The One with the Birthing Video

Friends 8×15

Ross: Oh, Gunther, can I get a scone?
Gunther: You want anything?
Joey: You know what I want? I want a lot of things. I wanna be with the woman I love on Valentine's Day! I want her to love me back. And I want one moment of relief... from the gut-wrenching pain of knowing that's never gonna happen!
Gunther: We have red bagels.
Joey: Okay.

Chandler: Worst porn ever! Worst porn ever!

Monica: You wanna take a look?..
Chandler: Well... I'm not really in a sexy mood right now.
Monica: Hey, what's going on?
Chandler: Well, remember the first time you saw Jaws... how long it took to go back in the water?

Chandler: You don't know. You didn't see it.
Monica: Childbirth is a natural thing. It's beautiful.
Chandler: Oh, beautiful? Really? Huh, really? You think this is beautiful?
Monica: Oh, my God! No wonder my mother hates me!
Chandler: See, honey, there's...
Monica: Don't touch me!

Ross: What?
Mona: Joey cracks me up. "Yeah, have your ex-wife move in. That wouldn't be awkward at all." Heh.
Ross: Huh. Heh.
Mona: Hey, imagine, I go away for a few days... I come back and my boyfriend is living with some woman he got pregnant.

Joey: I broke the dog, Pheebs! I broke the dog!

Ross: I'm, uh, going to pick up Mona. What you got going on tonight?
Rachel: Oh, I've got big Valentine's plans. I've got Chinese food on the way, and the rest of your saltwater taffy.

Ross: Happy Valentine's Day!.. Or, something to remember me by.

Chandler: Oh, and we should warn you before you watch it. Don't watch it.
Rachel: Why, you saw it? Is it scary?
Monica: Let's just say it's ironic how footage of someone being born... can make you want to kill yourself.

Rachel: Why is that baby torturing that woman?
Chandler: Why have I seen this thing three times?
Monica: It's still beautiful... Aah! It's horrible!
Chandler: I know, I know!

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