My Name Is Earl 4x4

Stole an RV

& Earl: Randy, wait! Every now and then Randy found a new hat, which brought the unwelcome addition of lice* and a new personality.
   Randy: Let’s go get some chicken wings.
   Randy: Howdy, pilgrim.
   Randy: Yo, yo, yo, what’s up, my home Earl?
   Earl: But Randy hadn’t found a hat in a while, and I was hoping this time, it’d be different.
   Randy: Wouldst thou fancy a beer? I certainly shall.

& Randy: Darnell, I do believe I’ll have a beer in a glass. And why don’t we throw a cherry on top? ... Thank you, my fine sir.
   Kenny: Oh, so suave.
   Darnell: I feel like I’m in Rick’s Cafe American.
   Earl: ???
   Kenny: Casablanca.
   Darnell: They don’t watch black & white movies, ’cause it reminds them too much of newspapers.
   Kenny: They don’t watch black and white movies because it reminds whom too much of newspapers.
   Randy: Now, if you’ll excuse me, therefore, what for, wherewithal, henceforth, English muffins.

---

& Earl: Joy was getting started on her get-rich-quick pig plan.
   Darnell: Baby, the boys are hungry. Where’s the bacon?
   Joy: On the end of this string. Soon as Pigsquatch gets a whiff* of it, I’m going to pull the string, lure him to me, and then knock him out with a baseball bat.
   Darnell: You can’t catch a pig with bacon. That’s like trying to catch a cow with a cheeseburger.
   Joy: I’m hearing a lot of “no” and “can’t” from you right now, if you’re not gonna get with the pig-catching program, shut up.
   Darnell: All I’m saying is, the boys are drinking Tom Collins mix for breakfast. We can’t send them to school like that.

& Earl: Holy crap! You caught Pigsquatch?! How’d you do it?
   Joy: Put some sleeping pills in a bucket of slop. Basically, the pig version of how I got you to marry me.

& Earl: Jerry and his buddy were caught behind enemy lines when Jerry got wounded.
   Joe: Jerry, we both can’t make it.
   Jerry: No, don’t go! Haven’t you seen the movies? “Never leave a man behind.”
   Joe: No, but I’ve seen the ones where they say, “Go on without me.” Sometimes they even say, “Marry my best girl!” Sorry!

& Joe: You guys don’t seem to understand what we’re dealing with here. I saw Jerry kill three Koreans with a single bullet... No gun. Just pressed the bullet right into their skulls.

--Dict:
lice — вши
whiff — дуновение

+ on Imdb.