& Kyle: Okay. So we have our main characters.
Joel: Not quite. There is another character that was just as important as the two of us... New York City.
Karen: So New York City is like another character?
Molly: Yeah.
Kyle: So if there was a movie about your relationship, it would probably start with aerial shots of the Manhattan skyline.
Joel: Exactly.
& Joel: I love you.
Tiffany: Mmm, and I admire your spirit.
Joel: .... Thanks.
& Kyle: You weren’t kidding. Your story really is like a corny movie.
Molly: I know. The only difference is it’s not a movie. It’s our real life.
& Eggbert: Hi, Molly.
Molly: Hi, Mr. Flaps.
Eggbert: Oh, Please. My friends call me Eggbert.
Molly: Then they must not be very good friends.
Eggbert: No, that’s just my name. Eggbert. Or Eggman, for short. I know. It’s kind of a lame name, but what can you do?
& Eggbert: Listen, I am lookin’ over these numbers, and just goin’ off this data... You have breast cancer.
Molly: What?!
Eggbert: Corporately speaking.
Molly: Oh. Oh.
Eggbert: Your business has, at best, six months to live.
& Oliver: I think love is really abstract, you know? It’s like a summer breeze. You can’t see it, but you can feel it.
Frank: Mr. Poet. Look at you, always with your head in the clouds.
Oliver: Gloves make a poor present for a man with no hands.
& Joel: Hey, give me another one. And make it a double.
Bartender: You look like you’ve had a bad day.
Joel: Yeah. Tell me about it.
Bartender: Well, you came in here looking like crap, and you haven’t said very much.
Joel: You can say that again.
Bartender: Well, you came in here looking like crap, and you haven’t said very much.
Joel: Tell me about it.
Bartender: Well, you came in here looking like crap, and you haven’t said very much.
Joel: Yeah, you can say that again.
Bartender: Well, you came in here looking like crap, and you haven’t said very much.
Joel: Tell me about it.
Bartender: Well, you came in here looking like crap, and you haven’t said very much.
Joel: Yeah, you can say that again.
Bartender: Well, you came in here looking like crap, and you haven’t said very much.
Joel: Tell me about it.
Bartender: Well, you came in here looking like crap, and you haven’t said very much.
Joel: Yeah, you can say that again.
Bartender: Well, you came in here looking like crap, and you haven’t said very much.
Joel: Tell me about it.
Bartender: Well, you came in here looking like...
Kyle: Okay. We get the point. So what happened next?
Joel: I was just devastated.
& Joel: Look, Bob. Here’s the real truth. About three years ago, I was attacked by a group of trick-or-treat-ers. About 30 of them. They pinned me down, and they said, “Dick or teat?” It was obviously a play on, you know, “Trick or treat?”
Bob: Yeah.
Joel: They made me choose between their dicks and their teats. It was awful.
Bob: Joel, I know that. It was all over the news that year. But come on, man. You’ve gotta get over it, buddy.
& Molly: Look, are you the kind of person that I feel a strong connection to? Yes. Do I find you cute and funny? Yes. Could you be the guy that I could fall for and live with forever? Yes. But the point is, you’re a corporate robot. And so, it is with great pleasure that I say to you, go jump in a lake, meathead!
& Molly: I know this sounds crazy, but would you like to have a me of coffee with cup?
Joel: What?
Molly: Do you want a cup of me with koo-fie? Would you like to have a cup of moffie with kee? With me. A cup of coffee. With hoo.
Joel: What the fuck are you saying?
Molly: Do you want to have coffee with me?
Joel: I think you’re asking me if I’d like to have a cup of coffee with you.
Molly: Yes. Thank you. That’s what I’m trying to ask.
Joel: Coffee sounds great.
& Molly: You think you’re the only person that’s ever been hurt? Do you think it was easy for me to watch Frank go Downward Dog on the yoga instructor while they were lying on my mat? My mat, Joel!
Joel: I didn’t know.
Molly: You don’t know anything! I can’t even do yoga any more. I only do Pilates.
& Joel: I’m sorry.
Molly: You’re sorry? Thought you were Joel.
Joel: Actually, Joel is my middle name.
Molly: Sorry is your first name?
Joel: Billy is my first name.
Molly: Your name is Billy Joel?
Joel: Hmm... I never really thought about that before, but yeah. I guess it is.
& Roger: I want to make a toast. To my beautiful white daughter, Molly.
Pam: Hear, hear.
Joel: Wait, what?!
Roger: She is beautiful, isn’t she, Joel? Skin pure as the driven snow.
Pam: Completely unmongrelized.
Joel: Uh...
Roger: My beautiful Aryan princess, Molly.
Pam: To Molly.
Molly: Thanks, Mama.
Joel: What the fuck?
Pam: Joel, have you ever thought about how white people should be proud of their heritage, just like other people are?
Joel: No.
Pam: Do you realize because of the race mixers white people are now the minority in this country?
Roger: It’s a good point.
Molly: Guys, let’s not bore Joel. Justin, how’s school?
& Joel: How could you not tell me that your parents were white supremacists?
Molly: I didn’t think it was important, Joel.
Joel: Not important? Are you kidding? “Oh, hi, Mom. It’s me, Joel. Guess what? I’m dating this great girl. Her name’s Molly. By the way, she’s a Nazi.”
Molly: So they’re a little eccentric!
& Molly: Eggbert, I’m sorry. You’re a very nice man. But I would rather be alone and happy than with you and unhappy.
--
On the IMDb
Joel: Not quite. There is another character that was just as important as the two of us... New York City.
Karen: So New York City is like another character?
Molly: Yeah.
Kyle: So if there was a movie about your relationship, it would probably start with aerial shots of the Manhattan skyline.
Joel: Exactly.
& Joel: I love you.
Tiffany: Mmm, and I admire your spirit.
Joel: .... Thanks.
& Kyle: You weren’t kidding. Your story really is like a corny movie.
Molly: I know. The only difference is it’s not a movie. It’s our real life.
& Eggbert: Hi, Molly.
Molly: Hi, Mr. Flaps.
Eggbert: Oh, Please. My friends call me Eggbert.
Molly: Then they must not be very good friends.
Eggbert: No, that’s just my name. Eggbert. Or Eggman, for short. I know. It’s kind of a lame name, but what can you do?
& Eggbert: Listen, I am lookin’ over these numbers, and just goin’ off this data... You have breast cancer.
Molly: What?!
Eggbert: Corporately speaking.
Molly: Oh. Oh.
Eggbert: Your business has, at best, six months to live.
& Oliver: I think love is really abstract, you know? It’s like a summer breeze. You can’t see it, but you can feel it.
Frank: Mr. Poet. Look at you, always with your head in the clouds.
Oliver: Gloves make a poor present for a man with no hands.
& Joel: Hey, give me another one. And make it a double.
Bartender: You look like you’ve had a bad day.
Joel: Yeah. Tell me about it.
Bartender: Well, you came in here looking like crap, and you haven’t said very much.
Joel: You can say that again.
Bartender: Well, you came in here looking like crap, and you haven’t said very much.
Joel: Tell me about it.
Bartender: Well, you came in here looking like crap, and you haven’t said very much.
Joel: Yeah, you can say that again.
Bartender: Well, you came in here looking like crap, and you haven’t said very much.
Joel: Tell me about it.
Bartender: Well, you came in here looking like crap, and you haven’t said very much.
Joel: Yeah, you can say that again.
Bartender: Well, you came in here looking like crap, and you haven’t said very much.
Joel: Tell me about it.
Bartender: Well, you came in here looking like crap, and you haven’t said very much.
Joel: Yeah, you can say that again.
Bartender: Well, you came in here looking like crap, and you haven’t said very much.
Joel: Tell me about it.
Bartender: Well, you came in here looking like...
Kyle: Okay. We get the point. So what happened next?
Joel: I was just devastated.
& Joel: Look, Bob. Here’s the real truth. About three years ago, I was attacked by a group of trick-or-treat-ers. About 30 of them. They pinned me down, and they said, “Dick or teat?” It was obviously a play on, you know, “Trick or treat?”
Bob: Yeah.
Joel: They made me choose between their dicks and their teats. It was awful.
Bob: Joel, I know that. It was all over the news that year. But come on, man. You’ve gotta get over it, buddy.
& Molly: Look, are you the kind of person that I feel a strong connection to? Yes. Do I find you cute and funny? Yes. Could you be the guy that I could fall for and live with forever? Yes. But the point is, you’re a corporate robot. And so, it is with great pleasure that I say to you, go jump in a lake, meathead!
& Molly: I know this sounds crazy, but would you like to have a me of coffee with cup?
Joel: What?
Molly: Do you want a cup of me with koo-fie? Would you like to have a cup of moffie with kee? With me. A cup of coffee. With hoo.
Joel: What the fuck are you saying?
Molly: Do you want to have coffee with me?
Joel: I think you’re asking me if I’d like to have a cup of coffee with you.
Molly: Yes. Thank you. That’s what I’m trying to ask.
Joel: Coffee sounds great.
& Molly: You think you’re the only person that’s ever been hurt? Do you think it was easy for me to watch Frank go Downward Dog on the yoga instructor while they were lying on my mat? My mat, Joel!
Joel: I didn’t know.
Molly: You don’t know anything! I can’t even do yoga any more. I only do Pilates.
& Joel: I’m sorry.
Molly: You’re sorry? Thought you were Joel.
Joel: Actually, Joel is my middle name.
Molly: Sorry is your first name?
Joel: Billy is my first name.
Molly: Your name is Billy Joel?
Joel: Hmm... I never really thought about that before, but yeah. I guess it is.
& Roger: I want to make a toast. To my beautiful white daughter, Molly.
Pam: Hear, hear.
Joel: Wait, what?!
Roger: She is beautiful, isn’t she, Joel? Skin pure as the driven snow.
Pam: Completely unmongrelized.
Joel: Uh...
Roger: My beautiful Aryan princess, Molly.
Pam: To Molly.
Molly: Thanks, Mama.
Joel: What the fuck?
Pam: Joel, have you ever thought about how white people should be proud of their heritage, just like other people are?
Joel: No.
Pam: Do you realize because of the race mixers white people are now the minority in this country?
Roger: It’s a good point.
Molly: Guys, let’s not bore Joel. Justin, how’s school?
& Joel: How could you not tell me that your parents were white supremacists?
Molly: I didn’t think it was important, Joel.
Joel: Not important? Are you kidding? “Oh, hi, Mom. It’s me, Joel. Guess what? I’m dating this great girl. Her name’s Molly. By the way, she’s a Nazi.”
Molly: So they’re a little eccentric!
& Molly: Eggbert, I’m sorry. You’re a very nice man. But I would rather be alone and happy than with you and unhappy.
--
On the IMDb
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