Monkeys Take a Bath
& Joy: Darnell,check it out! It’s one of them IQ machines. Try to get the ball in the furthest hole and, if you do, you’re a genius. I used to play this at the mall when we would skip school. I was the only one that could get genius every time. They called me “The Ball Genius.” In the seventh grade, that name took on a new meaning, but this is where it all started.
& Darnell: What are you doing?!
Joy: I’m not stealing it! I’m just going to hold on to it so nobody buys this thing. Couple of hours, they’ll be begging us to take it off their hands. “Ball genius!”
& Carl Hickey: Women!.. You’re with them for 40 years! You learn the special way to fold the towels! You go see Neil Sedaka at the Civic center! You even put up one of those piece of crap Thomas Kincaide paintings in the bedroom... And what?
Earl: I hear ya! You steal for them, fight for them, they still hand you a different-colored baby from a different-colored father... Bitches!
& Kay Hickey: I know it was wrong, I do, but it’s not like he didn’t push me there. He was never home. And when he was, well, let... let’s just say your father does not know his way around a woman’s body. H’s got two moves. Squeeze the charmin and poke around down there like he’s trying to pop a balloon.
Randy: Yeah, that guy sure is terrible at touching moms.
Kay Hickey: Hey, know what might make us feel better?..
Randy: Not talking about this stuff!
Kay Hickey: I mean, what do I have to do, draw him a map of my vagina?
Randy: Oops. I’ll go get us more drinks.
& Carl Hickey: I would like a box of your largest condoms. Ripped for their pleasure. And by their pleasure, I mean yours.
& Earl: Anger’s a heavy burden to carry, but dad realized that revenge didn’t make it any lighter. Forgiveness did. And forgiveness lightened the burd of guilt, too.
& Earl: Joy, I forgive you for cheating on me.
Joy: Good, ’cause I’d do it again in a heartbeat.
+ on Imdb.
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