The Codpiece Topology
Season 2, Episode 2
* Howard: Penny with a new guy, tres awkward.
Leonard: It wasn't awkward. It wasn't fun. Besides, what's the big deal? We dated, we stopped dating, and now we're both moving on.
Rajesh: By moving on, do you mean she's going out with other men, and you spent the afternoon making 15th-century soap with Wolowitz?
* Leonard: You know what,I'm happy that Penny's moving on. It gives me the freedom to move on myself.
Howard: Are you saying that you've been holding back?
Leonard: Of course. Out of respect.
Howard: So, how do you explain the ten years before Penny?
Rajesh: Who were you respecting then?
* Leonard: Well, I've dated plenty of women. There was Joyce Kim... Leslie Winkle...
Sheldon: Notify the editors of the Oxford English dictionary. The word "plenty" has been redefined to mean "two."
* Leonard: Look, I like Leslie, but she's not interested in dating as much as using
men as tools for stress release.
Howard: Yeah, so? Be a tool.
* Sheldon: You know how I know we're not in the Matrix?
Leonard: How?
Sheldon: If we were, the food would be better.
* Penny: It wasn't my cat. It was an experiment designed by this guy named Schroedinger.
Penny's boyfriend: From the charlie brown cartoons?
Penny: No, he was some kind of scientist. Let me start again.
* Leslie: Now that you're unattached, maybe we can revisit our previous attachment.
Leonard: Are you suggesting another bout of stress release?
Leslie: No, I'm all done with casual sex. From now on, I'm fully committed to the traditional relationship paradigm.
Leonard: Really? What changed?
Leslie: It's hard to say. I guess there's just a time in every woman's life when she gets tired of waking up on a strange futon with a bunch of people she doesn't know.
Leonard: Yeah, I can see how that would... a bunch of people?!?!
Leslie: Anyway, I figure it's time to slow things down, and who better to slow things down with than you?
* Leonard: So how do you suggest we proceed?
Leslie: Your place, we'll order chinese, you'll rent a movie... Artsy, but accessible... then light petting, no coitus.
Leonard: Sounds fun.
Leslie: I'll leave the details up to you. I think it's better if you assume the male role.
* Leslie: Are you sure you're okay postponing intercourse until our relationship is past the initial viability test?
Leonard: No, problem. I'm very skilled at postponing intercourse. I guess I'll call you, and we'll arrange another evening.
Leslie: Yes, I believe protocol dictates that you wait a minimum of 18 hours before you call so I'm not repulsed by your cloying eagerness.
* Sheldon: If you're having trouble deciding where to sit, may I suggest one potato, two potato? Or as I call it, "The Leslie Winkle experimental methodology."
Leonard: Don't make this hard for me.
Sheldon: It's not hard. It's simple. You can either sit with me, your friend, colleague and roommate. Or you can sit with an overrated scientist you might have sex with.
Leonard: You're right, it is simple.
* Penny: I still don't understand why you don't just go to dinner or something.
Sheldon: All right, let's say I go to dinner alone, and during the meal, I have to use the restroom. How do I know someone's not touching my food?
Penny: Good night, Sheldon.
* Penny: Sheldon, you are a smart guy. You must know...
Sheldon: I'm "smart"? I'd have to lose 60 IQ points to be classified as "smart."
* Penny: You must know that if Leonard and Leslie want to be together, nothing you can do is gonna stop it.
Sheldon: You continue to underestimate my capabilities, madam.
* Sheldon: Oh, Mario, if only I could control everyone the way I control you. Hop, you little plumber, hop, hop, hop.
* Leslie: You agree with me, right? Loop quantum gravity is the future of physics.
Leonard: Sorry, Leslie, I guess I prefer my space stringy, not loopy.
Leslie: I'm glad I found out the truth about you before this went any further.
Leonard: Truth? What truth? We're talking about untested hypotheses. It's no big deal.
Leslie: It isn't? Really? Tell me, Leonard, how will we raise the children?
Leonard: I... I guess we wait until they're old enough and let them choose their own theory.
Leslie: We can't let them choose, Leonard. They're children!
Leonard: Wait. Where are you going?
Leslie: I'm sorry. I could have accepted our kids being genetically unable to eat ice cream or ever get a good view of a parade. But this? This is a deal breaker.
--- Словарик:
Codpiece — гульфик (на панталонах)
Out of respect — из уважения
bout — раз, приём; схватка; встреча; бой; заезд
intercourse — общение; связь; сношения
eagerness — пыл, рвение; стремление
+ Еще quotes с Imdb.
Комментариев нет:
Отправить комментарий