& Fabious: Belladonna...
Belladonna: Oh, Fabious, I can’t wait until the cervix* is over, and to lie together as one...
Fabious: No, the service. The cervix is a circular wing of muscles that contracts or expands. It’s up in your vagina. That’s where my penis will go after the wedding.
& Leezar: I’m here to get her back.
King Tallious: And just how do you plan on doing that?
Leezar: Magic, motherfucker.
& Leezar: Do you honestly think your band of worms can stop me? Arise therefore, my mothers!
& Wize Wizard: ...if you can find your way, the blade will be yours.
Fabious: Thank you, Wize Wizard!
Wize Wizard: Not so fast. First you must answer a riddle. What journey be long and twisted and sensitive at hand? To what end must man go to discover the depths of his ecstasy? Think hard, strong warriors.
Fabious: Fuck, I know this. Oh. I’ve got it! You want us to twist what is long with our sensitive hands.
Thadeous: He wants us to jerk him off!
Wize Wizard: Just punch the tip and twist it.
Thadeous: We are not going to do that.
Fabious: If it’s for the quest, we will do what needs to be done. I’ll work the tip, you tickle his balls.
Thadeous: Yuck!
& Thadeous: Courtney, will you make funny faces to entertain me? ... No! Never triangle-face! I hate triangle face! It scares me!
& Fabious: Boremont, seize Julie, I’m afraid he’s betrayed us! That thing is a dickless traitor!
& Fabious: Under the cart you go!
& Leezar: I remember looking at you all those years ago and thinking, “Wow, that’s a baby. And that’s the baby that someday I will have to have sex with.” Now, look at me... A 19-year-old boy, almost a man, still a virgin...
Mother: To the fuckening!
Leezar: Yes, to the fuckening!
& Courtney: Shit!
Fabious: You have to suck out the venom!
Thadeous: I don’t want to suck it, you suck it!
Fabious: I can’t suck my own venom!
Thadeous: Yes you can! I’ll help you!
Thadeous: Suck it! Suck your venom!
Fabious: I can’t reach it with my mouth!
Thadeous: Courtney, suck the venom!
Courtney: But I’ve never...
Thadeous: Suck it!
& Leezar: What are you laughing at?
Belladonna: I was just thinking about your penis and how unusual it must look.
Leezar: It doesn’t look unusual.
Belladonna: How do you know it’s going to work?
Leezar: Because I’ve tested it.
Belladonna: Really?
Leezar: And if your vagina is anything like my hand there will be no problem.
& Thadeous: Fuck Courtney, and fuck you! Maybe they’re right, everything they say about you. They only say that stuff because of you, because you go out and have to pretend to be the best. And they look at me like I’m some sort of idiot. Everyone in the kingdom wants to suck your dick. No one wants to suck mine!
& Courtney: You believe it to be as easy as that, sir?
Thadeous: Courtney, she is a woman, and we are a man. How hard could this be?
Courtney: It’s my birthday today, you know.
Thadeous: Fuck that.
& Fabious: Boremont! You dare to betray me twice?
Boremont: No, it’s the same betrayal as before. It all just counts as one.
& Thadeous: Not so fast, trickster.
Isabel: Hello, Thadeous.
Thadeous: The time for pleasantries is through. Do you feel that tiny prick in your back?
Isabel: Is that your cock?
Thadeous: No, ’tis a knife, but I’ll gladly penetrate you with it.
& Thadeous: Your quest is to kill Leezar?
Isabel: Yes. My family is the order of the Golden Knights. We’re sworn to obstruct the prophecy of the dragon eclipse.
Thadeous: That’s what the Golden Knights do?
Isabel: It is my legacy to stop anyone who wants to fuck to make dragons.
& Isabel: We’ve had our differences, but if we work together, we can save your brother, avenge my family, and destroy Leezar once and for all!
Thadeous: This woman is mad.
& Courtney: That’s very sweet but I am not a female Minotaur... Ow! His worm is tickling me. Get off of me! ... I’m not enjoying this!
& Leezar: You’re too late! The fuckening has begun.
& Thadeous: Adiós, motherfucker!
Courtney: Teamwork!
& Fabious: God, I never wanted it to end like this, old friend.
Boremont: Master Fabious. I loved you!
Fabious: I loved you, too, Boremont. As only a knight can love a knight.
Boremont: No. I loved you as a man loves another man.
Fabious: Oh.
& Thadeous: Quick! We must hurry! What?! No, no, don’t suck that! That’s dead!
& Leezar: Step away from my virgin!
Thadeous: She’s my brother’s virgin! If you want to fuck her, you’ll have to fuck me first.
Leezar: It would be my pleasure.
& Thadeous: Think I’m beginning to like the feel of blood and filth upon these fingers. Perhaps I will never bathe again. Unless, of course, there were a bitch brave enough to bathe beside me.
& Thadeous: Here. To remember me.
Isabel: Oh. I don’t want that thing touching me.
Thadeous: Say hello.
Isabel: Oh. No.
Thadeous: I fucking killed this dick. Take it.
Isabel: No, it’s yours. I cannot accept another warrior’s trophy.
Thadeous: Courtney, take my dick.
Isabel: Till we meet again.
& Thadeous: Finally. Alone. Hello, there. Cock-a-doodle-do.
& Fabious: I had so much fun on our adventure together.
Thadeous: Yes, I know. You have told me 15 fucking times now.
& Fabious: Well, I’m off to sleep with Belladonna. I’m a little nervous.
Thadeous: Don’t be. Just swing your cock with the same strength you swing your sword, and I’m sure all will be fine.
& Isabel: I’ve not been able to stop thinking of you.
Thadeous: What a coincidence. I was just about to finish thinking of you.
& Thadeous: I was hoping to have a few hours of just doing nothing, perhaps just relaxing.
Isabel: Let’s just stay here and snuggle*.
Thadeous: Hmm... No, fuck it. Let’s kill that bitch.
-- Dict:
cervix — шейка матки
snuggle — прильнуть; прижаться
+ on Imdb.
__ Truly disgusting.
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