The One with the Boob Job

Friends 9×16

Chandler: No, we're not borrowing money.
Monica: Why not?
Chandler: Because we don't do that. We are Bings! If there's one thing my father taught me, it was... well, to always knock before going into the pool house. But the other thing was, never borrow money.
Monica: Wow, I had no idea you had this much pride.
Chandler: That's right, I do. I am your man. And I'm gonna get us through this situation... even if it means you working twice as hard.

Phoebe: I've always wanted to live with a guy... Pick up your socks! Put down the toilet seat! No, we are not having sex anymore... It's gonna be fun.

Mike: Oh, hey, I wanted to ask you about Monica's little "groomie" joke.
Phoebe: Well, I think the reason people laughed is that it's a play on the word "roomie."
Mike: No... I get the joke. Sophisticated as it was.

Chandler: Hey, Rach. There she is... My perfectly proportioned wife.
Rachel: Don't look at me. I never get his jokes.
Monica: Thank... you?
Chandler: No, no. Don't thank me. Thank you. Do you know there is not one thing that I would change about you? Not one single thing. And definitely not... two single things.
Monica: Okay, you're being weird. Do you want sex... or did you do something bad?

Chandler: Okay, um, you know the old classics like, you know, "You look nice"? They're still okay. But "you look nice" could mean that I'm saying, "Your face looks nice." I want to compliment your body. I mean, I wouldn't change it at all. And more specifically, I wouldn't want anything to get any bigger.
Monica: Okay. I mean... you wouldn't want any part of me to get any bigger, would you? Don't answer that!
Rachel: Just when you thought that dude couldn't get any weirder...

Rachel: Of course your body's gonna change. Your breasts are gonna get bigger... your ass is gonna get bigger... you're gonna lose bladder control. God, it's just such a magical time.

Monica: Chandler knows I borrowed the money.
Joey: Mm-hm. For your boob job.
Monica: Joe... It's over.
Joey: Okay, so I'm out $4000 and nobody's boobs are getting any bigger?

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