My Name Is Earl 2x08

Robbed a Stoner Blind

Season 2, Episode 8

* Earl: We even tried smoking weed for the first time, but it wasn't for us. I kept having to check to see if I peed myself. And poor Randy was so high, he spent four and a half hours looking for his nose.


* Earl: What is that thing, a robot?
   Joy: My deaf lawyer said that if I could pass a lie detector test saying that I didn't steal that truck, it'll help my case. So, I stole this old one from a swap meet.
   Darnell: Don't bother trying to explain the irony; she doesn't see it.


* Randy: There's a naked old lady in the bush...
   Earl: I know Randy.
   Randy: What do we do? What do we do?
   Earl: Just don't panic. Don't panic. Randy, you're panicking.
   Randy: What do we do?
   Earl: Don't panic! Don't panic!


* Randy: We should get out of here, Earl. This place isn't natural. You know what someone told me last night? They said they don't believe in plastic. That's just crazy! Plastic exists; I've seen it.


* Randy: I need to eat an animal!

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* Woody Maruzak: If we want our children and our children's children to keep living on Earth, we got to keep reducing greenhouse gases and reverse global warming. You know what global warming is, right?
   Earl: Chemistry, geography, algebra, vocabulary... Nope.


* Earl: I was feeling so good about saving the planet, I even gave up the biggest status symbol an American has.
   Joy: Hey! Lance Armstrong! Don't you know riding bikes gives you nut cancer?


* Earl: I wasn't being cancelled out by all the people in Camden. I was being canceled out by the whole world. It doesn't matter what I do! Millions of people are undoing it. What, am I supposed to go to China and convince everybody to ride bicycles? They'll never go for that. We're all screwed, man! Scre-ewed!


* Earl: I don't know what to do, Woody. I can't un-know what I know, and I can't keep people from doing what they shouldn't do.
   Woody: There's a lot in life, you... you can't control. I mean, like, every time it rains, our houses dissolve. All you can do is keep feeding the cows and rebuilding.


* Woody: Don't try to think global you'll drive yourself crazy. Think local.
   Just take five minutes a day to do something you wouldn't normally do. If everybody did that, global warming wouldn't be a problem. You dig?
   Oh, and, uh, you know what they said about eating an apple a day? Don't, 'cause they're loaded with pesticides.


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