Gnomeo & Juliet

& The story you are about to see has been told before. A lot. And now we are going to tell it again. But different. ... Unfortunately, before we begin, there is a rather long, boring prologue, which I will read to you now.

& Lady Bluebury: Your tulips are looking a little limp this year, aren’t they?
    Lord Redbrick: Oh! I don’t like what you’re incinerating.
    Lady Bluebury: The proper word is “insinuating.” Illiterate*.
    Lord Redbrick: I am not illiterate! My parents were married!

& Dolly: OK, boys, y’all know the rules, and I don’t need to repeat them. But I’m gonna, because I wanna. And here they are: No biting, no scratching, no kicking, no burping, no slurping, no cussing, no squalling, no rassling, no heeing, no hawing, and more than anything, no cheating!
    Fawn: No cheating? Hey, that’s not fair!

& You’re the greatest, boss. The greatest by far. The greatest! The greatest by far!
    Tybalt: Oh! Please, please, my friends. Tell me something I don’t already know.

& Gnomeo: Shroom, let’s go kick some grass.

& Fishing Gnome: I got one!
    Juliet: Swim away. Be free.

& Juliet: I’m gonna need you to cover, Nanette. If my dad asks, just tell him I’m washing my hair.
    Nanette: “I’m washing my hair.” I don’t have hair! He’ll know it’s a lie!
    Juliet: No, my hair!
    Nanette: Got it! I’m washing your hair!

& Nanette: Here. That is cute. Give us a turn. Nice junk in the trunk. Now, go get your flower.
    Juliet: Uh... Maybe a tad less fluorescent pink?
    Nanette: How much less?
    Juliet: Try black.

& Fawn: Let’s play a game. I’m thinking of a movie. It’s one word, and it starts with, um, “Spider.”

& Fawn: OK, I have another one. Two words. The first word is “Spider-Man.”
    Gnomes: Spider-Man 2?
    Fawn: OK, who’s cheating?

& Nanette: You met a boy!
    Juliet: What? No. Well, maybe, sort of. Um... Yes. Yes, I did.
    Nanette: I need details! And go slowly!

& Nanette: Oh! Juliet! This is fantastic!
    Juliet: Is it?
    Nanette: It’s doomed.
    Juliet: What?
    Nanette: A Red and a Blue. It just can’t be. So it’s a doomed love, and that’s the best kind. You’ll never see him again. And then one day when you die, you’ll be all... “Oh, my true love. I only saw him once.” ... How romantically tragic. Your love is doomed. Your love is dead. ...

---

& Juliet: O Gnomeo, Gnomeo, are we really doomed, Gnomeo, to never see each other again? Why must you wear a blue hat? Why couldn’t it be red like my father, or... or green like a leprechaun? Or purple like, um... like, uh... like some weird guy? I mean, what’s in a gnome? Because you’re blue, my father sees red, and because I’m red, I’m feeling blue.

& Juliet: Are you crazy? If Dad finds you, he’ll bury you under the patio!
    Gnomeo: Find me! You kidding? “Stealth” is my middle name.

& Lord Redbrick: What’s going on here?
    Juliet: Um... It was a... um... I saw a squirrel, and he... he dropped his nuts.
    Nanette: Yes, nuts, the size of... boulders*!

& Lord Redbrick: Juliet, is there something wrong with the pond?
    Juliet: The pond? No. What, this pond? No, it’s fine. I mean, it’s just as pondy as ever.

& Nanette: OK, bye-bye then. Off you go. Thanks for popping by. Good night, sweet prince, and flights of angels... or pigeons or sparrows or whatever. Parting is such sweet sorrow.

& Fawn: So, what are we going to do?
    Tybalt: Find their weak spots.
    Fawn: Then what are we going to do?
    Tybalt: Damage. Lots and lots of damage.

& Advert: Terrafirminator! It’s the most ruthless, 500-horsepower, grass-dominating piece of hardware the world has ever seen! It’s unnecessarily powerful! Now with 75 percent more power! ... Your lawn will be afraid to grow!Terrafirminator! It’s a weapon of grass destruction Terrafirminator will not inhibit grass from growing.

& Juliet: He’s a Blue!
    Gnomeo: And she’s a Red!
    Featherstone: And I’m pink! Who cares?!

& Featherstone: You know, we still gotta do something about these weeds.
    Juliet: They’re not weeds. Those dandelions are wishes.
    Featherstone: I don’t know. A weed by any other name is still a weed.

& Benny: No, not now, Shroom! Right. Got it! OK. OK! Little mushroom dude, I’m coming. What? What are you trying to say? So, Little Timmy has fallen down the well? No? Little John? Little Mustafa? Little Richard? What?

& Juliet: My dad can really pick them. Oh! This is painful.
    Nanette: Oh! Sweet torture.

& Featherstone: Whoo-hoo!
    Gnomeo: Featherstone!
    Featherstone: One word! Plastic.

& Gnomeo: How did you find me? Shroom!
    Featherstone: He sniffed you out. And he doesn’t have a nose. I checked.

& Lord Redbrick: Attack!
    Lady Bluebury: Counterattack!
    Lord Redbrick: Counter-counterattack!

-- Dict:
Illiterate — неграмотный
boulders — валуны

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