The Big Bang Theory 2x11

The Bath Item Gift Hypothesis

Season 2, Episode 11

* Penny: Hey, Sheldon, are you and Leonard putting up a Christmas tree?
   Sheldon: No, because we don't celebrate the ancient pagan festival of Saturnalia.
   Penny: Saturnalia?
   Howard: Gather round, kids, it's time for Sheldon's beloved Christmas special.
   Sheldon: In the pre-Christian era, as the winter solstice approached and the plants died, pagans brought evergreen boughs into their homes as an act of sympathetic magic, intended to guard the life essences of the plants until spring. This custom was later appropriated by Northern Europeans and eventually it becomes the so-called Christmas tree.
   Howard: And that, Charlie Brown, is what boredom is all about.


* Penny: Sheldon, I am very, very sorry.
   Sheldon: No. No, I brought this on myself by being such an endearing and important part of your life.


* Penny: Hey, Leonard. Dave was just showing me around the university. You know, this place is unbelievable!
   Leonard: Yeah, I know. I've been offering to show you around for a year and a half. You always said you had yoga.
   Penny: I never said that.
   Leonard: Maybe I heard you wrong. A lot of words sound like "yoga."


* Penny: Leonard, look! Sheldon's hugging me.
   Leonard: It's a Saturnalia miracle.

---

* Penny: Okay, well, thank you for that, but I got you and Leonard a few silly neighbor gifts, so I'll just put them under my tree.
   Sheldon: Wait! You bought me a present? Why would you do such a thing?
   Penny: I don't know. 'Cause it's Christmas?
   Sheldon: Oh, Penny. I know you think you're being generous, but the foundation of gift-giving is reciprocity. You haven't given me a gift. You've given me an obligation.
   Howard: Don't feel bad, Penny, it's a classic rookie mistake. My first Hanukkah with Sheldon, he yelled at me for eight nights.
   Penny: Now, hey, it's okay.You don't have to get me anything in return.
   Sheldon: Of course I do. The essence of the custom is that I now have to go out and purchase for you a gift of commensurate value and representing the same perceived level of friendship as that represented by the gift you've given me. It's no wonder suicide rates skyrocket this time of year.


* Sheldon: Mmm, great news, Leonard. I've solved my Penny gift dilemma.
   Leonard: Yippee.
   Sheldon: You see, the danger was that I might under or over-reciprocate, but I have devised a foolproof plan.
   See, I will open her gift to me first and then excuse myself, feigning digestive distress. Then I'll look up the price of her gift online, choose the basket closest to that value, give it to her and then I'll return the others for a full refund.


* Sheldon: Gentlemen.
   Raj: Why couldn't you have just done what Leonard did and get Penny a new boyfriend?
   Leonard: My leg is killing me. Thanks for asking.



--- Словарик:
solstice — солнцестояние
boredom — скука, тоска
generous — великодушный; щедрый
reciprocity — взаимность, обоюдность; обмен (услугами, любезностями)
commensurate — соответственный; соразмерный; соизмеримый
endearing — милый, привлекательный, внушающий любовь
feign — притворяться, симулировать; прикидываться



Leonard Nimoy


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