Rabbits

The Flight Attendant 1×2

Cassie: Oh, I mean, come on, guys. It is shocking, but people get murdered every day, so... Sorry, I don't... that's awful. I don't know why I said that.

Cassie: Okay, I have to ask you a really embarrassing question... What is a hedge fund?

Van: How's 10:00 a.m. tomorrow? Oh, if you've retained counsel, feel free to bring them.
Cassie: Was I supposed to retain counsel?
Van: Perfect answer. Looking forward to it.

Cassie: Honestly, if that was me in the photo, you know what? Then I guess my life would be freefalling down an insane pit of traumatic shit. So I guess I go out to a very, very loud place to drown out all the crazy stuff that's going on in my head, and you can bet that it would feel fucking crazy! But... It's not me in the picture!

Cassie: I need to shut my brain off for a few hours, you know?

Kim: It's nice to see you again, Ms. Bowden. I'm glad you could make it in.
Cassie: Yeah. Yeah, my dad always said, "You should be the fix, not the hitch."
Kim: See, I appreciate that wisdom.
Cassie: He also hated the police, so it's probably...

Van: Well, someone seems to like my aggressive attitude and tactics, because I've been here half as long as you, and we have the same job.
Kim: Is that right?
Van: Not to put too fine a point on it, but yes, I think that's right, ....
Kim: Okay, real talk?
Van: Always.
Kim: I like you, Van, but you have to know that you fit the FBI's male, pale, and Yale culture to a tee. I mean, hell, you probably had a lacrosse scholarship. I mean... And that's all fine for you, but I am a Black woman in a job that can still feel very much like a boys' club. So even though I served in the Navy, even though I have an outstanding tenure as a federal agent, I could never get away with the kind of brash bullshit that you don't even think twice about, because you don't have to think twice about it. So tell me one more time how your attitude is why we have the same job.
Van: ..... I hear you.
Kim: Good.

—
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Ice Age

Love, Death & Robots 1×16

Gail: Can you believe the landlord left that funky refrigerator in here?
Rob: You know, these old-timey fridges, they're actually, like, really smart. In modern refrigerators, they don't have one of these, you know. The motor's underneath... so the hot air rises up into the fridge and has to be pumped out by the same motor that produced it. I mean, it's, like, crazy.

Gail: Oh, my God.
Rob: Holy shit! There's a lost civilization in our refrigerator.

Rob: I wonder if we're their gods?
Mike: Who are these two douchebags starin' at us all day?
Sam: I don't know. I'm tired of looking at that broccoli in her teeth.
Gail: Yeah, I doubt it.

Rob: Tactical nukes are going off in our refrigerator and you want me to calm down?

Rob: It's been over an hour. Maybe they've had a chance to rebuild...

Rob: Huh.
Gail: Yeah.

—
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Fagan

The Crown 4×5

Queen Elizabeth II: The prime minister came to see me today.
Prince Philip: I hope you rolled out the red carpet.
Queen Elizabeth II: Why would I do that?
Prince Philip: Everyone was against us going to the Falklands, but she believed we could pull it off, and now victory's within sight. Her victory. She's finally doing what we've been waiting years for someone to do.
Queen Elizabeth II: Which is?
Prince Philip: Lead this country firmly and decisively after years of incompetence and mismanagement.

Queen Elizabeth II: Who are you?
Michael Fagan: My name is Michael.
Queen Elizabeth II: Out! Get out!
Michael Fagan: You have nothing to fear from me.
Queen Elizabeth II: There is an armed policeman outside this door.
Michael Fagan: No, there isn't.

Queen Elizabeth II: What do you want? If it's money...
Michael Fagan: I don't want money. I don't want anything. I just wanna talk to you, that's all, to tell you what's going on in the country. 'Cause either you don't know, or you don't care.
Queen Elizabeth II: Of course I care. I care very deeply indeed. What a thing to say.

Michael Fagan: Just… gimme a minute, will ya? I'll sort myself out, I'll say what I gotta say, and then I'll go! You don't have a cigarette handy, do ya?
Queen Elizabeth II: No. Filthy habit.
Michael Fagan: I know, I know.

Michael Fagan: I just thought it might be good for you to meet someone normal who can tell it to you, you know, as it is.
Queen Elizabeth II: I meet normal people all the time.
Michael Fagan: No, you don't. Everyone you meet's on best behavior. Bowing and scraping. That's not normal.
Queen Elizabeth II: And this is normal?
Michael Fagan: It could be, if I ever calm down.

Michael Fagan: The richest woman in the world, but look, it's not even electric!
Queen Elizabeth II: What?
Michael Fagan: Your toothbrush. That's the thing about this place. It's even posher than you'd think and yet more rundown.
Queen Elizabeth II: Rundown?
Michael Fagan: Oh yeah. Corridors and state rooms? Shocking. Chipped paint, peeling wallpaper, stains. Decorator. Can't help noticing.
Queen Elizabeth II: Is that what you do?
Michael Fagan: Painter-decorator. You should hire me. You might need a glazier too. I broke a window this time.

Queen Elizabeth II: What is the matter with you? This is private property.
Michael Fagan: No, it's not. It's state property.
Queen Elizabeth II: Either way, you're trespassing.
Michael Fagan: Which isn't a crime. Not if I don't steal anything.
Queen Elizabeth II: You stole a bottle of wine last time.
Michael Fagan: Only to work up the courage to speak to you.

Michael Fagan: I've tried everything else. Writing letters, speaking to my MP. Fat lot of good any of that did. Mirage of democracy. So I've come to you, the head of state. You're my last resort. Someone who can actually do something.
Queen Elizabeth II: What is it you'd like me to do?
Michael Fagan: Save us all from her.
Queen Elizabeth II: Who?
Michael Fagan: Thatcher. She's destroying the country.

Michael Fagan: We've got more than three million unemployed. More than at any time since the Great Depression. Doesn't that bother you?
Queen Elizabeth II: Yes, it bothers me greatly. But there's nothing I can do about it. When you've been in my position as long as I have, you see how quickly and how often a nation's fortunes can change. Joblessness, recession, crises, war. All these things have a way of correcting themselves. Countries bounce back. People do. Because they simply have to.
Michael Fagan: That's what I thought. That I'd bounce back... And then I didn't. First the work dried up, then my confidence dried up. Then… the love in my wife's eyes dried up. And then you begin to wonder, you know, where's it gone?

Michael Fagan: You may think you're off the hook, but she's got her eye on your job, too. You'll be out of work soon.
Queen Elizabeth II: Let me assure you, Mrs. Thatcher is an all-too-committed monarchist.
Michael Fagan: She has an appetite for power which is presidential, and in this country, a president and a head of state cannot coexist. Mark my words, she's put us out of work. She's quietly putting you out of work.

Queen Elizabeth II: Is there anything else you'd like to say to me?
Michael Fagan: No. Thank you.
Queen Elizabeth II: I do hope they don't make things too difficult for you in light of this.
Michael Fagan: Thank you. Well, goodbye.

Queen Elizabeth II: I shall bear in mind what you've said. Now perhaps that cup of tea.

Queen Elizabeth II: While he may be a troubled soul, I don't think he's entirely to blame for his troubles, being a victim of unemployment, which is now more than twice what it was when you came into office just three years ago.
Margaret Thatcher: If unemployment is temporarily high, ma'am, then it is a necessary side effect of the medicine we are administering to the British economy.
Queen Elizabeth II: Shouldn't we be careful that this medicine, like some dreadful chemotherapy, doesn't kill the very patient it is intended to heal?

Queen Elizabeth II: If people like Mr. Fagan are struggling, do we not have a collective duty to help them? What of our moral economy?
Margaret Thatcher: If we are to turn this country around… we really must abandon outdated and misguided notions of collective duty. There are individual men and women, and there are families. Self-interested people who are trying to better themselves. That is the engine that fires a nation.

Margaret Thatcher: My father didn't have the state to rely on should his business fail. It was the risk of ruin and his duty to his family that drove him to succeed.
Queen Elizabeth II: Perhaps not everyone is as remarkable as your father.
Margaret Thatcher: Oh, you see, that is where you and I differ. I say they have it within them to be.

Margaret Thatcher: Now, if you will excuse me, I really must go.
Queen Elizabeth II: Where to?
Margaret Thatcher: To the victory parade at the City of London.
Queen Elizabeth II: A victory parade?
Margaret Thatcher: Yes, ma'am. We have just won a war.

Prince Philip: Well, she's trying to protect you.
Queen Elizabeth II: From what?
Prince Philip: From lunatics.
Queen Elizabeth II: Normal people. My subjects.
Prince Philip: Come on. That man was clearly a lunatic. And a fool.
Queen Elizabeth II: Yes, but in the best sense, like Lear's fool.
Prince Philip: Don't get all… Shakespearean with me.

—
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Мишель Уэльбек — Серотонин (4/4)

<< Ранее

&  У меня сложилось впечатление, что за этим лесом совсем не следят, – тут все заросло лианами и растениями-паразитами, что не может не препятствовать росту деревьев; ошибочно считать, что природа, предоставленная самой себе, породит на свет великолепные высокоствольные леса с мощными статными деревьями, которые порой уподобляли соборам и испытывали к ним поистине религиозные чувства пантеистического толка; природа, предоставленная самой себе, не производит, в общем, ничего, кроме бесформенного, хаотичного месива из разнообразных растений, как правило довольно уродливых...

&  Скорее всего, подумал я, будь она у себя, я бы не решился сказать ей «прощай навсегда». Прощай навсегда? Это я серьезно? Да, серьезно, в конце концов, я видел, как умирают люди, я сам скоро умру, мы всю жизнь, если только она не выдастся благословенно краткой, то и дело прощаемся навсегда, практически каждый день.

&  Бывают моменты в жизни, когда чувство стыда пасует, на него просто не хватает сил.

&  Что вообще мы все, вместе взятые, можем поделать с чем бы то ни было?

&  Все зависит, как и многое в этом мире, от нашего взгляда на секс.

&  ...мы же еще молоды, у нас вся жизнь впереди. А теперь, оглядываясь назад, я понимал, что жизнь кончилась, проскользнула мимо, не особенно давая о себе знать, а потом и вовсе вышла из игры, деликатно и элегантно, и даже мягко, она просто-напросто отвернулась от нас; ну, правда, при более близком рассмотрении наша жизнь оказалась отнюдь не такой уж и длинной.

&  А вот память на даты меня подводит, даты, собственно, и не важны, все, что случилось, случилось навечно, теперь-то я это знал, только это была закрытая, недоступная вечность.

&  Маленькая белая таблетка овальной формы с насечкой посередине.
     Она ничего не создает, не видоизменяет; она интерпретирует. Все окончательное делает преходящим, неотвратимое – случайным. Она дает жизни новое толкование, обедненное, искусственное, слегка деревянное. Счастья она не приносит ни в какой форме, ни даже настоящего облегчения, ее смысл заключается в другом: превратив жизнь в последовательность механических действий, она просто помогает обманываться. А стало быть, и выживать или хотя бы не умирать – какое-то время.

&  На самом деле Бог заботится о нас, думает о нас каждое мгновение и порой дает очень точные указания. Все эти внезапные порывы любви, от которых теснит грудь и перехватывает дыхание, озарения и восторги – совершенно необъяснимые, если исходить из нашей биологической природы, нашего удела обычных приматов, – суть предельно ясные знаки.
     Сегодня я понимаю точку зрения Христа, его постоянное возмущение ожесточением сердец: людям даны все знаки, но они не принимают их в расчет. Неужели правда я еще и жизнь должен отдать за этих несчастных? Неужели правда нельзя без таких наглядных аргументов?

  ... Похоже на то.”

The Bridge #1.1

Bron/Broen 1×1

— The power is out. The power is out on the bridge.

Saga: Is she in Sweden or Denmark?
Martin: I don't know.
Saga: She is from Sweden and a Swede brought her here. I have the lead.

Saga: Saga Norйn, here. I met you on the bridge. Were you asleep?
Martin: It's half past three. Usually I lie down dozing about that time.

Saga: It'd come quicker through e-mail.
Martin: But this is more fun.

Martin: If the other half of Monique Brammer appears to be... both you and me will take the lead in this matter.
Saga: Then you have register first at the reception.

Saga: Why can't you sit down?
Martin: Because I have pain down here... I was sterilized yesterday. I have five children by three women. So it is enough. Do you have children?
Saga: Why should I have?
Martin: What an original question.
Saga: I know a lot who had to ask it. Not you. You are undoubtedly a great dad.

Veronika: You don't even know me. Why are you doing this?
Sebastian: Because I can.

Saga: I've read many of your pieces. You're not religious. You're an atheist, right?.. Then that's just. Your body won't register the pain.
Daniel: Are you sure?

— Sorry for the drama. It is so difficult to drown the noise of the media. I suppose now I have your full attention... Our place on earth can be so beautiful, but only if we solve our problems. I point to five problems. The women on the bridge are therefore only "the beginning". This is an interesting time for all of us...

—
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The One with Ross's Thing

Friends 3×23

Joey: Hey, wouldn't it be cool if our duck and our chick had a little baby? We could call it Chuck...
Chandler: Or Dick.

Ross: Well, what is it? Is it a mole?
Chandler: No, it's too wrinkly to be a mole.
Ross: Ew. Is it...? What, a pimple?
Chandler: No, it's... fancier than a pimple.

Joey: So, Pheebs, do they know about each other?
Phoebe: Does a dog's lips move when he reads?

Monica: Well, that's it. People never say, "We need to talk," unless it's something bad.

Dr. Rhodes: Take your shirt off and let's see what we're dealing with here... What are you doing?
Ross: Just showing you my run-of-the-mill, slice-it-right-off third nipple.
Dr. Rhodes: Well, that's not a third nipple.
Ross: Oh?
Dr. Rhodes: First of all, it's on your ass.

Phoebe: I'm telling you, if you wanna take care of that thing, go see my herbal guy.
Ross: Thank you, but I wanna remove it, Pheebs. I don't wanna make it savory.

Phoebe: Okay, so Jason is sensitive. But now, so is Vince. Plus Vince has the body. You know? So... It's really just about the math.

Guru Saj: Aha. As I suspected, it's a kundus.
Ross: What's a "kundus"?
Guru Saj: I don't know. What's a kundus with you?

Pete: Monica, I want you there in the front row when I win. I want you close enough to smell the blood. What do you think?
Monica: My parents will be so happy.

Chandler: He's got a really bad cough, and our vet, he can't do anything about it. Is there something you can do?
Guru Saj: Hmm. Let me see... Do you think you could get him to eat a bat?

—
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Мишель Уэльбек — Серотонин (3/4)

<< Ранее

&  ...бракоразводный процесс – единственный действенный способ положить конец любви (если, разумеется, считать, что конец любви – это спасение).

&  Утратив всякие желания и смысл жизни (впрочем, может быть, эти термины тождественны? Сложно сказать, у меня не выработалось четкого мнения по этому поводу), я удерживал свое отчаяние на вполне приемлемом уровне, с отчаянием жить можно, большинство людей так и живет, лишь время от времени задумываясь, не позволить ли себе хоть какой-то глоток надежды, но, задавшись этим вопросом, они отвечают на него отрицательно. И тем не менее они цепляются за жизнь, очень трогательное зрелище.

&  Как правило, ничего никогда не происходит, но иногда что-то все-таки происходит, и это что-то обычно застает всех врасплох. Так что немного потренироваться в стрельбе мне не повредит, что бы там ни было.

&  Эмерик ждал, уставившись мне прямо в глаза искренним и простодушным взглядом, и я заговорил, не до конца осознавая, что именно я произношу, мне чудилось, что я скольжу по наклонной плоскости, ощущение было ошеломляющее и тошнотворное, как всякий раз, когда ныряешь в реальность, в то же время это не так уж часто и случается в жизни.

&  Люди никогда не слушают советов, а если и просят дать совет, то только затем, чтобы ему не последовать и просто доказать себе устами постороннего, что их закрутила губительная, смертоносная спираль, а все эти советчики просто играют роль хора из греческой трагедии, подтверждающего герою, что он ступил на путь разрушения и хаоса.

&  Мое сердце скрутило в мучительном спазме, воспоминания хлынули непрерывным потоком, нас убивает не будущее, а прошлое, оно возвращается, терзает, точит и в конце концов и правда убивает.

&  Ничто так не утешает нас, как осознание того, что, кроме наших собственных драм, существуют и другие драмы, обошедшие нас стороной.

Окончание >>

The Flight Attendant

The Flight Attendant 1×1

Cassie: I... I gotta shower.
Ethan: Okay.
Cassie: No, no, no. Not in a fun way.

Alex: You know, these long flights they can get a little tedious.
Cassie: You know, that might have something to do with your very depressing reading material. I mean, "Crime and Punishment"?
Alex: This book's amazing.
Cassie: Okay. Tell me how it works out for any of the women in that book. I just am more of a "Doctor Zhivago" kind of girl.
Alex: Really? ... Well, that book's messy.
Cassie: What's wrong with messy?

Megan: What is your obsession with rescuing every single animal on this planet?

Alex: Okay. Well, Bangkok can be really magical. Will you think about it?

Cassie: I don't need a man to show me the magic of Bangkok.

Cassie: Mmm. Vodka. No!

Ani: What city?... Bangkok. Oh, speaking of getting arrested in foreign countries, do not get arrested there. The laws are like Byzantine.

Cassie: Okay. You made it on the plane. Get to Seoul, back to New York. And then, you're free. All right? Because you did nothing wrong.

Cassie: I did not kill you. Okay? I am not that kind of drunk. I am... I am public nudity yelling in the subway kind of drunk, okay?

Alex: Being a flight attendant seems like fun.
Cassie: It is. .... It is fun. You know, I get to see all these beautiful places and I don't know, look at passengers right in the eye and say the word trash. It's great.

Kim: I got a pal at CIA who says flight attendants are the most likely to be foreign assets, because of the unfettered travel.

Megan: Cassie? Yes. I believe that Cassie did take care of him. I mean, not take... took care him. She dealt with him more. Yes, yes.

Megan: Yes, she's my best friend... No. I... I don't know where she went after we landed. So um, you know, that's... basically, that's none of my business. So... but... All right. Listen.....

Cassie: Who was that woman?

—
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Lucky 13

Love, Death & Robots 1×13

Lt A.Colby 'Cutter': Then there was the matter of her serial number: 13-02313. It not only started and ended in 13, the digits totaled 13. Pilots are a superstitious bunch. Lucky me.

Lt A.Colby 'Cutter': I'm not the superstitious type, Jack. It's just a machine.
Chief Warrant Officer Jack Lee 'Jacko': Well, you're wrong there, ma'am. Ships have personalities. None of them are just machines. Thirteen in particular.

—
On the IMDb

Мишель Уэльбек — Серотонин (2/4)

<< Начало

&  Человеческое сообщество еще никогда не строилось на адекватной оплате труда, и даже коммунистическое общество будущего не собиралось зиждиться на этой основе, принцип распределения благ был сведен Марксом к совершенно бессмысленной формуле «каждому по потребностям», которая стала бы неисчерпаемым источником всяческих дрязг и склок, если, не приведи господь, ее кто-нибудь попытался бы применить на практике, но, к счастью, этого так и не случилось, в коммунистических странах, как и во всех остальных, деньги идут к деньгам, у кого деньги, у того и власть, таково последнее слово общественного устройства.

&  Студенческие годы – это единственный счастливый период жизни, когда кажется, что все дороги открыты, что нет ничего невозможного, а потом взрослая жизнь и работа оборачиваются медленно, но верно засасывающим тебя болотом; наверняка именно по этой причине юношеская дружба, возникшая в студенческие годы – и, откровенно говоря, единственная настоящая дружба, – не выдерживает испытания взрослой жизнью, мы пытаемся избегать встреч с друзьями юности, не желая сталкиваться со свидетелями своих обманутых надежд и лишний раз убеждаться в собственном крахе.

&  Мужчины в принципе не умеют жить, им не удается быть с жизнью накоротке, они никогда не чувствуют себя в ней вольготно, поэтому последовательно осуществляют какие-то свои проекты, более или менее амбициозные, более или менее грандиозные, кто как, но обычно, потерпев поражение, заключают, что лучше было бы просто наслаждаться жизнью, и тут выясняется, что время упущено.

&  Общество – это устройство для уничтожения любви.

&  В прошлое погружаешься постепенно, но, начав в него погружаться, кажется, что увязаешь в нем с головой, да так, что краев не видно.

&  В последнее время я стал бояться ночей, когда мой разум обретал свободу передвижения, потому что разум мой сознавал, что отныне мое существование стремится к смерти, и не упускал возможности мне об этом напомнить.

&  Мало того что люди мучают друг друга, так еще они не отличаются в этом особой оригинальностью.

Далее >>

Fatman (2020)

Ruth: You have fun shooting the trash.
Chris: Yes, ma'am.

Skinny Man: What do you think your childhood dream is worth?...

Herman: Merry Christmas, Chris.
Chris: Ah, schoolkids are lighting their uncles on fire and throwing bowling balls off of bridges. Nothing too merry about that.

Sandy: Not in your usual chipper mood today. Went a whole two seconds and I haven't heard anything about the decline of society or the reckless youth in America.
Chris: I guess I'm just having a good day.
Sandy: Wishin' and waitin' isn't gonna change what's inside.

Chris: I bid on everything from mainframes to Pez dispensers. Everybody's outsourcing. They got six-year-olds pulling 12-hour shifts in bare feet for two sticks of bubble gum. It's heartbreaking.

Billy Wenan: You just messed up big time, fat man!

Captain Jacobs: Your workers sure have healthy appetites... You know, I can't help but think the smallness and discoloration is a direct result of an inadequate diet.
7: Inadequate? Please elaborate.
Captain Jacobs: Well, I think what you need is some... protein, vegetables, fiber. I bet if we gave some real food to these... people, they would shoot up like bean stalks.
7: Captain, we have discovered the most efficient and productive way to eat is simple carbs and sugars six times a day.
Captain Jacobs: But that's unnatural. The body needs four food groups, regular exercise, a minimum of six hours of sleep.
7: Oh, every elf takes a 20-minute nap every eight hours. That keeps our bodies fresh and allows us to work on a 24-hour rotation.
Captain Jacobs: How long can you keep that up?
7: Indefinitely. It's why elves live much longer than humans.
Captain Jacobs: And Chris? He does the same?
7: No. It's the giving that keeps him young.

Ruth: We have each other's backs. That's how this works. Remember when my baking went through the vegan, sugar-free phase?
Chris: Oh, yeah. I was lucky to survive it. Must've lost 12 pounds.
Ruth: But you told me, even though you knew I wouldn't be thrilled to hear it.
Chris: That may have been more of a self-preservation thing.
Ruth: Point is, we both have good days and bad days. We disagree. We tick each other off.

Skinny Man: I'm not shaving off a dead man's beard.

Chris: Fine work.
Ruth: A slight miscalculation. Probably a little stress-knitting.
Chris: Oh, we always wanted a bigger bed.
Ruth: There's the man I married.

Skinny Man: I've come for your head, fat man!

Chris: You think you're the first? You think I got this job because I'm fat and jolly?

Chris: I'm coming back. I'll come while you sleep and rip you from your covers. By my hand, you will know the consequence of your actions. So don't screw it up. The fat man's got his eye on you, kid.

Chris: If there's one thing I've learned, 7, it's never argue with a woman gifting cookies.

—
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Σ nostradamvs: «Они честно попытались снять чёрную комедию об усталом и серьёзном Санта-Клаусе, ..... Получилось в итоге что-то невнятно — то ли комедия, то ли боевик, то ли Мэлу Гибсону нечего было кушать и он согласился в этом деле сыграть.»

Damage from the Inside

Fear the Walking Dead 6×7

Ed: Don't worry. It won't hurt nearly as much as you think.

Ed: Um... I-I don't suppose either of you are chess players?

Ed: Ha! Queen's Gambit.

Ed: My, uh, my father, he was a taxidermist, and when I was a kid, I-I couldn't understand how you could... do something like that... to an animal. T-Take something so... So vibrant and alive and... A-and freeze it in time. But my dad, h-he turned me around. He said, "When else do you get the chance to preserve something like that? In its most perfect state. Forever?" That's why I took up the trade.

Ed: Whatever you think you are gonna do... don't.
Alicia: What?
Ed: You think you need to do it in order to protect yourself... but you don't. It's only gonna make things worse.

Ed: I created them. But I couldn't control them.

Alicia: How are you here?
Morgan: I heard the music.

Morgan: It doesn't have to go this way.
Alicia: I can't do your way.

Victor: Do you really wanna do this?
Alicia: Do you?
Morgan: We will do what we have to.

--
On the IMDb
+ Soundtrack

Мишель Уэльбек — Серотонин

  “Когда я просыпаюсь часов в пять, иногда в шесть утра, мне уже невмоготу, это самые мучительные минуты предстоящего дня. ...

&  Как ни грустно признаться, я не нашел что взять отсюда на память – ни писем, ни фотографий, ни даже книг, все хранилось в моем Macbook Air, тонком параллелепипеде из крацованного алюминия, и весило мое прошлое всего 1100 граммов.

&  Способен ли я быть счастливым в одиночестве? Вряд ли. И вообще способен ли я быть счастливым? Такие вопросы, я полагаю, лучше себе не задавать.

&  Плохо, когда влюбленные говорят на одном языке, плохо, что они действительно понимают друг друга и объясняются при помощи слов, ибо слово предназначено для пробуждения разногласий и ненависти, а вовсе не любви, слово разобщает уже в процессе произнесения, в то время как бестолковое, полувербальное влюбленное воркование – не важно, обращаешься ты к дорогому человеку или к любимой собаке, – создает благоприятные условия для безграничной и продолжительной любви. Если бы еще можно было ограничиться житейскими, сиюминутными темами – где ключ от гаража? в котором часу зайдет электрик? – это еще куда ни шло, но и все, тут пролегает граница, за которой открывается царство разлада, нелюбви и разводов.

&  ...на ней, скажем так, завершилась моя юность, больше никогда не возвращалось ко мне жизнеощущение, которое принято ассоциировать со словом «юность», эта очаровательная беззаботность (или, как вариант, эта мерзопакостная безответственность), вера в необъятность и открытость мира, потом реальность сомкнулась надо мной раз и навсегда.

&  Рано или поздно приходится платить по коммунальным счетам.

&  На Западе счастливым уже никто никогда не будет, думала она дальше, никто и никогда, сегодня уже пора рассматривать счастье как стародавнюю причуду, для его возникновения просто-напросто отсутствуют исторические предпосылки.

&  Умелая ложь должна хоть частично основываться на реальности...

Далее >>

Happy

Fargo 4×10

Loy Cannon: He's gonna try to take over.
Buel Cannon: Maybe. But he's a country boy. Why's he want a big-city headache?
Loy Cannon: Power.

Loy Cannon: You're always losing, till you win. That's why it's called an underdog.

Lionel 'Happy' Halloway: Decades that tell us the only thing worse than livin' in darkness is steppin' into the light.
Loy Cannon: So, what, born on the bottom, die on the bottom?
Lionel 'Happy' Halloway: You get your picture in the paper, you think it's just a picture of you? We all in there, crowded together. Cops decide to bust a head, they don't care which head, long as the color's right.

Oraetta Mayflower: The devil's got a special place in hell for small minds who betray their better's trust, who take advantage of their charitable acts.
Ethelrida Pearl Smutny: Is that place above or below the place you're going?

Oraetta Mayflower: What does it feel like to be so sure you're right and know that nobody cares? Hmm? I'll see you in your dreams...

Loy Cannon: It was blizzarding when Satchel was born. Middle of the night. Why do babies always come in the middle of the night?
Opal Rackley: It's the moon, my mama said. Babies come like the tide.

Loy Cannon: Buel birthed him in a tub with her mama. I was downstairs with the girls. I swear I couldn't hear a sound. My missus. Passing a 12-inch head through a six-inch hole. On my best day, I'm half as tough as that.

Satchel Cannon: No you. No boy. No do what you're told. No everything. This is my world. I'm the boss. I tell you... What to do... Now fuck off.

—
On the IMDb
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The One with the Screamer

Friends 3×22

Joey: Listen, drama critics, they're nothing but people who couldn't make it as actors. You know what you should do?
Kate: Become a drama critic?

— Please stay on the line. Your call is very important to us.

Joey: Hey, Pheebs, where were you?
Phoebe: I'm so, so sorry, Joey. I am definitely gonna see your play. I swear, your play is very important to us. Thank you for your patience. Your play is the next play I'm gonna see.

—
+ Quotes on the IMDb

Favourites

The Crown 4×4

Queen Elizabeth II: Almost three years on, we have inflation at 12%, unemployment of three million, and rioting and civil unrest in several major cities.
Margaret Thatcher: It's true. But there isn't a magical system whereby you can just push a few buttons and twiddle a few knobs and everything will be all right. Of course I would like to reduce interest rates...

Queen Elizabeth II: All right, you first. Who's yours?
Prince Philip: Anne.
Queen Elizabeth II: You said that alarmingly quickly.
Prince Philip: Because it didn't require thought.
Queen Elizabeth II: Philip!
Prince Philip: And your favorite is...
Queen Elizabeth II: I don't know.
Prince Philip: Liar!
Queen Elizabeth II: It's true! I really don't know.
Prince Philip: Your lack of self-knowledge sometimes is breathtaking.
Queen Elizabeth II: On balance, I'd say that was an asset.
Prince Philip: Everyone knows who your favorite is.
Queen Elizabeth II: Do they?
Prince Philip: Yes.
Queen Elizabeth II: Well, who?... Go on... Philip! Oh, you can't just leave!
Prince Philip: Watch me.

Queen Elizabeth II: Martin. I'd like you to arrange for me to see my four children... In private, one at a time.
Martin Charteris: Of course. Um… any particular order?
Queen Elizabeth II: No, I don't think so. Important, I think, though, that each is unaware that the others have been summoned too.
Martin Charteris: Yes, ma'am.
Queen Elizabeth II: Uh… Martin, perhaps a short briefing document ahead of each meeting, focusing on each child's hobbies, interests, and so forth. One would hate to appear uninformed. Or cold or remotely… remote.

Margaret Thatcher: You mean to do nothing?
Charles Powell: Yes. And trust all will be well.
Margaret Thatcher: How will it be well if we do nothing? How will it possibly end up well if we do nothing?

Queen Elizabeth II: Isn't this heaven?
Princess Anne: If you say so.
Queen Elizabeth II: I do. Tucked away in the country, rain and mud and horses and dogs, children, privacy. I do envy you.

Princess Anne: ... And yet all she has to do is put on a frock, and she's all over all the front pages, and everyone's falling over in shock at how wonderful she is.
Queen Elizabeth II: Who?
Princess Anne: Her.
Queen Elizabeth II: Diana.
Princess Anne: The only other young female in the family, yes, against whom I am now always compared. Lovely her, dumpy me. Smiling her, grumpy me. Charming her, awful me.

Queen Elizabeth II: You have so much to make you happy...
Princess Anne: Then how come none of it does?
Queen Elizabeth II: It will again if you're patient.
Princess Anne: Is that it? Is that the advice? "Stick it out, grin and bear it. Persevere"?
Queen Elizabeth II: Well, these things usually pass if you have the patience to wait.

Margaret Thatcher: Now, of course, you are all used to thinking of me as prime minister. But what the last few days has shown me very clearly is that, above all else, I am a mother.

Queen Elizabeth II: How did you get away with that?
Prince Andrew: What, the chopper? I told them the truth. That I'd been summoned on a matter of national importance by the commander in chief of the Armed Forces.
Queen Elizabeth II: It's a mother-and-son lunch. Hardly a matter of national importance.
Prince Andrew: You're the Queen, and I'm second in line to the throne. We break wind, it's a matter of national importance.

Queen Elizabeth II: Are you sure it was even legal?
Prince Andrew: Who cares?
Queen Elizabeth II: It might come as a shock to you to know that I care.
Prince Andrew: The point is, it's art, which means it's perfectly appropriate for a future Duchess of…
Queen Elizabeth II: York.
Prince Andrew: York?
Queen Elizabeth II: Yes, York. The idea just came to me. It's the dukedom that traditionally goes to the second eldest and has long military associations.
Prince Andrew: As in "the Grand Old Duke of…"
Queen Elizabeth II: Exactly.
Prince Andrew: Didn't the previous two Dukes of York also both become king?
Queen Elizabeth II: Yes, due to the unexpected death or abdication of their elder brothers. In your case, not only would Charles have to die, you'd have to murder any sons he had.
Prince Andrew: The Duke of York has history in that department too. Richard III.
Queen Elizabeth II: Oh, yes! You are clever.
Prince Andrew: This salmon is delicious.
Queen Elizabeth II: Isn't it?

Prince Andrew: I just wanted to let you know if the situation were to escalate, I'd insist on going. And I'd want your assurance the Crown would not stand between me and frontline service.
Queen Elizabeth II: I wouldn't dream of it.
Prince Andrew: Good!
Queen Elizabeth II: We never shirk action in this family. Ever. We're no different to anyone else. That's what I spend my life telling everyone.

Sir Geoffrey Howe: Oh, that's absurd!
Margaret Thatcher: Why?
Sir Geoffrey Howe: It's 8,000 miles away. It would take any naval vessel three weeks to get there. By that time, the Falkland Islands will be Argentine.
Margaret Thatcher: Then I say we retake them.
Sir Geoffrey Howe: It's impossible.
Margaret Thatcher: Is it impossible, Admiral? Do you think we could?
Admiral Leach: I do, Prime Minister.
Margaret Thatcher: Then we must.
Sir Geoffrey Howe: But the cost alone… Sending 30,000 military personnel to the South Atlantic on the back of a recession where output is still low and unemployment breathtakingly high… We must consider public opinion. This government… This administration is currently…
Margaret Thatcher: Go on, Geoffrey. Say it.
Sir Geoffrey Howe: Unloved. Unpopular. We will never survive an unnecessary and unaffordable war.
Margaret Thatcher: And I say we will not survive not going to war.

Margaret Thatcher: There is a limit to what one can do if people are themselves limited.

Queen Elizabeth II: So what's yours?
Prince Charles: That eventually the house, the land, and the garden should reflect who I really am and what I'm all about.
Queen Elizabeth II: So the big idea is you.
Prince Charles: So everything will be done organically. No chemicals or pesticides. There'll be no straight lines, no manicuring, nothing too neat or uniform. A certain wild unconventionality about it.
Queen Elizabeth II: Is that you too?
Prince Charles: Well, it's anyone of any interest, isn't it?
Queen Elizabeth II: Um… Who'd obey rules? Who'd be conventional?
Prince Charles: Don't you hate it when gardeners impose straight lines everywhere? Nature abhors a straight line, after all.
Queen Elizabeth II: That pool looks like it's going to have straight lines.
Prince Charles: Well, yes, but that's a pool.
Queen Elizabeth II: Is that going to be a tennis court? Doesn't look particularly organic either.
Prince Charles: Mummy.
Queen Elizabeth II: Sorry. No, it's lovely.
Prince Charles: I'm glad you like it. I really think I could be happy here. It's brought something out in me. My own little Shangri-La or Xanadu...

Queen Elizabeth the Queen Mother: What's the matter, darling?
Queen Elizabeth II: Drink.
Princess Margaret: Is that a question or an order?
Queen Elizabeth II: More of a cry for help, I think.

Queen Elizabeth II: The conclusion I have come to is that it's our children that are lost, not the prime minister's. Each in their own deserts.
Prince Philip: Anne's not lost.
Queen Elizabeth II: Her marriage is.
Prince Philip: All right. Edward's not lost.
Queen Elizabeth II: I disagree. He seems entirely lost, and bullied, and vengeful.
Prince Philip: I'll concede that Charles is lost… but he always has been.
Queen Elizabeth II: And as for Andrew…
Prince Philip: Your favorite?
Queen Elizabeth II: I was shocked. If he doesn't change… What does that say about us as parents? I spoke to Mummy about it.
Prince Philip: Ah. The oracle. What did she say?
Queen Elizabeth II: She said that I must not blame myself. I'm already mother to the nation.
Prince Philip: Well, she's right.

Prince Philip: Look at me. You must stop this nonsense. You are a perfectly good mother. And the children are adults now, you know? It's their responsibility to sort themselves out.
Queen Elizabeth II: If they sort themselves out.
Prince Philip: Well, they will. Eventually. And… in the meantime, it is your job to...
Queen Elizabeth II: Stick around, stay alive, and keep breathing.
Prince Philip: Precisely. For all our sakes.

—
On the IMDb
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Fairytale

The Crown 4×3

Martin Charteris: .... She also thought some tutorials might be useful for what will be a very drastic transition from teenager to royal princess. And… Well, the feeling was, if Your Majesty were agreeable…
Queen Elizabeth II: That I should be her teacher?
Martin Charteris: Well, one queen to the next. Mother-in-law, daughter-in-law, might be nice...
Queen Elizabeth II: Oh no, there's a lot to learn, a lot to get right. And you know me. I'm far too much of a softy.

Interviewer: I see you're going to bring a deep and lasting joy to the nation. And if I may say, you both look very much in love.
Diana Spencer: Oh yes, absolutely!
Prince Charles: Whatever "in love" means.

Lady Fermoy: I should warn you, this won't be one session. This won't be two sessions. What any new entry into the royal family needs to learn could barely be covered in 20 sessions, but we will do it, and I will work you hard because you cannot be allowed to fail.
     I propose we divide our lessons together into three areas. History. The history of the royal family, the Court of St. James's, the palaces and houses, and the household.
     Deportment. What to wear, how and where to sit, when to open your mouth and, more importantly, what to say.
     But based on the horrors we saw the other night, I think we need to start with the all-important sink or swim rules, rules which if you get a single one of these wrong, you're not just in trouble. You're dead.
Diana Spencer: Right.
Lady Fermoy: Beginning with rank and precedence and identifying which members of the royal family you must curtsy to, how, and in which order. In your current position, you curtsy to everyone, but after you become Princess of Wales, things get a little more complicated because certain members of the family will have to curtsy to you. That in itself changes depending on whether you're with the Prince of Wales… Do you know, the one thing I really hate is when I go to a restaurant and the waiter comes to the table and attempts to memorize the order without writing it down. You just know it's going to go wrong.
Diana Spencer: Right.
Lady Fermoy: When you are unaccompanied as Princess of Wales…

Lady Fermoy: You use your hands far too much. You make gestures when you talk. Gestures reveal us, whether we're anxious or agitated or cross. It's best not to give that away. One should never try to show one's emotions.

Diana Spencer: It is absolutely essential that I see the Queen. This wedding can't go ahead. It'll be a disaster for everyone.

Dean of St Paul's: Marriage is an honorable estate instituted of God himself, and therefore is not, by any, to be enterprised, nor taken in hand unadvisedly, lightly, or wantonly, but reverently, discreetly, soberly, and in the fear of God. Charles Philip Arthur George, wilt thou have this woman to thy wedded wife? Etcetera.

Princess Margaret: How many times can this family make the same mistake? Forbidding marriages… that should be allowed. Forcing others that shouldn't. Paying the consequences each time. He's marrying Diana. But he's still in love with the other one.
Prince Philip: Let me say something as a man. The older Diana gets, the more confident Diana becomes, the more beautiful Diana becomes, which she will… the more Charles will fall in love with her, and this will all be fine. In the meantime, he…
Queen Elizabeth the Queen Mother: Juggles them both? That's how it works. How it's always worked.
Princess Margaret: This is madness. We can stop them now, before they tie the knot. Not just for the sake of the monarchy, but for them as human beings. We have to stop them now.

Prince Charles: Mummy?
Queen Elizabeth II: When your great-grandmother, Queen Mary, was a beautiful young princess… she was about to marry her Prince Charming. But before they got to the church, he fell ill and died. But everyone was so impressed with her, that they put her together with his younger brother. Only one problem. The younger brother was Prince Charmless. Dull and shy. There was no attraction, certainly no love. But in order to make the marriage work, they were encouraged to focus on the bigger idea. Duty. They worked and worked and worked. And out of that work, a tiny seed grew. A seed of respect and admiration, a seed that grew into a flower they could eventually call love. They were married for 42 years. They stabilized a country that was at war with itself, and they left the Crown stronger, while all around them, the great monarchies of Europe fell.
     Now I cannot claim to be the most intuitive mother, but I do think I know when one of my children is unhappy. Whatever wretchedness you are feeling now… whatever doubts you harbor… if you could follow the example of your great-grandmother… love and happiness will surely follow.

Dean of St Paul's: .... Here is the stuff of which fairy tales are made. The prince and princess on their wedding day. But fairy tales usually end at this point with the simple phrase, "They lived happily ever after." This may be because fairy tales regard marriage as an anticlimax after the romance of courtship. As husband and wife live out their vows, loving and cherishing one another, sharing life's splendors and miseries, achievements and setbacks, they will be transformed in the process. Our faith sees the wedding day not as the place of arrival, but the place where the adventure really begins...

—
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The Beguiled (2017)

Corporal McBurney: Sixty-Sixth New York, ma'am. Grateful to be your prisoner.

Corporal McBurney: Tell me something, will you? Miss Morrow... If you could have anything, what's your biggest wish? If you could have anything in the world, what would it be?
Edwina: Anything?
Corporal McBurney: Yeah. Anything.
Edwina: To be taken far away from here.

Miss Martha: I have to say, when they saw me, they said, there is nothing more frightening than a startled woman with a gun.

Marie: He must get lonely eating alone in his room.
Alicia: We can show him some real Southern hospitality.

Miss Martha: Miss Alicia made the pie herself.
Alicia: I hope you like apple pie.
Corporal McBurney: I love apple pie. It's my favorite.
Edwina: Is that my recipe, Alicia?
Alicia: It is.
Amy: I picked the apples.
Corporal McBurney: They're delicious.
Marie: Apple pie is my favorite too.

Corporal McBurney: Well, a toast to you, Miss Martha, you must be the bravest woman I've ever known.
Miss Martha: No. No. All bravery is, is doing what is needed at the time.

Miss Martha: Tell me, Corporal... do you think this war will be over soon?
Corporal McBurney: Very soon, sooner than you Southerners are ready to admit.

Miss Martha: Hmm, that's what we're gonna do. We're gonna make a nice supper. We'll invite him for a big send-off. Prepare a smoked ham and we'll make biscuits and... And then we'll sauté the mushrooms in butter and wine...

—
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The One with the Chick and the Duck

Friends 3×21

Phoebe: Whoa, whoa, whoa. You guys, do you know anything about chicks?
Chandler: Fowl? No. Women?... No.

Pete: Have you thought about it?
Monica: Okay, here's the thing...
Pete: Oh, no. Not "the thing. " I hate "the thing. " What's "the thing"?

Ross: Okay, what do you think? This blue suit or this brown one?
Joey: Well, the brown one brings out your eyes. But your butt looks great in the blue one.

Chandler: Do you guys know how to get a chick out of a VCR?

Phoebe: Ooh, I have to tell you something.
Monica: What?
Phoebe: Well, I can't tell you.
Monica: Okay, but wouldn't it be easier to tell me something that you could tell me?
Phoebe: Well, sure, in a perfect world. But no. I promised I wouldn't tell, and I swore to, like, all my gods.
Monica: Okay. Does it have to do with Ross and Rachel? ....

Rachel: Um, okay, just turn around.
Ross: What?
Rachel: I don't want you to see me naked.
Ross: Rachel, I've seen you naked a million times. I ate hot fudge off you naked. I sucked that mini-marshmallow out of your bellybutton.
Rachel: Yeah, but that was different, you know? We were going out then. Now it's weird.
Ross: Rach, you know, I can see you naked anytime I want.
Rachel: What?
Ross: Ha, ha. All I have to do is close my eyes. See?... Woo-hoo!

Rachel: Okay, you'd tell me the truth, right?
Ross: Rach, you can't look fat in an X-ray.

—
+ Quotes on the IMDb

The Balmoral Test

The Crown 4×2

Margaret Thatcher: The way those men patronize me, lecture me. Those squires and grandees… Upper-class bastards. And their ideas, their solutions to the problems this country faces, so unimaginative, and cautious, and… wet.

Margaret Thatcher: My father used to give a sermon. "God needs no faint hearts for his ambassadors." They are faint hearts. And I should have kicked them out when I had the chance.

Denis Thatcher: I had a call from Malcolm Muggeridge this morning, who said, "Watch out for the tests." "Oh, which tests?" said I. "The infamous Balmoral tests," said he. Apparently, the royal family routinely subject all their guests to secret tests, to find out whether someone is acceptable or not acceptable. U or non-U, part of the gang or not part of the gang. Apparently, it's ruthless, a blood sport in itself.

Margaret Thatcher: Unpacking your bag? What was she thinking? That's a wife's job. And two bedrooms.
Denis Thatcher: I know. It's all very odd. Are we allowed to sleep in one bed? I shall go and check with the protocol sheet.

Margaret Thatcher: What do you think 6:00 p.m. is? Drinks or dinner?
Denis Thatcher: Oh, who knows?
Margaret Thatcher: What do I wear?
Denis Thatcher: What the heck? Who cares?
Margaret Thatcher: Well, I care. Every house has rules, and places like this are all about what you wear and when.

Margaret Thatcher: On the plane, you said there were tests.
Denis Thatcher: Oh. So you did hear what I said.
Margaret Thatcher: Of course I heard what you said. I don't need to look at you to show you I'm listening to what you're saying.
Denis Thatcher: Well, it might be nice.
Margaret Thatcher: I don't have the time to be nice.

Denis Thatcher: All right, then. Why don't I go and sleep in the other room?
Margaret Thatcher: Don't you dare! We don't want to catch any upper-class habits. Those that sleep apart grow apart.
Denis Thatcher: It's just for one night.
Margaret Thatcher: And that's precisely how bad habits start.

Queen Elizabeth II: It was how I spent some happy times with my father, King George. He taught me everything.
Margaret Thatcher: My father taught me a great deal too.
Queen Elizabeth II: What did you do together?
Margaret Thatcher: We worked. Work was our play. I worked with him in our shop. As an alderman, he took me everywhere. I watched as he wrote his speeches and listened as he rehearsed and delivered them. It was my political baptism.
Queen Elizabeth II: How lovely for you both...
Margaret Thatcher: Yes.

Princess Margaret: Aren't you supposed to be out there stalking?
Margaret Thatcher: Yes, I was, but your sister...
Princess Margaret: No, you don't call her that. You call her "the Queen." She's the Queen, not my sister. And that chair, no one sits in that chair.
Margaret Thatcher: Oh, I beg your pardon.
Princess Margaret: God, don't say that either. Say "What?" Begging for anything is desperate. Begging for pardon is common. That chair… no one sits in that chair. It's Queen Victoria's chair.
Margaret Thatcher: Oh.
Princess Margaret: And you do realize this is supposed to be a bank holiday?
Margaret Thatcher: Yes, although it is hard to have a holiday when the country is in its current state.
Princess Margaret: Mm. The country has been in a state before. It will doubtless be in a state again. One learns, when one has the benefit of experience, that sometimes time off is the most sensible course of action.
Margaret Thatcher: Hm. Well, I'm not best suited to time off. It gives me no pleasure.
Princess Margaret: It might give you something more important than that. Perspective.

Margaret Thatcher: What am I doing here? Miles from Westminster, miles from reality, wasting precious time in some…
Denis Thatcher: Half-Scottish, half-Germanic cuckoo-land?
Margaret Thatcher: Yes.

Camilla Shand: Talk to me.
Prince Charles: She's a triumph. In the history of Balmoral, no one has ever passed the test with such flying colors.
Camilla Shand: Well, well, well.
Prince Charles: Rave reviews from the whole ghastly politburo. Anne, Papa, Margot, Mummy, Granny.

Queen Elizabeth II: You have a brand-new cabinet...
Margaret Thatcher: I have.
Queen Elizabeth II: Mostly older ministers that were culled.
Margaret Thatcher: Yes, although it wasn't just their age that decided it.
Queen Elizabeth II: Rather?
Margaret Thatcher: Their background, mostly. And lack of grit, as a consequence of their privilege and entitlement.
Queen Elizabeth II: Always a mistake to assume just because people are privileged, they lack grit. And a dangerous game, I think, to make enemies left, right, and center.
Margaret Thatcher: Not if one is comfortable with having enemies.
Queen Elizabeth II: Are you?
Margaret Thatcher: Oh yes. Inspired by the words of the Chartist poet Charles Mackay.
    "You have no enemies, you say?:
     Alas! My friend, the boast is poor.
     He, who has mingled in the fray
     Of duty, that the brave endure,
     Must have made foes! If you have none,
     Small is the work that you have done.

     You've hit no traitor on the hip,
     You've dashed no cup from perjured lip,
     You've never turned the wrong to right,
     You've been a coward in the fight."

Princess Anne: What does you-know-who say?
Prince Charles: Depressingly, she's all for it.
Princess Anne: Of course she is. Everyone's all for it because everyone understands it's time to finally close this chapter. To put the whole Parker Bowles soap opera behind us. All of us. For good.

—
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Gold Stick

The Crown 3×1

Diana Spencer: I'm Sarah's younger sister, by the way. Please don't tell her you saw me. I'll get into terrible trouble. She wanted everything to be just perfect. She wouldn't want me to scare you off.
Prince Charles: How would you do that?
Diana Spencer: Well, you know… by being a mad tree.

Margaret Thatcher: I will not be drawn on any subject save the weather. It's a lovely day.

Queen Elizabeth II: I rather like what I've seen of her.
Prince Philip: What, the shopkeeper's daughter?
Queen Elizabeth II: An alderman shopkeeper's daughter who worked hard and gained a scholarship to Oxford.
Prince Philip: Yes, to study chemistry.
Queen Elizabeth II: Yes, but later changed direction and qualified as a barrister while raising twins. You try doing that.
Prince Philip: What about her character? It says here, "As a young woman, she applied for a job as a food research chemist and was rejected after the personnel department assessed her as being headstrong, obstinate, and dangerously self-opinionated."
Queen Elizabeth II: Really? Who else around here does that sound like?

Margaret Thatcher: Your Majesty.
Queen Elizabeth II: Your party has won the election. It is my very great pleasure to invite you to form a government in my name. Congratulations, Prime Minister.

Queen Elizabeth II: It may surprise you that I enjoy predicting ministerial comings and goings. It is like the races. I like to study form and odds. Who's in. Who's out. I also like to predict cabinets. My best so far was Mr. Wilson's second reshuffle. I got 90%. Would you like to hear my predictions for yours?

Queen Elizabeth II: I'm assuming no women.
Margaret Thatcher: Women?
Queen Elizabeth II: In cabinet.
Margaret Thatcher: Oh, certainly not. Well, not just because there aren't any suitable candidates, but I have found women in general tend not to be suited to high office.
Queen Elizabeth II: Oh? Why's that?
Margaret Thatcher: Well, they become too emotional.
Queen Elizabeth II: I doubt you'll have that trouble with me...

Denis Thatcher: ... Smart cookie!
Margaret Thatcher: Yes. Quite different to how I imagined. More interested and informed. With a commendable appetite for work, which I'm told she keeps up throughout the summer holidays. I left thinking we might work very well together...
Denis Thatcher: Two menopausal women. That'll be a smooth ride.
Margaret Thatcher: I heard that.
Denis Thatcher: Oh.

Prince Philip: It's certainly lovely to be back... You going stalking with the boss?
Princess Anne: She insisted.
Prince Philip: Good.

Margaret Thatcher: I am sick and tired of those who would seek to rationalize and make excuses for the atrocities committed by the IRA. There's no such thing as political murder or political bombing or political violence. There's only criminal murder, criminal bombing, and criminal violence. And I give you my word, I will wage a war against the Irish Republican Army with relentless determination and without mercy until that war is won.

Prince Charles: What about her… character?
Sarah Spencer: Everyone in the family calls her "Duch," because ever since childhood, she's behaved as if she were destined for greater things.

—
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Training Wheels and an Unleashed Chicken

Young Sheldon 4×3

Sheldon: ... First, we must determine the maximum velocity achievable without breaking a sweat. Sweating is for jocks and those who are worried the jig is up.

Sheldon: Darn it.
Meemaw: What are you looking for?
Sheldon: Chest hairs. Is there any chance I'll hit puberty in the next few weeks?
Meemaw: Oh, God, I hope not. Why?
Sheldon: The campus is so big, I'll never make it from one class to another without a solid dose of testosterone.

Mary: Maybe they'll let you leave early so you'll have time.
Sheldon: But the end of the class is when I point out the teacher's mistakes. Everybody loves that.

Mary: I'd say run across campus, but I know how you feel about sweating.
Sheldon: It's the urine of the skin.

Mary: Why not ride your bike?
Sheldon: I considered that, but I can't let my colleagues see me with training wheels. They'll think I'm a child.
Meemaw: Can't have that. Mm-mm.

Missy: All right. You're gonna pedal. I'm gonna run behind and hold you up.
Sheldon: I'm nervous.
Missy: Just pedal. You'll be fine...

Missy: Dad, Sheldon got hurt.
George: How?
Missy: A chicken chased him into a mailbox.

George: It's not too swollen. That's a good sign.
Sheldon: You're not a doctor.
George: But I see this on the football field all the time.
Sheldon: Football players are meant to be hurt. I'm meant to be cherished.

Sheldon: Did you get a discount doctor because we're poor?

Brenda: I just wanted to bring you some food as a peace offering and promise it will never happen again.
George: Well, thanks. Ooh, fried chicken...
Brenda: Never. Again.

Sheldon: That's the wrong "your!"
Missy: What are you talking about?
Sheldon: It's supposed to be Y-O-U-R. What you wrote means, "I hope you are arm gets better."
Missy: Oh.
Sheldon: You defaced my body with a grammatical error!
Missy: I guess that's your problem. Y-O-U-R.

Sheldon: Left-handed knocking. Wild.

Mary: .... And bless Sheldon's arm to heal strong and quick.
Sheldon: Strongly and quickly.
Mary: Amen.

Adult Sheldon: I am not saying my mother and I had a codependent relationship... But she did have a tendency to baby me, and boy howdy, was I okay with that.

Sheldon: Shampoo?
Mary: Shampoo.
Sheldon: Baby shampoo?
Mary: Does E equal MC squared?
Sheldon: Love you.

Mary: Did you have a tough time when your kids started being independent?
Connie: I'll let you know.
Mary: What does that mean?
Connie: Means one of 'em is still sitting in my kitchen whining about something.

Connie: Yes, watching your kids grow up is hard.
Mary: So how do you handle it?
Connie: I find a little bourbon in my coffee does the trick.

Connie: Listen, it's hard being a parent, but if you do it right, they don't need you anymore.
Mary: Well, I don't like that. I get it, but I just don't like it.
Connie: Well, I'd point out, you'll always have your husband, but you want me to be "helpful."

Sheldon: I need Mom to sing "Soft Kitty."
Missy: Don't do it.
Sheldon: Why?
Missy: You're being a baby again.

--
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Honestly

This Is Us 5×4

Jack: Hey, we-we can't keep doing this. Miguel and Shelly said we just got to let Kevin cry himself to sleep.
Rebecca: I know, I know, I know. Maybe we just, maybe we just give it one more night?
Jack: Babe, we've been saying that for months. Look, how is Kevin gonna teach himself to sleep if every time he cries, we're just, we're rushing in there to pick him up?
Rebecca: Rip Van Winkle. Rip Van Winkle, that's the name of the guy from the fairy tale I couldn't remember.

Jack: Tonight's the night. Tonight we let him cry it out. Okay?
Rebecca: Okay. Tonight's the night... Hmm.
Jack: I got it. I got it. You stay and take a nap.

Kevin: After your first film, I thought, you know, any role this guy wants me to play, I will do it, let alone a character like this. You know, so complex, right? Unpredictable in a movie...
Foster: Film. Uh, it's a film.

Kate: Okay, uh, will Serious Toby be watching the ultrasound on FaceTime? Or will Funny Toby miss seeing Baby Chloe for the first time?
Toby: Baby Chloe? So, have we decided to go with that name?
Kate: I think we have.
Toby: Serious Toby is very excited. It's just hard to tell because he's so serious.

Randall: Okay. Politician's dilemma: solid versus striped. Solid says I stand by my convictions. Striped says I represent my entire community.

Randall: Your father and your boyfriend spending the entire day together. What could go wrong?
Deja: You're enjoying this way too much. Something is wrong with you.

Deja: Okay, a couple things. Don't talk about us, okay? Don't talk about me. Don't talk about you. Actually, just don't talk at all. And good luck or whatever.

Randall: Hey, yo, yo, yo. Gandall Gearson gout.

Kevin: Here's the thing, when somebody says "To be honest" or "If I'm being honest with you" or "Honestly," it usually means they're about ready to lie to you.

Jack: Well, it's a good thing Randall and Kate are such heavy sleepers, huh?
Rebecca: This-this-this isn't normal crying, Jack. He's never cried like this before. Maybe something's wrong. Maybe he's hurt.
Jack: Miguel and Shelly said he's...
Rebecca: Enough with Miguel and Shelly! Who made them experts, anyway? Their kids are train wrecks!

Rebecca: What's so funny? That's, that's the sound of our son being emotionally traumatized for life.
Jack: Rebecca, do you remember this morning when we said, "Tonight's the night"? We held hands and...
Rebecca: Yeah, I-I don't care what I said this morning, because I didn't know then that he'd be crying like a maniac for a half hour.
Jack: It's been... six minutes.
Rebecca: No way!
Jack: Mm-hmm.
Rebecca: What?!

Annie: Mom, I want to watch.
Beth: Hey, hey, hey. Annie, you know what? There's some things you can't unsee, baby, and this is one of them, all right?

Rebecca: I know. I know. I just, I-I think he needed to know that he wasn't alone. That's all.

Kevin: I was, I was just wondering if you had any specific feedback for me so that I could, you know... I want to give you what you want, in the scene.
Foster: I didn't realize you were the kind of guy that needs an attaboy.
Kevin: No, no, it's...
Foster: Look, look, today I learned that you are a good actor. And there's nothing wrong with being a good actor. And when you die, people will say, "Oh, yeah, I remember him. He was good." Or you could be one of the greats. Now, here's the good news, Kevin: you get to decide. Is today as close as you get to greatness... or do you come back tomorrow?
Kevin: ... See you tomorrow.

Kevin: Well, I had the worst first day with this new director. I feel like he put me in a bag and just beat me with a baseball bat.
Kate: Why would he put you in a bag? Why wouldn't he beat you up outside of the bag?
Kevin: No, because when you're in the bag, you don't know where he's hitting you. You know, just random spots all over the body. So you don't know where the next blow's gonna land.

Kevin: Look, I'm not an idiot, okay? I... I understand it probably wasn't a walk in the park to be the only black kid in that fancy private school he went to. But let's not sit here and pretend that Mom and Dad did anything wrong, okay?
Kate: I'm just saying, we all have stuff from our past that we're still dealing with, okay? And that's Randall, you and me.
Kevin: What does that mean?
Kate: Nothing. Honestly, I'm just tired. It's been a really long day.
Kevin: Honestly?
Kate: Yeah. I'm fine.

Jae-won: Today's, uh, bulletin. ...it's kind of going viral.
Randall: Well, viral how?
Jae-won: Your bulletins usually get 5,000 views. This one is already over 100,000. It might make the news tonight. And not just the local stations, either... Well, on the plus side, the camera angle's very flattering.

Jack: Our kids, I want them to know their dad sees greatness in them. I will kill myself to make them feel that way. Even when... Even when deep down, I just want to hold my kid and-and tell him to go take a nap.

--
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Marriage Story (2019)

Jay Marotta: Listen, if we start from a place of reasonable, and they start from a place of crazy, when we settle, we'll be somewhere between reasonable and crazy. Which is still crazy.
Ted: Half of crazy is crazy.

Ted: Criminal lawyers see bad people at their best, divorce lawyers see good people at their worst.

Bert Spitz: Getting divorced with a kid is one of the hardest things to do. It's like a death without a body.

Bert Spitz: You know, this can be a really ugly process. But I also believe it doesn't have to be terrible.
Charlie: I'm glad to hear you say that.

Bert Spitz: I want you to know that eventually this will all be over and whatever we win or lose..it will be the two of you having to figure this out together Bert Spitz: And keep in mind, you'll have to pay for her lawyer. It doesn't make sense, does it? I mean, you're doing this because you love your kid. And in doing so, you're draining money from your kid's education.
Charlie: It seems ridiculous.
Bert Spitz: Oh, it is. It is, boy.

Jay Marotta: Nora, I like how you refer to Charlie's theater as a ramshackle downtown dump when you're arguing custody, but when you want more money, he's a big, rich, genius Broadway director. You can't have it both ways.
Nora Fanshaw: Oh, really? Why not?

Charlie: You want to present yourself as a victim because it's a good legal strategy? Fine, but you and I both know you chose this life! You wanted it until you didn't! You used me so you could get out of LA.
Nicole: I didn't use you.
Charlie: You did, and then you blamed me for it!

Nora Fanshaw: I'm going to stop you there. When you do this for real, don't ever say that. People don't accept mothers who drink too much wine and yell at their child and call him an asshole. I get it. I do it too. We can accept an imperfect dad. Let's face it, the idea of a good father was only invented like 30 years ago. Before that, fathers were expected to be silent and absent and unreliable and selfish, and can all say we want them to be different. But on some basic level, we accept them. We love them for their fallibilities, but people absolutely don't accept those same failings in mothers. We don't accept it structurally and we don't accept it spiritually. Because the basis of our Judeo-Christian whatever is Mary, Mother of Jesus, and she's perfect. She's a virgin who gives birth, unwaveringly supports her child and holds his dead body when he's gone. And the dad isn't there. He didn't even do the fucking. God is in heaven. God is the father and God didn't show up. So, you have to be perfect, and Charlie can be a fuck up and it doesn't matter. You will always be held to a different, higher standard. And it's fucked up, but that's the way it is.

—
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Greenland (2020)

John Garrity: It's always something, huh?

John Garrity: Sometimes you just gotta suck it up. Push through, right? Even when you're super scared.

Colin: They're selecting people based on their professions. Like my mom, she was selected because she's a doctor.
John Garrity: I'm a structural engineer. I build buildings.
Colin: We definitely need those.

Nathan Garrity: My friend Teddy says your life flashes in front of your eyes when you die. I think it would be better if it did that while you lived. That way, you could see all the good memories and be happy.

Nathan Garrity: I don't wanna fly anymore!

Nathan Garrity: Where are the flashes?
Allison Garrity: What flashes?
Nathan Garrity: Before we die. The flashes.

—
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The One with the Dollhouse

Friends 3×20

Monica: What's this?
Phoebe: That's a dog. Every house should have a dog.
Monica: Not one that can pee on the roof.
Phoebe: Well, maybe it's so big because the house was built on radioactive waste.
Chandler: And is this in case the house sneezes?
Phoebe: No. No, that's the ghost for the attic.
Monica: I don't want a ghost.
Phoebe: Well, nobody wants a ghost. But you've got one... because the house is sitting on an ancient Indian burial ground.
Ross: Wait a minute. The house was built on radioactive waste... and an ancient Indian burial ground? Ha, ha. That would never happen.
Phoebe: Okay, obviously you don't know much about the U.S. Government. Ha, ha.

Phoebe: Come, dinosaur. We're not welcome in the house of no imagination.
Ross: Uh, Pheebs, while we're hovering around the subject... I just have to say that dinosaurs, they don't go, "Ruff."
Phoebe: The little ones do.

Joey: What do you see in him, anyway?
Kate: He happens to be brilliant. Which is more than I can say for that sweater you're dating.
Joey: Hey, I'm not interested in her sweater. It's what's underneath her sweater that counts.

Joey: Since when do you care who I'm going out with?
Kate: I don't care. Why? Do you want me to care?
Joey: Heh. Do you want me to want you to care?
Kate: Do you?
Joey: What?

—
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Cri de Coeur

The Crown 3×10

Princess Margaret: He can't help himself. My priapic little snapper...

Lord Snowdon: The rogue's gallery. Isn't it fun? I did it to remind Princess Margaret that her family has as many skeletons in the cupboard as anyone else's. House of Windsor? House of Horrors, more like.

Lord Snowdon: She always hated it here. She considers it as ugly, misshapen, and common as me. The failure of our marriage could not be better encapsulated by the two houses, the two dwellings, in which she and I are most comfortable. Hers... some insect-infested gin palace given to her by fawning sycophants. And this... is mine.

Princess Margaret: Tony and I will never let go of one another. And it's not just because divorce is incompatible with my faith, but because... this is just how we like it. War is our love. A brutal fight to the death is our mating dance, and I speak for both of us when I say we wouldn't want it any other way. Contentment is dull, and Tony and I are anything but dull.

Prince Philip: How could matters get any worse? What more could possibly go wrong? And then you come down to breakfast, you see the newspapers, and you realize, they've done it again. ... I mean, right now the United Kingdom is the equivalent of a patient dying on the operating table and the surgeons, no, the butchers, no, sorry, the murderers responsible for causing that death are seeking re-election. Instead of throwing them in jail, the people, like lemmings, are queuing up to extend their bloody contracts.

Princess Margaret: You know, I have a garden that needs doing.
Roddy Llewellyn: Do you? I imagine you must have an army of gardeners.
Princess Margaret: Don't believe everything you hear. No, my garden is quite neglected. Especially the one in Mustique.
Roddy Llewellyn: Where?
Princess Margaret: It's a small private island in the Caribbean.

Lord Snowdon: And now... to the main business. Voilà.
Queen Elizabeth II: A mug.
Lord Snowdon: And...
Queen Elizabeth II: A teapot.
Lord Snowdon: And...
Queen Elizabeth II: Oh.
Lord Snowdon: A commemorative plate. And a tea towel with the dates 1952 to 1977. The powers that be thought it might be nice if someone from inside the firm were to design some of the memorabilia.
Queen Elizabeth II: Oh, Tony, you are clever.
Lord Snowdon: Always happy to help my family.

Queen Elizabeth II: In my experience people, find a way to do what they need to do to remain happy or sane. I often think turning a blind eye is the best approach. Things work themselves out in the end.

Queen Elizabeth II: Oh, Prime Minister, I am sorry. This will come as a terrible shock.
Harold Wilson: Well, maybe, but, uh... No shock lasts longer than 48 hours. There's too much appetite for the next shock.

Queen Elizabeth II: I'll miss our sessions terribly. I don't mind admitting I let out an unconstitutional cheer when you beat Mr. Heath this time.
Harold Wilson: Oh... I always said deep down, you're a leftie at heart.
Queen Elizabeth II: Nothing to do with the politics. You're just a better companion. Although, I wouldn't have said that the first time we met.
Harold Wilson: No! You thought I was going to rough you lot up. And look what a sentimental old royalist I turned out to be.

Harold Wilson: Your Majesty...
Queen Elizabeth II: Prime Minister? If you saw fit to invite your Queen to supper at Downing Street before you left, she would be honored.
Harold Wilson: But that's an honor previously only given to Churchill...
Queen Elizabeth II: The Duke of Edinburgh and I would like that very much.

Queen Elizabeth the Queen Mother: You would say more indicative of a cry for attention, than a genuine suicide attempt? A cri de coeur, rather than a coup de grâce?

Princess Margaret: Tony and I are going to separate.
Queen Elizabeth II: Yes, I think that's probably wise.
Princess Margaret: Which, I'm afraid to say, will lead to divorce.
Queen Elizabeth II: Yes.
Princess Margaret: The first royal divorce since Henry VIII and Anne of Cleves...

Princess Margaret: How many does that make it?
Queen Elizabeth II: Prime ministers?.. Whoever replaces him will be my seventh.
Princess Margaret: The rest of us drop like flies, but she goes on and on...

Queen Elizabeth II: Of all the people everywhere, you are the closest, and most important to me. And if by doing this... you wanted to let me imagine for one minute what life would be like without you... you succeeded. It would be unbearable.
Princess Margaret: Then we must both carry on.

Princess Margaret: You must do it.
Queen Elizabeth II: You don't think it might all backfire on me? Ask yourself, in the time I've been on the throne, what have I actually achieved?
Princess Margaret: You've been calm... and stable and...
Queen Elizabeth II: Useless and unhelpful. This country was still great when I came to the throne, and now look. So much for the Second Elizabethan Age, which Winston talked about. All that's happened on my watch is the place has fallen apart.
Princess Margaret: It's only fallen apart if we say it has. That's the thing about the monarchy. We paper over the cracks. And if what we do is loud and grand and confident enough, no one will notice that all around us it's fallen apart. That's the point of us... Not us. Of you. You cannot flinch. Because if you show a single crack, we'll see it isn't a crack, but a chasm, and we'll all fall in. So you must hold it all together.
Queen Elizabeth II: Must I do that alone?
Princess Margaret: There is only one queen.

—
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