An Expensive Glitch and a Goof-Off Room

Young Sheldon 5×10

Sheldon: I smell your perfume.

President Hagemeyer: So, what, pray tell, is today's problem?
Sheldon: I have a four-hour gap in my schedule.
President Hagemeyer: How is that a problem?
Sheldon: According to the Oxford English Dictionary, it's a matter or situation regarded as unwelcome or harmful and needing to be dealt with and overcome.

President Hagemeyer: So, you expect me to disrupt the schedule of hundreds of students for your convenience?
Sheldon: Finally, we're on the same page.

Sheldon: No one's living here?
President Hagemeyer: Well, we had an Indian exchange student, but he developed a taste for barbecue, so his parents made him go home.

Sheldon: It's like I always say, never underestimate the power of complaining.
Adult Sheldon: I've been testing that theory for decades, still works like gangbusters.

June: So, how's this all work?
Connie: You play, you lose, you go home smelling like cigarettes.
June: You just described my love life.

George: And remember, no parties..... That was a joke.
Sheldon: And now I know.

Mary: And you have a very nice life.
Missy: Yeah, yeah, loving parents, blah, blah, blah.

Meemaw: This has got to be a glitch. Go get a manual and-and-and look up "glitch."
Georgie: We have a manual?
Meemaw: Just find one!

Sheldon: Why was there a sock on your door?
Sam: It's like a signal.
Sheldon: A signal for what?
Sam: A signal that I should change the subject.

Sheldon: That's a bathroom.
Sam: Are you kidding me? I share one with, like, 30 other people.
Sheldon: That sounds yucky.
Sam: It is, Sheldon. It is very yucky. However yucky you think it is, it is yuckier.
Sheldon: Well, you're welcome to use mine. Just squat over the seat, don't sit.

Sheldon: Fair isn't everyone getting the same thing. Fair is everyone getting what they deserve.

Dr. Sturgis: Well, Sheldon, it's normal to care what others in your peer group think of you.
Sheldon: Why? It's not logical.

Dr. Sturgis: You see, humans have evolved as social animals, so your feeling hurt might be a deep evolutionary desire to cooperate with others to ensure your survival.
Sheldon: So, you're saying it makes sociobiological sense to want other people to like me?
Dr. Sturgis: Yes, and you may even get benefits from it. It's like on that show you enjoy, Star Track.
Sheldon: Trek.
Dr. Sturgis: Right.

Georgie: All this yelling can't be good for your blood pressure.
Meemaw: You're right. I think I'm just gonna step outside and have a cigarette.
Georgie: Smoking ain't any better.
Meemaw: Good! Perhaps the end is near.

Sheldon: How are you today?
Sam: Since when do you care?
Sheldon: 12:07 yesterday.

Sheldon: .... you may use my dorm room to study.
Sam: Wait, are you serious? That would be amazing.
Sheldon: Good. And does that make you feel more positive about me, less positive, or neutral?

Missy: Can we watch 90210?
George: What's that?
Missy: It's about kids who go to school in Beverly Hills.
George: If you want to see a show about Beverly Hills, we should watch Beverly Hillbillies. That's a show.
Missy: What's it about?
George: Eh... Imagine your meemaw moving to California.
Missy: I'd watch that.

June: Whoa, and the '70s are back! All we need are the Bee Gees and bell-bottoms, and it's Studio 54.
Georgie: I don't know what any of that means, but all right.

Georgie: Now, what's a Bee Gee?
June: It's a brother singing band. They did all the music for Saturday Night Fever.
Georgie: What's Saturday Night Fever?
June: Damn, I'm old.

Mary: We're worried that those couples are not going there to study...
Sheldon: But that's why I'm lending them the room.
Mary: And that is why we are concerned.
Sheldon: Are you saying they're using it as a goof-off room?
George: Yes! That's exactly what we're saying.
Sheldon: Well, let's drive over there right now and catch them in the act.
Mary: No!
George: L-Let's just let them finish... goofing off tonight, and we'll put a stop to it tomorrow.

Sheldon: Those dirty goof-offs...

Meemaw: Disco ball, my ass!

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