Run for Your Wife

Modern Family 1×6

& Luke: Dad?
    Phil: Come on, we’re only halfway done!
    Luke: I need help. I was supposed to keep a journal all summer. It’s due today.
    Phil: Wow, first day of school, and you’re already behind?
    Luke: I’m dead...

& Mitchell: Why is our daughter dressed like Donna Summer?
    Cameron: She is not Donna Summer. Clearly, she’s Diana Ross from the RCA years.

& Alex: A little help here?
    Phil: This is why we suggested the violin.
    Alex: The cello is more in demand in university orchestras.
    Haley: You know what’s not in demand?.. Girls who play in university orchestras.

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& Phil: A lot of guys wouldn’t even notice. But I’m not a lot of guys. I listen with my mind, and if you pay attention, women will tell you what they want by telling you the opposite of what they want. Like, the other day, Claire was like, “you have to move your car. There’s no space in the garage for both of our cars.” And what she’s really saying is that, you know, I should probably get a sports car.

& Mitchell: Uh, not a big deal, just wondering— When your kids were small, did you ever... I don’t know, uh, smack their heads into a wall?
    Claire: Usually, we just gave time-outs...

& Jay: To see your kid get picked on every day, getting tormented just because he’s different. Now, I’m telling you, it rips your heart out.
    Gloria: Well, Batman doesn’t get picked on, and he wears a cape. A poncho is just a cape that goes all the way around.

& Claire: We do strange things for the people we love. We lie for them. They are may become bumps along the way. But we never stop wanting the best for them. That’s what makes it such a tough job... To be a family. But kind of the best job in the world.

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On the IMDb