East/West

Fargo 4×9

Aldo: He-he came looking for some hardware... Uh, rifles, pistols... Said he was hitting the road, he had to kill some people i-in Kansas.
Willy: Kansas is a state.
Aldo: Like I said, Liberty or-or Liberal.

Aldo: You boys really think you can run things?
Willy: White man called my daddy "boy" once. He ended up with wooden teeth, just like George Washington.
Aldo: Yeah, yeah. Personally... I'm all for you coloreds breaking even. I mean, why should the bosses get all the fat when we're the ones down in the mud scrounging for dimes?
Willy: Oh. So you're one of us now?
Aldo: No, I'm not saying that. Just... Say there's a turtle.
Willy: Turtle?
Aldo: Mm, king turtle. He rules over everything he sees. Except he's a turtle, so he's real low to the ground.
Willy: I'm gonna put you back in the trunk...
Aldo: No, no. Hear me out. So, this king turtle, he calls two of his guys and he tells them to climb on top of each other, you know, like a ladder. And he climbs on their backs. So now he can see further but still just, like, 50 feet. So he calls even more turtles. And one by one, they get on top of each other. And up he goes. Till all the turtles are in a pile. And old king turtle... Oh, he can see for miles. Except... the guys on the bottom... are getting crushed. And I'm saying...

Satchel Cannon: What's that smell?
Rabbi Milligan: Fresh air.

Ina Botkins: Plymouth Rock or Sutter's Mill?
Rabbi Milligan: What?
Ina Botkins: Things work a specific way around here, so I got to figure out where to put you. Plymouth Rock or Sutter's Mill?
Rabbi Milligan: Well, that's in California, yeah?
Ina Botkins: McCarthy or Eisenhower?
Rabbi Milligan: Oh, we don't follow politics.
Ina Botkins: Eisenhower it is. Uh, lastly... Old Testament or New?
Rabbi Milligan: Which is the one where you get to be born again?
Ina Botkins: That'd be the New. West side it is.

Rabbi Milligan: Why east or west?
Ina Botkins: Why any one thing or the other? Just is the way it is.

Rabbi Milligan: If you can't run, just do like we practiced. Thigh, stomach, chest.

Rabbi Milligan: Remember, if I don't come back, I'm dead or in jail.

Hunk Swindell: Ask me a question.
Satchel Cannon: What?
Hunk Swindell: Dale Carnegie. How to Win Friends and Influence People. "Six Ways to Make People Like You." Number one: become genuinely interested in other people. So ask me a question.
Satchel Cannon: Um... you got any food?
Hunk Swindell: Make 'em laugh. Yeah, that's rule number nine. Hard to dislike a man what's got a funny bone.

Hunk Swindell: Did you know that in the original Goldilocks, it was witches, not bears? In any case, ... think about this poor girl, no home of her own, just wandering the woods. ... Goldilocks is the classic example of an outsider in search of himself. If you think about it, the story's got no ending. I mean, the bears... They get justice... Chasing an intruder out of their home, but for the girl? Well, she's back out in the cold. No family, no home. Doesn't fit in anywhere.

Rabbi Milligan: The future is what?
Smoking Man: How's that?
Rabbi Milligan: What's it gonna say?
Smoking Man: Wait till it's finished. Then you'll see.
Rabbi Milligan: Well... finish the damn thing already.
Smoking Man: Moment I finish it, I'm out of a job. Plus, what do you care? It's just a sign.
Rabbi Milligan: It's the principle, making people live with uncertainty. It ain't right.
Smoking Man: Send a letter to your congressman, you're so irate.

Beachwood Indiana: I got a wife.
Haskell Indiana: I... I ain't married yet. Who's gonna feed the dogs?

Police Officer: Well... you want my advice, you gonna travel with a colored kid in a town like this... just keep him out of sight.

Rabbi Milligan: What the heck does that even mean?
Smoking Man: Got me... Could be a statement as to the underlying unreliability of time. Or a testimony along the lines of "seize the day." They don't pay me to write 'em, just slap 'em up. Which I did. And now it's done. And I find myself once more at a crossroads, unemployed. So I... suppose for me, the future I once feared has arrived, as predicted by this very billboard.

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