Psychoville 1x5

Joy

& Bob Dalton: How do you go to the toilet? I’m assuming each of you has your own anus? Is it equal or does one go more than the other?
    Mr. Lomax: Oh, do you mind?!
    Bob Dalton: I’m interested. We don’t get a lot of this kind of thing in Dudley.

& Nurse: Ah, you’re are awake. I’ll get Doctor Mekos. Your boyfriend’s got to leave now.
    Debbie: Boyfriend?
    Robert: ... Yeah... I’m your boyfriend.
    Debbie: How long?
    Robert: About...
    Debbie: No, I mean, how long have we been together?
    Robert: Oh, two years.
    Debbie: Really? Lucky me.

& John George Haigh: So, what did you want to see me about?
    David: You know I done that bad murder at the hotel?
    Haigh: Yes, and do you know we’ve lost business with that hotel now. They won’t have us back. Fancy you smearing the walls with your own excrement! You could have used Nutella, it’s exactly the same.
    David: First we went to see Graham. He wanted to call the police...
    Haigh: Yes, well, since Graham’s unfortunate accident, I’m in charge of the company so you can deal with me from now on.
    David: Then we went to see Cheryl. She had a big mouth. ... And then we went to see Martin. He got all choked up.
    Haigh: He was only ever good for playing dead bodies.
    David: Now we’ve come to see you.

& Haigh: This is a perfect place to do a murder.
    David: Yeah... it is.

---

& Joy: George. No! George!
    Freddy Fruitcake: Dada dead.

& George: Well, done, Freddy. And that’s the end of silly old Mummy.
    Freddy Fruitcake: Silly old Mummy...
    George: Come and give Dada a kiss!

& Nurse Edwina Kenchington: How’s my little mouse this morning? Oh, it hasn’t eaten its cheese.
    Robert: I don’t like cheese, Nurse Kenchington! Can I have some other food, please?
    Nurse Kenchington: I’m starving. Squeak, squeak. Nothing but cheese for this little mouse.

& Maureen: So what did you do then?
    David: Um... strangle.
    Maureen: Strangle? What a waste, I thought you’d have had more fun with it with all this at your fingertips.

& Bob Dalton: So when one of you’s having sex, what do you do with the other one? Do you just chuck a duvet over it?
    Kelly Su Crabtree: No, we come apart with Velcro.
    Bob Dalton: Oh, that’s handy.


On Imdb.