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The Crown 4×4

Queen Elizabeth II: Almost three years on, we have inflation at 12%, unemployment of three million, and rioting and civil unrest in several major cities.
Margaret Thatcher: It's true. But there isn't a magical system whereby you can just push a few buttons and twiddle a few knobs and everything will be all right. Of course I would like to reduce interest rates...

Queen Elizabeth II: All right, you first. Who's yours?
Prince Philip: Anne.
Queen Elizabeth II: You said that alarmingly quickly.
Prince Philip: Because it didn't require thought.
Queen Elizabeth II: Philip!
Prince Philip: And your favorite is...
Queen Elizabeth II: I don't know.
Prince Philip: Liar!
Queen Elizabeth II: It's true! I really don't know.
Prince Philip: Your lack of self-knowledge sometimes is breathtaking.
Queen Elizabeth II: On balance, I'd say that was an asset.
Prince Philip: Everyone knows who your favorite is.
Queen Elizabeth II: Do they?
Prince Philip: Yes.
Queen Elizabeth II: Well, who?... Go on... Philip! Oh, you can't just leave!
Prince Philip: Watch me.

Queen Elizabeth II: Martin. I'd like you to arrange for me to see my four children... In private, one at a time.
Martin Charteris: Of course. Um… any particular order?
Queen Elizabeth II: No, I don't think so. Important, I think, though, that each is unaware that the others have been summoned too.
Martin Charteris: Yes, ma'am.
Queen Elizabeth II: Uh… Martin, perhaps a short briefing document ahead of each meeting, focusing on each child's hobbies, interests, and so forth. One would hate to appear uninformed. Or cold or remotely… remote.

Margaret Thatcher: You mean to do nothing?
Charles Powell: Yes. And trust all will be well.
Margaret Thatcher: How will it be well if we do nothing? How will it possibly end up well if we do nothing?

Queen Elizabeth II: Isn't this heaven?
Princess Anne: If you say so.
Queen Elizabeth II: I do. Tucked away in the country, rain and mud and horses and dogs, children, privacy. I do envy you.

Princess Anne: ... And yet all she has to do is put on a frock, and she's all over all the front pages, and everyone's falling over in shock at how wonderful she is.
Queen Elizabeth II: Who?
Princess Anne: Her.
Queen Elizabeth II: Diana.
Princess Anne: The only other young female in the family, yes, against whom I am now always compared. Lovely her, dumpy me. Smiling her, grumpy me. Charming her, awful me.

Queen Elizabeth II: You have so much to make you happy...
Princess Anne: Then how come none of it does?
Queen Elizabeth II: It will again if you're patient.
Princess Anne: Is that it? Is that the advice? "Stick it out, grin and bear it. Persevere"?
Queen Elizabeth II: Well, these things usually pass if you have the patience to wait.

Margaret Thatcher: Now, of course, you are all used to thinking of me as prime minister. But what the last few days has shown me very clearly is that, above all else, I am a mother.

Queen Elizabeth II: How did you get away with that?
Prince Andrew: What, the chopper? I told them the truth. That I'd been summoned on a matter of national importance by the commander in chief of the Armed Forces.
Queen Elizabeth II: It's a mother-and-son lunch. Hardly a matter of national importance.
Prince Andrew: You're the Queen, and I'm second in line to the throne. We break wind, it's a matter of national importance.

Queen Elizabeth II: Are you sure it was even legal?
Prince Andrew: Who cares?
Queen Elizabeth II: It might come as a shock to you to know that I care.
Prince Andrew: The point is, it's art, which means it's perfectly appropriate for a future Duchess of…
Queen Elizabeth II: York.
Prince Andrew: York?
Queen Elizabeth II: Yes, York. The idea just came to me. It's the dukedom that traditionally goes to the second eldest and has long military associations.
Prince Andrew: As in "the Grand Old Duke of…"
Queen Elizabeth II: Exactly.
Prince Andrew: Didn't the previous two Dukes of York also both become king?
Queen Elizabeth II: Yes, due to the unexpected death or abdication of their elder brothers. In your case, not only would Charles have to die, you'd have to murder any sons he had.
Prince Andrew: The Duke of York has history in that department too. Richard III.
Queen Elizabeth II: Oh, yes! You are clever.
Prince Andrew: This salmon is delicious.
Queen Elizabeth II: Isn't it?

Prince Andrew: I just wanted to let you know if the situation were to escalate, I'd insist on going. And I'd want your assurance the Crown would not stand between me and frontline service.
Queen Elizabeth II: I wouldn't dream of it.
Prince Andrew: Good!
Queen Elizabeth II: We never shirk action in this family. Ever. We're no different to anyone else. That's what I spend my life telling everyone.

Sir Geoffrey Howe: Oh, that's absurd!
Margaret Thatcher: Why?
Sir Geoffrey Howe: It's 8,000 miles away. It would take any naval vessel three weeks to get there. By that time, the Falkland Islands will be Argentine.
Margaret Thatcher: Then I say we retake them.
Sir Geoffrey Howe: It's impossible.
Margaret Thatcher: Is it impossible, Admiral? Do you think we could?
Admiral Leach: I do, Prime Minister.
Margaret Thatcher: Then we must.
Sir Geoffrey Howe: But the cost alone… Sending 30,000 military personnel to the South Atlantic on the back of a recession where output is still low and unemployment breathtakingly high… We must consider public opinion. This government… This administration is currently…
Margaret Thatcher: Go on, Geoffrey. Say it.
Sir Geoffrey Howe: Unloved. Unpopular. We will never survive an unnecessary and unaffordable war.
Margaret Thatcher: And I say we will not survive not going to war.

Margaret Thatcher: There is a limit to what one can do if people are themselves limited.

Queen Elizabeth II: So what's yours?
Prince Charles: That eventually the house, the land, and the garden should reflect who I really am and what I'm all about.
Queen Elizabeth II: So the big idea is you.
Prince Charles: So everything will be done organically. No chemicals or pesticides. There'll be no straight lines, no manicuring, nothing too neat or uniform. A certain wild unconventionality about it.
Queen Elizabeth II: Is that you too?
Prince Charles: Well, it's anyone of any interest, isn't it?
Queen Elizabeth II: Um… Who'd obey rules? Who'd be conventional?
Prince Charles: Don't you hate it when gardeners impose straight lines everywhere? Nature abhors a straight line, after all.
Queen Elizabeth II: That pool looks like it's going to have straight lines.
Prince Charles: Well, yes, but that's a pool.
Queen Elizabeth II: Is that going to be a tennis court? Doesn't look particularly organic either.
Prince Charles: Mummy.
Queen Elizabeth II: Sorry. No, it's lovely.
Prince Charles: I'm glad you like it. I really think I could be happy here. It's brought something out in me. My own little Shangri-La or Xanadu...

Queen Elizabeth the Queen Mother: What's the matter, darling?
Queen Elizabeth II: Drink.
Princess Margaret: Is that a question or an order?
Queen Elizabeth II: More of a cry for help, I think.

Queen Elizabeth II: The conclusion I have come to is that it's our children that are lost, not the prime minister's. Each in their own deserts.
Prince Philip: Anne's not lost.
Queen Elizabeth II: Her marriage is.
Prince Philip: All right. Edward's not lost.
Queen Elizabeth II: I disagree. He seems entirely lost, and bullied, and vengeful.
Prince Philip: I'll concede that Charles is lost… but he always has been.
Queen Elizabeth II: And as for Andrew…
Prince Philip: Your favorite?
Queen Elizabeth II: I was shocked. If he doesn't change… What does that say about us as parents? I spoke to Mummy about it.
Prince Philip: Ah. The oracle. What did she say?
Queen Elizabeth II: She said that I must not blame myself. I'm already mother to the nation.
Prince Philip: Well, she's right.

Prince Philip: Look at me. You must stop this nonsense. You are a perfectly good mother. And the children are adults now, you know? It's their responsibility to sort themselves out.
Queen Elizabeth II: If they sort themselves out.
Prince Philip: Well, they will. Eventually. And… in the meantime, it is your job to...
Queen Elizabeth II: Stick around, stay alive, and keep breathing.
Prince Philip: Precisely. For all our sakes.

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