylord Focker… will you be my son-in-law?

—
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The One After Joey and Rachel Kiss

Friends 10×1

Joey: I can't believe I'm kissing you.
Rachel: Ha, ha.
Joey: I'm kissing Rachel!
Rachel: Ha, ha. I know. I'm her. Ha, ha.

Monica: Wow! Wait a minute. Ross and Charlie. Joey and Rachel. Phoebe and Mike. We're the only ones leaving with the person we came with!
Chandler: That's not true. I came with Monica, I'm leaving with Weird Al.

Ross: Hey, what are you guys doing?
Phoebe: Oh, we're just... We're sad to go, so we're just saying goodbye to the hotel. I love you... Paradise Hotel Golf Resort and Spa.
Monica: ... Yeah. We had a great time, thank you.
Chandler: ... Bye.

Joey: Have you guys been...?
Monica: Shh! This is the listening side of the wall.

Joey: So, I'm gonna... I'm gonna take off. Although...
Rachel: I like "although."

Ross: Why? Why do bad things happen to good people?

Phoebe: Susie... Can I call you Susie?
Precious: My name is Precious.
Phoebe: I can't say that. Um, Susie, I'm gonna be straight with you--

—
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Day of the Wedding

This Is Us 6×13

Madison: Get out. You can't see Kate.
Beth: Come on, Big Phil. No looky.
Philip: Ladies, this is my second trip down the aisle. And you know what I learned the first time? That silly superstitions have zero bearing on the outcome of marriages. So I'm gonna looky. Okay? I'm gonna looky real good.

Madison: Kevin is having a secret wedding weekend romance, and these are the clues.
Beth: It's like a true crime whodunit.
Madison: But with sex.

Jack: Oh. Wow.
Rebecca: Good wow or bad wow?
Jack: It's different. It's different. I'm, uh... I'm-I'm... I'm getting my head around it.

Philip: I have no idea if Rebecca can do this. I mean, th-this unfettered hope that all will go well does not come naturally to an Englishman. I mean, I-I'm gonna try my best to keep optimistic that it'll all be okay, because it will... crush your sister if it doesn't.

Jack: All right, now listen up. There is no making fun of your mother. If you don't have something nice to say about her new haircut, you don't say anything at all.

Kate: A Super Bowl ring only worthy of those willing to battle in the snow and in the mud... I'll explain what a Super Bowl is later.

Randall: I've been thinking a lot today, um... about time. And how, when you're young... A year is like a fifth of your existence. And so maybe when you're younger, time seems to move a little bit slower. Summer vacation is a lifetime. But the older we get, the faster time just seems to come at us. All of us.
     You know, the years just keep flying by, faster and faster. It can give a guy whiplash, just thinking about it. And so while I would love nothing more than to... stay in this moment as long as humanly possible, to celebrate our favorite newlyweds... sadly, I have yet to build a remote that pauses life. Damn.
     That doesn't mean there aren't still summer vacations to be enjoyed. Still good conversations to be had. And still love to be shared. It just all happens much faster. But, um... in moments like this, when you're around all your favorite people... celebrating a really special day... time does slow down ever so much.
     So I'm grateful to Kate and Philip for that. And I'm filled with comfort, as I look around this room, knowing that all of you will be on this speeding train with me, slowing down for the occasional special stop. All the way till the very end.
     So, um... cheers.

Randall: What are you supposed to do with that?
Beth: Only thing you can do, baby. You dance.

--
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Babies, Lies and a Resplendent Cannoli

Young Sheldon 5×18

Sheldon: Oh, I'm assuming you heard the bad news.
George: What news?
Sheldon: Isaac Asimov died.
Mary: Oh, no, is that one of your school friends?

Sheldon: He's one of the most prolific science fiction writers in the history of the genre.
George: Never heard of him.
Sheldon: Sure you have. He wrote I, Robot, the Foundation trilogy.
George: Nope.
Sheldon: Nightfall? The Posotronic Man?
George: You ever heard of this guy?
Mary: Mm-mm.
Sheldon: Caves of Steel. Hostess. The Naked Sun?
George: Whoever he is, sorry he died. Gotta go. Bye.

Sheldon: Astonishing. Asimov wrote almost 500 books, which was apparently 500 more than my family had read.

Meemaw: Boring!
Sheldon: Boring? Asimov invented the laws of robotics and the concept of a galactic empire.
Meemaw: If a book doesn't have a shirtless guy with long hair on the cover, I ain't reading it.

Sheldon: We lost a great man today, and no one seems to care.
Dr. Linkletter: Asimov?
Sheldon: Yes, Asimov.
Dr. Linkletter: I told three people the news, and you know what they said? "Who's that?"
Sheldon: Exactly.
Dr. Linkletter: What's wrong with the world? The man's a legend.
Sheldon: I didn't know you were a fan.
Dr. Linkletter: Ever since I read The Naked Sun. I'll admit, I came for the naked, but I stayed for the interplanetary conspiracies.

Dale: Well, I hope you enjoyed being young and carefree, because that ship has sailed.

Dale: How does she feel about you right now?
Georgie: Pissed. But she's pregnant, so it's probably just chick hormones.
Dale: Well, tell her that and see what happens.

Sheldon: Guess what. Dr. Sturgis, Dr. Linkletter and I are starting an Isaac Asimov book club.
Meemaw: That's nice.
Sheldon: I'm glad you think so because you should join.
Meemaw: And I think no.
Sheldon: But this is perfect for you.
Meemaw: Why?
Sheldon: Because three smart people will be there to explain things that go over your head.

Missy: Mom, can I ask you a Bible question?
Mary: Always.
Missy: Lying's a sin, right?
Mary: Sure is. Proverbs 12:22. "The Lord detests lying lips, but He delights in people who are trustworthy."
Missy: Does it say anything specifically about lying to your pastor?
Mary: Did you lie to Pastor Jeff?
Missy: No, but you did.

--
On the IMDb

The One in Barbados

Friends 9×23-24

David: Why did Phoebe and Mike break up?
Chandler: Oh, because his penis was too big... I'm sorry. That's the kind of thing I do.

Monica: Chandler, we have talked about this. You are not supposed to give people advice! Couldn't you have made some inappropriate joke?
Chandler: I did! A penis one! Just so I know, what was so wrong about what I said?

Chandler: Isn't an engagement ring supposed to have a diamond? Oh, there it is.
David: Yes, well, being a failed scientist... doesn't pay quite as well as you might think. That's one-seventieth of a carat. And the clarity is quite poor.
Chandler: Nice.

Chandler: If Phoebe wants to marry David, she should. I'm not gonna stand in the way of that. Neither should you.
Monica: You don't tell me what to do. I tell you what to do.

Chandler: Meddler! Meddler!
Monica: If you hadn't meddled to start with... then I wouldn't have had to go in and meddle myself. No matter how much we meddle, we'll never be able to unmeddle... the thing that you meddled up in the first place!

Joey: Stupid rain. We can't do anything.
Rachel: Well, I brought some books. We could read.
Joey: Hey, it hasn't come to that yet.

Joey: Erectus?
Rachel: Homo.
Joey: Right.

Phoebe: I'll play if we don't keep score.
Monica: Well, then how do we know who wins?
Phoebe: Nobody wins.
Monica: So we're just four losers. Super.

Monica: Oh, my God. You're good... It's like watching porn.
Chandler: And that's how it's done!

—
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Rumble on the Wonder Wheel

The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel 4×1

Midge: Revenge... You know how there are times in your life when things seem to be going great? And then suddenly, out of nowhere, you round the corner, and bam, someone steps in and fucks it the fuck up? And you never saw it coming because you were too busy being happy. And I know, that's life. Shit happens. You should be a bigger man and just let it go. Well, I'm a woman, so fuck that. I want my fucking pound of flesh. I want my revenge.

Midge: I'm talking real revenge, not the "Hey, I got you a lifetime subscription to The Watchtower" kind of revenge, but Shakespearean, blood-soaked, painful, soul-crushing revenge. I will dig out my high school clarinet and play klezmer music next door to you 24 hours a day. I will sneak into your basement, and I will fry fish. I will befriend your only daughter, and I will introduce her to a poet, and I will sit at their wedding and I will laugh. I'm talking Medea-level revenge.

Susie: ... and then you would've bombed in Prague.
Midge: What? Why?
Susie: Those people don't laugh.
Midge: I could've made Prague people laugh.
Susie: You've never been to Prague. What the fuck would you talk about?
Midge: I'd find something. "Hello, Prague. Remember Jews?"

Mei: They just assumed your club would fail.
Joel: Why?
Mei: 'Cause you're a Jewish ex-plastics salesman who suddenly opened a club in Chinatown with an English to Chinese dictionary from the 1800s.

Abe: You know, when I was a boy, I had a sock. That was my toy. Stuck my hand in it and said, "Where did my fingers go?" That was the game. The end... And nobody cares.

Tess: Susie, I'm not really good at reading certain situations, but this seems a little...
Susie: Fucked-up.

Mr. Bartosiewicz: I didn't mean to scare you.
Susie: Oh, we're not scared. We love secret rooms with no handles on the door.

Midge: You know what's great about me?
Susie: Your humility?
Midge: No. It's when I'm me. So, why would I wait until I finally have enough power to say to them, "I want to be me"? What if they never let me be me?
Susie: They will.
Midge: I want to be me every time I walk out on that stage.

Midge: I will only do gigs where I can say what I want.
Susie: Midge...
Midge: That's what Lenny would do.
Susie: That's different. He's Lenny Bruce.
Midge: Well, then make me Lenny Bruce. Make me a headliner.
Susie: How am I supposed to do that if I can't even book you?
Midge: I don't know. You're my manager. Manage me.

--
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Follow Me

Fear the Walking Dead 7×9

Paul: Bon appétit..... I... I take it you've never had haggis.
Alicia: Mnh-mnh.
Paul: Rowan was Scottish. Always kept cans of this stuff in the pantry, and if I'm being honest, I had the same reaction as you did when I first tried it. But I, um... I grew to like it. And when you're scavenging, you'd be surprised how easy it is to find. Whole grocery stores picked clean, save for that stuff.

Paul: Nobody ever makes great music imitating others. It's gotta come from you.

Paul: Here. Put these in. It's gonna get loud...

Paul: You just need to believe in what you're capable of.

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Sluga naroda #1.8

Servant of the People 1×8

Dmitriy Vasilievich: We're not only bankers. We're also surgeons.
Olga Yurievna Mischenko: Clearly. So... There's no way out?
Dmitriy Vasilievich: There is.
Olga Yurievna Mischenko: Enlighten me, then.
Dmitriy Vasilievich: Relax and have fun.

Yuriy Ivanovich Chuiko: "If you have a good army, you will find good allies."
Vasiliy Petrovich Goloborodko, president of Ukraine: Machiavelli.
Yuriy Ivanovich Chuiko: Correct. It's as though he looked into a crystal ball.

Sergei Viktorovich Mukhin: It's some country in Asia.
Vasiliy Petrovich Goloborodko, president of Ukraine: Which country?
Sergei Viktorovich Mukhin: Ugandiya!
Vasiliy Petrovich Goloborodko, president of Ukraine: Uganda. And it's in Africa, not Asia.
Sergei Viktorovich Mukhin: Who cares, Vasya. A coup is underway.
Vasiliy Petrovich Goloborodko, president of Ukraine: What coup?
Sergei Viktorovich Mukhin: Military. We have to act! But how?
If it's military, then condemn it.
Sergei Viktorovich Mukhin: The U.S. approved it.
Vasiliy Petrovich Goloborodko, president of Ukraine: Then also approve it.
Sergei Viktorovich Mukhin: But China condemned it!
Vasiliy Petrovich Goloborodko, president of Ukraine: Then maintain a neutral stance.
Sergei Viktorovich Mukhin: No, Vasya. That's what the Swiss do.

Sergei Viktorovich Mukhin: Put simply... Why do we always deliberate over the coups in Africa? Negroes are also people! Let them coup if they want.
Journalist: You, clearly, meant to say Africans?
Sergei Viktorovich Mukhin: Negroes, Africans... No difference. Aren't negroes and Africans the same? Or is "negro" a bad word? I didn't say "nigger", I said "negroes". Incidentally, have you heard a joke about this? I'll tell you...

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On the IMDb

The One with the Donor

Friends 9×22

Rachel: Pheebs, I'm taking Charlie shopping. Come and I'll help you find something.
Phoebe: That'd be great!
Joey: Oh, isn't that nice? The three of you, trying on slutty lingerie together...
Rachel: That's not what we're gonna do.
Joey: Why'd you ruin it? Who was I hurting?

Chandler: So Zack's pretty nice, huh?
Monica: Yeah, I guess.
Chandler: So how would you like to have a baby that's half yours and half his?

Phoebe: I'm Rachel. It's so annoying when I put Emma on the phone to talk with my friends.
Rachel: What?!
Phoebe: Well, some things are just hard to say to your face.

Chandler: What do you think? I want his genes for my kid. Those eyes, those cheekbones.
Monica: Okay, there's enthusiastic, and there's just plain gay.

Chandler: I'm the husband. I'm supposed to bring the sperm.

—
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Katoby

This Is Us 6×12

Toby: I want you to know... that I see it now. I'm sorry it took me so long. If only I'd had a crystal ball, if I could've seen the way that this all ended up.
Kate: Yeah. Life would be much simpler if we could live it backwards, huh?

Kate: How do I know when it's time to end a marriage?

Toby: Look, most importantly, is that you don't yell around the kids. You don't yell around them and you don't yell at them.
Philip: Yeah, don't worry. British people don't yell. Even when we're furious, we just wrinkle our noses disapprovingly.

Kate: I was married to a wonderful man. And we loved each other a lot. And it wasn't enough. We were both so scared of pushing each other away that we just swallowed our feelings, time after time. And I can never be in a relationship like that again.

Toby: Don't do this, please. I am terrified. I don't... I don't want to be alone. Okay? I-I don't want to have to start over. I don't want to have to live half of my life without my kids. We can, we can, we can get better. I know that we can. This cannot be the way that our story ends. Please, please, please, this-this-this cannot... this-this can't, this cannot be the way that it ends. Okay?

Kate: This is not how our story ends. Just because our marriage is over, doesn't mean our story's over.

Kate: We were meant to find each other in that weight loss group. We were meant to be together. And now... we're meant to be apart. And I know that one day you will see it.

--
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The Big Lebowski (1998)

The Stranger: They call Los Angeles The City of Angels. I didn't find it to be that exactly.

The Dude: You know, this is the fucking guy I could find this fucking Lebowski guy.
Donny: His name is Lebowski? That's your name, Dude.
The Dude: This is the guy who should compensate me for the fucking rug. His wife goes out and owes money all over town, and they pee on my rug?
Walter Sobchak: They pee on your fucking rug.
The Dude: They pee on my fucking rug.
Walter Sobchak: That's right, Dude. They peed on your fucking rug.

The Big Lebowski: Are you employed, Mr. Lebowski?
The Dude: Uh, wait, let me let me explain something to you. I am not Mr. Lebowski. You're Mr. Lebowski. I'm The Dude. So that's what you call me, you know. That or, his Dudeness, or, Duder, or, you know, el Duderino, if you're not into the whole brevity thing.

The Big Lebowski: I cannot solve your problems, sir, only you can.
The Dude: Oh, fuck it.
The Big Lebowski: Yes, that's your answer. That's your answer to everything. Tattoo it on your forehead. Your revolution is over, Mr. Lebowski! Condolences! The bums lost! My advice to you is to do what your parents did! Get a job, sir! The bums will always lose! Do you hear me, Lebowski?! The bums will always lose!

The Dude: You want me to blow on your, toes?
Bunny Lebowski: I can't blow that far.
The Dude: Are you sure he won't mind?
Bunny Lebowski: He really doesn't care about anything. He's a nihilist.
The Dude: Oh, and that must be exhausting.

The Dude: You can't do that, man. These guys, you know, they're like me. They're pacifists. Smokey was a conscientious objector.
Walter Sobchak: You know, Dude, I, myself, dabbled in pacifism at one point, not in 'nam, of course.
The Dude: And you know he's got emotional problems, man.
Walter Sobchak: You mean, beyond pacifism?

The Dude: Just take it easy, man.
Walter Sobchak: You know, that's your answer for everything, Dude. And let me point out something. Pacifism is not look at our current situation with that camelfucker in Iraq. Pacifism is not something to hide behind.
The Dude: Just take it easy, man.
Walter Sobchak: I'm perfectly calm, Dude.
The Dude: Yeah, waving the fucking gun around?
Walter Sobchak: Calmer than you are.
The Dude: Will you just take it easy?
Walter Sobchak: Calmer than you are.

The Big Lebowski: What makes a man, Mr. Lebowski?
The Dude: I... don't know, sir.
The Big Lebowski: Is it being prepared to do the right thing? Whatever the cost? Isn't that what makes a man?
The Dude: Sure, that and a pair of testicles.

Walter Sobchak: It's all goddamn fake, man. It's like Lenin said. You look for the person who will benefit, and, you know...
Donny: I am the walrus?
Walter Sobchak: You know, you'll ... You know what I'm trying to say.
Donny: I am the walrus.
Walter Sobchak: That fuckin' bitch!
Donny: I am the walrus.
Walter Sobchak: Shut the fuck up, Donny! V.I. Lenin. Vladimir Ilyich Ulyanov!

Jesus Quintana: Let me tell you something, pendejo, you pull any crazy shit with us, you flash a piece out on the lanes, I'll take it away from you and stick it up your ass and pull the fuckin' trigger till it goes click.
The Dude: Jesus.
Jesus Quintana: You said it, man. Nobody fucks with the Jesus.

The Dude: Yeah. That's a great plan. Walter, that's fucking ingenious, if I understand it correctly. It's a Swiss fuckin' watch.
Walter Sobchak: That's right, Dude. The beauty of this is its simplicity. Once a plan gets too complex, everything can go wrong. If there's one thing I learned in 'nam, it's--

Walter Sobchak: Aw, fuck it, Dude. Let's go bowling.

Maude Lebowski: Does the female form make you uncomfortable, Mr. Lebowski?
The Dude: Is that what this is a picture of?
Maude Lebowski: In a sense, yes. My art has been commended as being strongly vaginal, which bothers some men. The word itself makes some men uncomfortable. Vagina.
The Dude: Oh, yeah?
Maude Lebowski: Yes, they don't like hearing it and find it difficult to say, whereas without batting an eye, a man will refer to his dick or his rod Or his... Johnson.
The Dude: Johnson?

Maude Lebowski: So Oolie has the money?
The Dude: Well... no, not exactly. This is a very complicated case, Maude. A lot of ins, a lot of outs, a lot of what-have-yous, and... a lot of strands to keep in my head, man. A lot of strands in old Duder's head.

The Dude: You know, Walter, you're right. There is an unspoken message here. It's fuck you! Leave me the fuck alone!... Yeah, I'll be at practice.

The Stranger: All The Dude ever wanted was his rug back. I'm not greedy. It would really... tie the room together.

Walter Sobchak: I can't drive, Dude, It's Erev Shabbos.
The Dude: What?
Walter Sobchak: Erev Shabbos. I can't drive.
The Dude: Man!
Walter Sobchak: I'm not even supposed to pick up the phone unless it's an emergency.
The Dude: This is a fucking emergency!
Walter Sobchak: I understand. That's why I picked up the phone.

Walter Sobchak: My point is, here we are, it's Shabbos, the Sabbath, which I'm allowed to break only if it's a matter of life or death.
The Dude: Will you come off it, Walter? You're not even fucking Jewish, man.
Walter Sobchak: What the fuck are you talking about?
The Dude: You're fucking Polish-catholic.
Walter Sobchak: What the fuck are you talking about? I converted when I married Cynthia. Come on, Dude. You know this. The Dude: And 5 fucking years ago, you were divorced.
Walter Sobchak: So what are saying? When you get divorced, you turn in your library card? You get a new license? You stop being Jewish?

Walter Sobchak: Hey, fuck it, man. Let's go bowling.

—
+++ Quotes on the IMDb
+ Soundtracks

Sluga naroda #1.7

Servant of the People 1×7

Vasiliy Petrovich Goloborodko, president of Ukraine: Here! Here's a pretty good one. Our kind of guy. Two university degrees, mind you. A PhD and professor. 20 years in the upper echelons of power. This person is fit for any post. His last name is Ukrainian, not Georgian... Yanukovich. Yanukovich, how?! He's in Ukraine?!
Yuriy Ivanovich Chuiko: The application was mailed. But the candidate is ready to talk on Skype and wants a clean slate.
Vasiliy Petrovich Goloborodko, president of Ukraine: As a bus depot manager? The looney bin!

Vasiliy Petrovich Goloborodko, president of Ukraine: It's some kind of vicious cycle. An honest person must be stupid, then. A smart person must be a thief.
Olga Yurievna Mischenko: A bachelor must be a sex freak.

Vasiliy Petrovich Goloborodko, president of Ukraine: I don't understand... Are all the normal people in this country just gone?
Olga Yurievna Mischenko: Not all the people. The men are gone.

Yuriy Ivanovich Chuiko: Vasyl Petrovych. Name at least one reason why Parliament should vote for them.
Vasiliy Petrovich Goloborodko, president of Ukraine: Yuriy Ivanovich, name at least one reason why I shouldn't bring the people to the Maidan?

Vasiliy Petrovich Goloborodko, president of Ukraine: Why the sour faces on everyone? Chiefly, we're together.
Sergei Viktorovich Mukhin: We'll get our asses kicked.
Vasiliy Petrovich Goloborodko, president of Ukraine: In what way?
Sergei Viktorovich Mukhin: When we're together, we always get our asses kicked.
Vasiliy Petrovich Goloborodko, president of Ukraine: When was the last time that happened?
Sergei Viktorovich Mukhin: I don't remember. We got our asses kicked so hard that I can barely recollect.

—
On the IMDb

Sluga naroda #1.6

Servant of the People 1×6

Vasiliy Petrovich Goloborodko, president of Ukraine: I'll never forsake my principles. The people need change. So if you want to shoot, go ahead and shoot. But mark my words, I'm happy to die for my country.

Glotov: Vasyl Petrovych! Tell us, is it cool being president?
Vasiliy Petrovich Goloborodko, president of Ukraine: What's cool, Glotov, is that in your report, you called the Golden Horde Mongolian-fascist invaders. That was cool.

—
On the IMDb

Saturday in the Park

This Is Us 6×11

Toby: And then this park song that you do with him?
Kate: Okay... Dignity...
Toby: Oh...
Kate: ...independence, confidence, self-respect. That's what we need to be instilling in him now, Toby. Now. Not when he's 12 or 18 or 32. So he can get it in his soul, in his cells, so he knows that he's not broken. All you've ever seen were his limitations.

--
On the IMDb
+ Soundtrack

The One with the Fertility Test

Friends 9×21

Rachel: Phoebe, come on, I don't want to waste it. It would be like throwing away 100 bucks.
Phoebe: Okay, this is not about the money. Okay? It's about corporate greed destroying our hearts... and leaving us hollow shells.
Rachel: I don't care about any of that.

Phoebe: Please don't use this gift certificate. I'm asking you as a friend.
Rachel: Oh, not as a friend... Phoebe! Fine. I won't use it.

Receptionist: Then why do you work here?
Phoebe: Because it's good money. But that doesn't change the fact... that this is an evil, bloodsucking corporate machine.
Receptionist: Well, I think this is a great place to work.
Phoebe: Okay, are they listening?

Monica: I have a weird feeling about this place. How do I know... they won't secretly videotape me and put it all over the Internet?
Chandler: Because, honey, and I mean this in the sweetest way possible... nobody's gonna wanna watch that.

Rachel: Why did you lie to me about working here?
Phoebe: Because I was ashamed, okay? I sold out for the cash. And they give me benefits, like medical and dental and a four-oh-wunk... But, you know, you pay a price. Now I'm this corporate stooge... and punching a clock... and paying taxes!

—
+ Quotes on the IMDb

Licorice Pizza (2021)

Alana: Don't be creepy, please.

Alana: You told me to make it more sexy.
Gary: I told you to make it more sexy, I didn't tell you, "Go over to the guy's house and get in his bed."
Alana: I told you I'm a good actress, Gary. I told you. Don't tell me to make it more sexy, man. If you want it more sexy, I'll make it fucking horny.

Gary: So, just say yes. To whatever she asks you, just say yes. Let's say, if she asks you if you can sing, say yes. If she asks if you can dance, say yes.
Alana: I can sing, and I can dance.
Gary: No, I know. I know. I know. I'm just saying that if she asks you if you can do something that you might not know how to do, just say yes. Because you can always learn how to do something once you get the part. So just say yes to whatever she asks. Whatever she asks, just say yes.

Janice: You have a warm smile, which is very powerful. And you have a very Jewish nose, which is becoming very fashionable.

Janice: Are you athletic? You seem to have a very firm body.
Alana: Yes.
Janice: Do you know how to horseback ride?
Alana: Yes.
Janice: Uh, do you know how to do fencing?
Alana: Yes, I can fence.
Janice: Basketball?
Alana: Yes.
Janice: Baseball?
Alana: Yes.
Janice: Soccer?
Alana: Yes.
Janice: Any other sports or special skills that I should know about?
Alana: I studied Krav Maga.
Janice: Well, I don't know what that is. What is "Quick Draw McGraw"?
Alana: It's martial arts from Israel. It's used in combat. My dad was in the Israeli Army. We all know it.
Janice: So it's a form of karate, let's say?
Alana: It's more like, "How to use a pen to stab someone's eye out."

Janice: You come here trying to be all pretty for me, but really, you remind me... of a dog. Of an English pit bull dog... with sex appeal... and... a very Jewish nose.

Jon Peters: Do you know who I am?
Gary: Yeah.
Jon Peters: Do you know who my girlfriend is?
Gary: Barbra Streisand.
Jon Peters: Barbra "Streisand."
Gary: "Sand."
Jon Peters: "Sand." Yeah, like "sands." Like the ocean, like beaches.
Gary: Barbra Streisand.
Jon Peters: No. "Streisand." "Sand."
Gary: "Streisand."
Jon Peters: "Streisand." "Barbra Streisand."
Gary: "Barbra Streisand."
Jon Peters: Are you fucking with me? All right, let's get past that. Hopefully, you never fucking meet her.

Alana: I'm cooler than you. Don't forget it.
Gary: I don't need you to tell me whether I'm cool or not, old lady.
Alana: What was that?
Gary: I said "milady." I said "milady."
Alana: What was that, then? What was that?
Gary: "My lady." I don't need you to tell me whether I'm cool or not.
Alana: You're not cool, and your breath smells.
Gary: Says you. And you're old.

Matthew: Thank you, Alana. You're very sweet. Do you have a boyfriend?
Alana: Yes and no. I don't know.
Matthew: Is he a shit?
Alana: Yeah. Yeah.
Matthew: Yeah. They're all shits, aren't they?

—
+ Quotes on the IMDb
+ Soundtracks

The One with the Soap Opera Party

Friends 9×20

Monica: Twenty bucks says they're married within the month.

Charlie: Let's ditch him.
Ross: What?!
Charlie: While he's still in the bathroom. I am begging you.
Ross: Okay. Okay, fine, but I just have one question for you. When we exit, should we walk or run... or prance or stroll...?
Charlie: Stop it! Stop it! He talks slow, but he might pee fast.

Monica: You're not sick.
Rachel: What? Yes, I am!
Monica: Okay, then why are you all dressed up?
Rachel: When you're sick, you do whatever you can to make yourself feel better.

Bitter Woman on Stage: Chapter 1: My First Period...

Rachel: Why? What's wrong with these guys?
Joey: Well, nothing major. It's just that, you know, they're not really good enough for you... and you deserve the best.
Rachel: Joey, you're so sweet.
Joey: It's true, but it doesn't matter. I already know who you're going home with.
Rachel: Who?
Joey: Me.
Rachel: What? Really?!
Joey: Yeah, because we live together..... It's a joke! It's a joke.
Rachel: Right! That's funny! I get it!

Monica: Oh, my God. Honey, I am so, so, so, so sorry.
Chandler: You should be. You missed the most powerful three hours in the history of the theater.
Monica: You really liked it?
Chandler: Oh, yeah. I mean, at first I hated it. But why wouldn't I? Because as a man, I've been trained not to listen! But after Chapter 16: Fat, Single and Ready to Mingle... I was uplifted.
Monica: Oh, really?
Chandler: Oh, yeah. I had no idea the amazing journey you go through as a woman. Tell me... Tell me about your first period.

Ross: I'm smarter than him!

—
+ Quotes on the IMDb
+ Soundtracks

Back to the Cold War

South Park 25×4

Garrison: Okay, children, let's take our seats. I know there's a lot of things going on and we're all a little bit worried. I've heard some of you express concern over current events, so I think we should discuss what's happening. It is true... Rick and I did get into a fight over the weekend. Now, I don't know what you've heard and what you haven't, but Rick was wrong, okay? He's the one that needs to apologize.
Wendy Testaburger: We're not worried about that. We're all worried about Putin.
Garrison: Putin? It was just a little noise when I pulled out. Nobody was "pootin," okay?

Mr. Mackey: Uh, kids, I need your attention! We're doing an emergency drill this morning, m'kay... M'kay, now, we haven't done these in a long time, but we need to be prepared if the Russians decide to nuke us. Now, when you hear this sound...
— The Russians are nuking us.
Mr. Mackey: Then you need to quickly and calmly get out of your seats and get to the gymnasium, m'kay?
— The Russians are nuking us.
Mr. Mackey: .... The Russians are [BLEEP] nuking us! Go! Go, go, go!
— We're all gonna die!!!

P.C. Principal: Well, Mr. Mackey, this is the seventh drill that we've done in two days. And I see that you also put in the budget for a bomb shelter and 20 VHS copies of "Red Dawn."
Mr. Mackey: VHS is still really the best format when you think about it.
P.C. Principal: Mr. Mackey, I'm starting to worry that this is sort of... nostalgic for you, like you're kind of enjoying this.
Mr. Mackey: Enjoying it?! My job is to have this school ready. Kids need to know what Russia is capable of. Ah-staff meen-ya if pahk-oye.
P.C. Principal: You speak Russian?
Mr. Mackey: No, but I watched "Hunt For Red October" like 200 times.

Butters Stotch: I'll do my best, Dad.
Stephen Stotch: You're gonna have to do better than that, Butters. You see that little Russian kid over there? That kid doesn't give a shit about you. He just wants to win and take what little patriotism our country has left.
Butters Stotch: That kid?
Linda Stotch: You didn't live through the Cold War, Butters, but we did.
Stephen Stotch: This tournament is gonna be turned into a political spectacle, and you have to win. Otherwise, I'm afraid we'll have to give your pony away to communists who slaughter ponies and donkeys to make skin cream. That's mostly the Chinese, but a commie's a commie.
Linda Stotch: Better dead than red, Butters.

Butters Stotch: We need to have a serious talk, Melancholy, and I need you to listen. There's a time to poop, and there's a time to work. And the best thing is to poop when your work is done...

Mama Mackey: Honey... as your mother, I want you to know you can talk to me about whatever you want. Even if it's about being scared of gettin' old.
Mr. Mackey: Things used to be so much simpler, Mama. There was a good guy and a... and a bad guy. And we all... sort of came together and loved our country... Not like it is now.
Mama Mackey: Ohhh, junior. I know that gettin' old isn't so much fun, is it? We all wanna go back to a time when we were younger. You're getting to be around 55. Your pee-pee doesn't work so good, does it?

Mama Mackey: When a man gets to a point where his pee-pee doesn't work the way it used to, he starts to... well, sit in his room and play war games again, you know?

Mama Mackey: But, honey, those times weren't better. We were all scared. People died. That's not something to strive to get back to. .... It... It just felt good 'cause it was familiar. That's just sort of what us old people do. It all comes down to this.

Linda Stotch: What's he doing?
Stephen Stotch: What's he doing?! He's fighting for democracy! Go, Butters!

Mr. Mackey: I just wanna say to the Russians... That if I can change, then yous can change! I know how it is when you're gettin' old, you know, and you start getting aggressive because your dick doesn't work the way it used to.
President Putin: Da... Da...
Mr. Mackey: But just because our dicks don't work doesn't mean we should go back to the way things were.

Mr. Mackey: In the immortal words of Sting... We all share the same biology. Regardless of ideology.

—
On the IMDb
+ Soundtrack

The One with Rachel's Dream

Friends 9×19

Joey: God, you're beautiful... Why are we fighting this? You know you want it to happen as much as I do... I want you... I need you... Let me make love to you.
Rachel: I don't wanna stand in the way of, uh, true love or anything... but I think a cantaloupe might hurt less.

Monica: What are you doing here?
Phoebe: You said you had customers lined up in the street, so I'm here to entertain.
Monica: Great.
Phoebe: Yeah, it really has been great too. They must have seen me play before... because they requested a bunch of my songs. Yeah, "You Suck"... and, um, "Shut Up and Go Home."

Chandler: God, I feel so alive. I love being in the country! Also, got these great salt and pepper shakers... from the restaurant.
Ross: That's not cool.
Chandler: Dude, none of this is cool.
Ross: Look, Chandler, you have to find the line between stealing... and taking what the hotel owes you. For example: a hair dryer, no, no, no. But shampoos and conditioners, yes, yes, yes. Now, the salt shaker is off limits. Ah. But the salt...
Chandler: I wish I'd thought this through. I think I get what you mean, though. Like, the lamp is the hotel's... but the bulbs... Oh, you already got that.
Ross: Not my first time in a hotel, my friend.

Phoebe: My songs aren't good enough for your restaurant?
Monica: I didn't say they weren't good enough.
Phoebe: Then what's wrong with them? What, they don't go with your tiny portions of pretentious food?
Monica: Tiny portions?!
Phoebe: Yeah, well, um, "Excuse me. I ordered the smoked salmon appetizer, but I can't see it. I can't see it!"
Monica: Phoebe, it's not about quantity.
Phoebe: Well, it's not about quality.
Monica: Oh, really? You wanna talk about quality? Have you ever heard of a "key"? It's what some people sing in.
Phoebe: Well, at least all my songs don't taste like garlic. Yeah, there are other ingredients, Monica.

Monica: It's just you. I thought someone was swinging a bag of cats against the wall.
Phoebe: You'd better get back in that kitchen. The garlic's not gonna overuse itself.

—
+ Quotes on the IMDb

Alien Dinner Party

Resident Alien 2×8

Mayor Ben Hawthorne: Dr. Harry Vanderspeigle. Here's to another trip around the Sun, Dr. V!
Sheriff Mike Thompson: By the way, the break and enter was Ben's idea.
Mayor Ben Hawthorne: Ah, now, now. No breaking, just entering. The door was unlocked.
Deputy Liv Baker: Yeah, after you climbed through the window and unlocked it.
Mayor Ben Hawthorne: Out of respect for our wonderful friend...

Harry Vanderspeigle: I do not like having people at my house uninvited.
Asta Twelvetrees: Well, now you know how Earth felt when you got here.

Asta Twelvetrees: Just take that thing downstairs.
Harry Vanderspeigle: Only half of it is "thing." The other half is alien.

Harry Vanderspeigle: I do not understand why humans celebrate their births. Everyone who is alive has been born. It is not special. A birthday party is just a participation trophy.

Harry Vanderspeigle: Alien babies have a big appetite for high-calorie junky food.
Asta Twelvetrees: Uh-huh.
Harry Vanderspeigle: There's nothing more junky than a human.

Asta Twelvetrees: We have to get everyone out of here. Make yourself look sick... Oh, that's good. Yes. Good.
Harry Vanderspeigle: I have not done anything yet.
Asta Twelvetrees: Oh. Sorry. It's good, though.

Sheriff Mike Thompson: Shit, I ain't messin' with no damn rabies. You know 100% of people who have rabies go insane, but only 20% of insane people have rabies? That's a Internet fact.

—
+ Quotes on the IMDb
+ Soundtrack

The One with the Lottery

Friends 9×18

Ross: Seriously, you guys, I can't believe you're gonna spend $250 on the lottery. I mean, that's such a bunch of boo-hockey.
Chandler: .... I'll ask. "Boo-hockey"?
Ross: Oh, we think Emma's about to start talking... so we're trying to be careful about what words we use in front of her. So get ready to hear a lot of, uh, boo-hockey... gosh darn it and brother pucker.

Phoebe: Okay. Good. You guys were so scared. There is no way I was gonna dump this... Aah! I think I broke your bowl.

Announcer: ... And here we go. The Powerball is seven.
Monica: All right, check your numbers! Make me rich.

Steve: Chandler, hi. I'm sure you've heard we filled the three positions. We felt that with your maturity and experience... you wouldn't be happy being someone's assistant.
Chandler: I'd love to be somebody's assistant! Answering phones... getting coffee, I live for that stuff. And I'm not too mature. Farts, boobies, butt cracks!

—
+ Quotes on the IMDb

Spider-Man: No Way Home (2021)

Spider-Man: Far from Home (2019) <<

May Parker: With all due respect, and I mean that very insincerely, ...
MJ: Expect disappointment and you will never get disappointed.

Dr. Strange: Look, Parker, the problem is not Mysterio. It's you trying to live two different lives. And the longer you do that, the more dangerous it becomes.

Peter Parker: Listen, let's just focus on the good news, okay?
Dr. Strange: No, let's just focus on the bad news. As of now, you have detected zero multiversal trespassers, so get on your phones, scour the Internet, and... Scooby-Doo this shit.

MJ: I know a couple of magic words myself, starting with the word "please."
Dr. Strange: Please Scooby-Doo this shit.

Ned Leeds: I mean, you can take the guy out of the chair, but you can't take the chair out of the guy.

Peter Parker: Why?
Dr. Strange: Well, some of these guys are gonna die. Parker, it's their fate.
Peter Parker: Come on, Strange, have a heart.
Dr. Strange: In the grand calculus of the multiverse, their sacrifice means infinitely more than their lives. I'm sorry, kid. If they die, they die.

Max Dillon: You trust him?
Sandman: I don't trust anyone.

Sandman: How'd you end up like that anyway?
Max Dillon: Oh... the place where I worked at, they were experimenting with electricity created by living organisms, and then, uh... I fell into a vat of electric eels.
Sandman: You're kidding. I fell into a supercollider.
Max Dillon: Damn. Gotta be careful where you fall.

Green Goblin: I've watched you from deep behind Norman's cowardly eyes. Struggling to have everything you want while the world tries to make you choose... Gods don't have to choose. We take.

Peter Parker: Hi. Um, my name is Peter Parker, and I... would like a coffee, please.

Eddie Brock: Okay, I think I got this. You're saying that this whole place here, it's just tons of... superpeople.
And he has been saying it for hours.
Eddie Brock: All right, tell me again. I'm sorry, I'm an idiot. There was a billionaire, he had a tin suit and he could fly, right?... Okay, and there was a really angry green man.
Bartender: Hulk.
Eddie Brock: Hulk...
Venom: And you thought Lethal Protector was a shit name.
Eddie Brock: Yeah, because it is. Now tell me again about your purple alien that loves stones. 'Cause I'll tell you what, man, aliens, they do not love stones.
Venom: Eddie, don't start.
Eddie Brock: No, they do not love stones. Know what aliens love? Eating brains! Because that's what they do. All right?

—
+ Quotes on the IMDb
+ Soundtracks

>> Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness (2022)

Death on the Nile (2022)

Murder on the Orient Express (2017)

Captain Rens: You were right! You are too sharp to be a farmer, Poirot.

Hercule Poirot: Katherine, you should go.
Katherine: Do you have any idea how love works? When you love someone, you love them through all their moods and changes over time. Their worst qualities peak at nuisance. Their flaws become freckles. And as it happens... I love you.
Hercule Poirot: What about this?
Katherine: ...... Come here. Simple. You'll grow a moustache.

Hercule Poirot: I do not want seven. I want only the six. I cannot have, uh, the uneven number... Ah, now we have the even number. This is good.

Bouc: Well, if you want to hide, come and hide with us. In Assouan. We're on a whirlwind tour.
Hercule Poirot: Still the constant traveler.

Bouc: Mm. Sadly, no. Uncle sacked me off the train once he found out that I did nothing. I tried jobs. An office. I could manage the work, I just couldn't fathom mornings.

Hercule Poirot: But who is Euphemia?
Bouc: Well, you'll find out.
Hercule Poirot: A new young lady in the life of Bouc? A new name to me.
Bouc: Well, behind every kite-flying man, there is a woman.

Hercule Poirot: Ah, love. It is not safe.

Jackie de Bellefort: Love that fierce doesn't vanish. I love him. I love him madly, badly, at every minute. It's not something I can switch off. There's a reason the heart is the organ given to love, you know. If it stops to rest, we die.

Linnet Ridgeway: I don't feel safe here. Not me, not Simon, even with Jackie gone.
Hercule Poirot: But you are among friends.
Linnet Ridgeway: When you have money, no one is ever really your friend.

Bouc: You've, uh, taken quite a keen interest in Salome Otterbourne. I thought Poirot was impervious to love's fever.
Hercule Poirot: I was sick with it once. It left me with enough regret for a lifetime.

Bouc: Fascinating story!
Euphemia Bouc: It's bad enough to be married for one lifetime. To be side by side for eternity is inhumane.
Bouc: Why must you be so cynical, Mother? People build towers to love in song and stone as if cooing over a pair of dark eyes will save them from pain.
Euphemia Bouc: If anything, it will double it.

Hercule Poirot: After Katherine, I became whatever it is I am now. I was going to be a farmer...

Andrew Katchadourian: Who told you?
Hercule Poirot: I am Hercule Poirot. I do not need to be told. I have eyes and they see. A brain and it thinks. It now thinks somewhat poorly of you.

Marie Van Schuyler: I don't approve of this interrogation. I mean, who are you to question us?
Hercule Poirot: I am the working man. The skilled laborer, the hero of your own economic fairy tales.

Marie Van Schuyler: You accuse me now of murder?
Bouc: Oh, no, he accuses everyone of murder.
Hercule Poirot: It is a problem, I admit.

Salome Otterbourne: Monsieur Poirot, if I put a bullet in everyone who took a potshot at me for not keeping to my place, the world would be littered with dead white ladies.

Rosalie Otterbourne: I've had a chance to observe you. Wanna know what I make of your character?... He is obsessive, is vain, is smug, is lonely for a reason. A detestable, tiresome, bombastic, egocentric little freak.

Hercule Poirot: I am sorry you have become so wealthy.
Marie Van Schuyler: Ah, nothing I can't fix.

Salome Otterbourne: I wish I'd never got to see you work...

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Penguin Bloom (2020)

Sam Bloom: Never ask me that question in front of the boys again.
Cameron Bloom: What question?
Sam Bloom: How am I? I don't wanna have to lie to them.

Sam Bloom: What am I if I can't even be a mum?

Cameron Bloom: I've been reading up on magpies...
Sam Bloom: Oh yeah?
Cameron Bloom: Oh yeah. Turns out they mate for life.
Sam Bloom: Really?
Cameron Bloom: Totally monogamous. One and only. They find their soul mate, and game-- Game over. It's game over.

Cameron Bloom: We don't talk in what-ifs, Jan. We live our life.

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The One with the Memorial Service

Friends 9×17

Rachel: Joey, you're sure? I mean, I know how much you love him.
Joey: Rachel, let's be clear on this, okay? I do not love Huggsy. I like him a normal amount.
Rachel: All right. Well, Emma loves him.
Joey: Yeah. Well, why wouldn't she? He's a wonderful person.

Ross: I have sex with dinosaurs?!?!
Chandler: I believe I read that somewhere.
Ross: Not only is it not funny, it's physically impossible. Okay? Depending on the species, I'd have to have a 6-foot-long... It's not funny!
Chandler: I respectfully disagree.

Monica: Wait a second. Why would Ross tell everyone in your class... that you are "as gay as the day is long"?
Chandler: Because I told everyone he slept with dinosaurs.
Monica: Well, that's clearly a joke. This could easily be true.

Chandler: Would you get that, please? People have been calling to congratulate me all day.

Ross: I'm dead?!?!
Chandler: And so young.

Ross: Nobody cares that I'm dead?
Chandler: Oh, come on, you know that's not true.
Ross: What are you talking about? You get 60 responses... just for coming out of the closet. I didn't get one response, and I'm dead!
Chandler: Well, the gay community is a lot more vocal than the dead community.

Ross: Okay. Okay. I'm gonna go hide. This is so exciting. My first mourner!

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Escape from New York

Resident Alien 2×7

Harry Vanderspeigle: Well, I took some LSD on my tongue. And now I'm surrounded by horrible creatures. I just saw an alien take off its head, and there was a human inside! Do I have a human inside of me? How many licks does it take to get to the human?

Harry Vanderspeigle: Humans are gross. But... they have each other.

Harry Vanderspeigle: ...I will die without having a conversation in my beautiful language. I will be forced to talk to myself. %&*)(&(&*%$#^%(*&&*$
Asta Twelvetrees: I'd tell you to keep it down, but we're in New York. Weird is normal here, so...

Asta Twelvetrees: What. The hell. Is that?
Violinda Darvell: It's our baby.

D'Arcy Bloom: Maybe he changed his mind. You know, I change my mind all the time. Like, earlier, I was sure I was gonna have only one beer, and now I'm thinking I might have six.

Ellen: He's trying to fire you. ....
Dr. Smallwood: Is this true?
Mayor Ben Hawthorne: It's not... not true.
Dr. Smallwood: You're a sweet boy for not wanting to tell me that. You're not sweet at all. It even looked like you enjoyed it.
Ellen: I didn't... not enjoy it.

Ellen: Dr. Vanderspeigle is our only real candidate. Good doctor but not much to look at. He's a Patience six, which is a Denver four, which is a California one.
Mayor Ben Hawthorne: Not sure if any of that's legal to say.

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A Solo Peanut, a Social Butterfly and the Truth

Young Sheldon 5×17

Mandy: Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
Georgie: It ain't that big of a deal.
Mandy: I just slept with a 17-year-old!
Georgie: If you were a guy, you'd think that was cool.

Georgie: Come on, I'm the same guy I was five minutes ago.
Mandy: Yeah, a liar. You lied to me about your age.
Georgie: Yeah, and then I felt really bad about it, and I told you the truth. 'Cause you're more mature than me.

Mary: You keep saying you're okay. Are you?
Connie: I'm better than okay.
Mary: Great. Glad to hear it.
Connie: You know what it's like? You see these peanuts? Two of them stuck together in the shell. Trapped. And then, you look here at this one, all on its own. Solo. Happy.
Mary: So, you're a solo peanut?
Connie: Mm, damn straight.
Mary: As a matter of fact... Enjoy your freedom. Well, if you're happy, I'm happy.
Connie: I am. Maybe not as happy as this threesome going on here.

Meemaw: Did somebody find out how old you are?
Missy: Ooh, what does that mean?
Georgie: I don't want to talk about it.
Meemaw: What it means is, your brother over here has been going out with an older woman and lying about his age.
Mary: Georgie!
Georgie: It don't matter. I told her the truth, and she dumped me.
Sheldon: I can relate. A young lady brought chaos into my life as well today.

George: You're drunk, Sheldon has friends. This a crazy-ass dinner.

Dale: She say anything about me?
George: Please leave me out of this.
Dale: Oh, come on, we're friends, George, and I'm your boss.

Sheldon: Can I borrow one of your Sassy magazines?
Missy: I knew it! Okay, look, I'm cool with this, but do not tell Dad.
Sheldon: Tell him what?

--
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Acts of God

The Walking Dead 11×16

Eugene: Just so you know... you are the most remarkable human I have ever met in my heretofore uneventful life.

Max: I just can't stop thinking about what happens after we do this. This place pushes on people to keep things the same. I just worry they'll keep pushing till we all break.

Maggie: Hershel... Everything I've done... And everything I still do... is so that we have choices.

Negan: He doesn't exactly trust me, you know?
Maggie: But I'm starting to.

Maggie: Whatever else happens, and whatever else has happened, I will never forget that.
Negan: Wow... You have big balls, Maggie Rhee. I got you. And I got your boy.

Max: It's okay. That's fine. Always clumsy after one too many afternoon coffees, you know?
Sebastian: Yeah, it's, uh... poor man's drug. Caffeine.

—
On the IMDb

The One with the Boob Job

Friends 9×16

Chandler: No, we're not borrowing money.
Monica: Why not?
Chandler: Because we don't do that. We are Bings! If there's one thing my father taught me, it was... well, to always knock before going into the pool house. But the other thing was, never borrow money.
Monica: Wow, I had no idea you had this much pride.
Chandler: That's right, I do. I am your man. And I'm gonna get us through this situation... even if it means you working twice as hard.

Phoebe: I've always wanted to live with a guy... Pick up your socks! Put down the toilet seat! No, we are not having sex anymore... It's gonna be fun.

Mike: Oh, hey, I wanted to ask you about Monica's little "groomie" joke.
Phoebe: Well, I think the reason people laughed is that it's a play on the word "roomie."
Mike: No... I get the joke. Sophisticated as it was.

Chandler: Hey, Rach. There she is... My perfectly proportioned wife.
Rachel: Don't look at me. I never get his jokes.
Monica: Thank... you?
Chandler: No, no. Don't thank me. Thank you. Do you know there is not one thing that I would change about you? Not one single thing. And definitely not... two single things.
Monica: Okay, you're being weird. Do you want sex... or did you do something bad?

Chandler: Okay, um, you know the old classics like, you know, "You look nice"? They're still okay. But "you look nice" could mean that I'm saying, "Your face looks nice." I want to compliment your body. I mean, I wouldn't change it at all. And more specifically, I wouldn't want anything to get any bigger.
Monica: Okay. I mean... you wouldn't want any part of me to get any bigger, would you? Don't answer that!
Rachel: Just when you thought that dude couldn't get any weirder...

Rachel: Of course your body's gonna change. Your breasts are gonna get bigger... your ass is gonna get bigger... you're gonna lose bladder control. God, it's just such a magical time.

Monica: Chandler knows I borrowed the money.
Joey: Mm-hm. For your boob job.
Monica: Joe... It's over.
Joey: Okay, so I'm out $4000 and nobody's boobs are getting any bigger?

—
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Belfast (2021)

Buddy: Daddy, are you not gonna be a vigilante on our barricade?
Pa: No more talk about bloody barricades. That nonsense will stop soon enough.

Moira: They can just come up to you when you're not expecting it and ask you, "Are you Protestant or Catholic?" But it's a trick question, you see, because they don't tell you what they are. And what do you say then to not get a dig in the gob?
Buddy: "I'm a Catholic"?
Moira: Wrong. That's exactly what they think you will say. They think you're trying to bluff them. But you've to double bluff them.
Buddy: How?
Moira: You say, "I'm a Protestant."
Buddy: But I am a Protestant.
Moira: That's the point!

Billy: Look, things get out of hand pretty quick round these parts. Cash or commitment.

Moira: What have you got?.. You're joking me!
Buddy: It's all I could see.
Moira: Turkish Delight? Who the hell eats Turkish Delight? Do you eat Turkish Delight?
Buddy: No. I don't like it.
Moira: Nobody likes it.

Pa: Be good, Son. And if you can't be good?
Buddy: Be careful.
Pa: Be careful.

Ma: How could I leave Belfast?
Violet: I wouldn't worry about it. The Irish were born for leaving. Otherwise the rest of the world would have no pubs. It just needs half of us to stay, so that the other half can get sentimental about the ones that went. All the Irish need to survive is a phone, a Guinness and the sheet music to "Danny Boy."

Ma: You and me, we've known each other since we were toddlers. We've known this street and every street round it all our lives... and every man, woman and child that lives in every bloody house, whether we like it or not. I like it. And you say you have a wee garden for them boys? But here they can play wherever the hell they like, because everybody knows them, everybody likes them, and everybody looks after them.
     If we go over the water, them people's not gonna understand a word we say. And half of them, they'll take the hand out of us for sounding different. And the other half, they'll hate us, 'cause men here are killing their young sons on our streets. They'll think we don't give a shite. And you think they're gonna welcome us with open arms? What, and say, "Come on in. Well done for stealing the house off of us"?

Buddy: His work's giving my da a house in England now if he wants one. It's got a garden and everything, and two toilets, and they're both inside the house.
Pop: There's nothing wrong with an outside toilet, except on an aeroplane.

Buddy: My ma says if we went across the water, they wouldn't understand the way we talk.
Pop: That shouldn't be a problem, Son. I've been married to your granny for 50 years, I've never understood a word she's said. And if they can't understand you, then they're not listening, and that's their problem.

Buddy: What was the name of the place, Granny?
Granny: Shangri-La. That's what they called it.
Buddy: Did you ever go there?
Granny: There were no roads to Shangri-La from our part of Belfast.
Buddy: So will you go one day?

Pop: Get yourselves to the moon. London's only one small step for a man. Belfast will still be here when you get back.

Minister: "For now we see through a glass, darkly. For now I know in part, but then I shall know as also I am known. For when I was a child, I spake as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child: but then I became a man and I put away childish things." So do not say in grief that you are sorry he is gone, but rather say in thankfulness you are grateful he was here.

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