& Frodo: hey all say they’re coming. Except for the Sackville-Bagginses, who are demanding you ask them in person.
Bilbo: Are they, indeed? Over my dead body.
Frodo: They’d probably find that quite agreeable. They seem to think you have tunnels... overflowing with gold.
Bilbo: It was one small chest! Hardly overflowing. And it still smells of Troll.
& Bilbo: In those days, I was always on time. I was entirely respectable. And nothing unexpected... ever happened.
& Bilbo: Good morning.
Gandalf: What do you mean? Do you wish me a good morning... or do you mean that it is a good morning whether I want it or not? Or perhaps you mean to say that you feel good on this particular morning? Or are you simply stating that this is a morning to be good on? Hm?
Bilbo: ... All of them at once, I suppose.
& Bilbo: Can I help you?
Gandalf: That remains to be seen.
& Gandalf: I’m looking for someone to share in an adventure.
Bilbo: An adventure?.. Nasty, disturbing, uncomfortable things.
& Balin: Balin, at your service.
Bilbo: Good evening.
Balin: ... Yes. Yes, it is. Though I think it might rain later.
& Gandalf: What’s the matter?
Bilbo: I’m surrounded by Dwarves! What are they doing here?
Gandalf: Oh, they’re quite a merry gathering once you get used to them.
& Thorin: So... this is the Hobbit. Tell me, Mr. Baggins, have you done much fighting?
Bilbo: Pardon me?
Thorin: Ax or sword? What’s your weapon of choice?
Bilbo: Well, I do have some skill at conkers, if you must know... but I fail to see why that’s relevant.
& Gandalf: f we are careful and clever, I believe that it can be done. That’s why we need a burglar. And a good one too.
Bilbo: An expert, I’d imagine...
Gloin: And are you?
Bilbo: Am I what?
Gloin: He said he’s an expert!
& Gandalf: ou asked me to find the 14th member of this company and I have chosen Mr. Baggins. There’s a lot more to him than appearances suggest. And he’s got a great deal more to offer than any of you know. Including himself. You must trust me on this.
& Thorin: Give him the contract.
Balin: It’s just the usual. Summary of out-of-pocket expenses... time required, remuneration... funeral arrangements, so forth.
Bilbo: Funeral arrangements?
Balin: I cannot guarantee his safety.
Bilbo: Understood.
Balin: Nor will I be responsible for his fate.
Bilbo: Agreed. “Terms: Cash on delivery, up to but not exceeding one-fourteenth of total profit, if any.” Hmm. Seems fair. “Present company shall not be liable for injuries inflicted by... or sustained as a consequence thereof, including, but not limited to incineration... evisceration...” Incineration?!
Gloin: Aye. He’II melt the flesh off your bones in the blink of an eye. ... You all right, laddie?
Bilbo: Huh? Yeah. Feel a bit faint.
& Gandalf: The world is not in your books and maps. It’s out there.
& Gandalf: ... And thus, the battle was won. And the game of golf invented at the same time.
Bilbo: I do believe you made that up.
Gandalf: Well, all good stories deserve embellishment. You’II have a tale or two to tell of your own when you come back.
Bilbo: Can you promise that I will come back?
Gandalf: No. And if you do... you will not be the same.
& Thorin: There are a few warriors amongst us. Old warriors. I would take each and every one of these Dwarves... over an army from the Iron Hills. For when I called upon them, they answered. Loyalty, honor... a willing heart. I can ask no more than that.
& Bilbo: No, wait, wait, stop. Stop! We have to turn around.
Gandalf: What on earth is the matter?
Bilbo: I forgot my handkerchief.
& Bilbo: Gandalf, where are you going?
Gandalf: To seek the company of the only one around here who’s got any sense.
Bilbo: And who’s that?
Gandalf: Myself, Mr. Baggins. I’ve had enough of Dwarves for one day.
& Bert: Mutton yesterday, mutton today... and, blimey, if it don’t look like mutton again tomorrow.
& Bilbo: Where did you go to, if I may ask?
Gandalf: To look ahead.
Bilbo: What brought you back?
Gandalf: Looking behind.
& Bilbo: I have never used a sword in my life.
Gandalf: And I hope you never have to. But if you do, remember this: True courage is about knowing not when to take a life... but when to spare one.
& Gandalf: But Radagast has seen...
Saruman: Radagast? Do not speak to me of Radagast the Brown. He’s a foolish fellow.
Gandalf: Well, he’s odd, I grant you. He lives a solitary life.
Saruman: It’s not that. It’s his excessive consumption of mushrooms. They’ve addled his brain and yellowed his teeth. I’ve warned him.
& Galadriel: Why Bilbo Baggins?
Gandalf: Perhaps it is because I’m afraid... and he gives me courage.
& Thorin: Did I not say that you would be a burden? That you would not survive in the Wild? That you had no place amongst us?.. I have never been so wrong in all my life. But I’m sorry I doubted you.
Bilbo: No, I would have doubted me too. I’m not a hero or a warrior. Not even a burglar.
& Bilbo: I do believe the worst is behind us...
Ω Bazinga!
--
+ quotes on the IMDb
Bilbo: Are they, indeed? Over my dead body.
Frodo: They’d probably find that quite agreeable. They seem to think you have tunnels... overflowing with gold.
Bilbo: It was one small chest! Hardly overflowing. And it still smells of Troll.
& Bilbo: In those days, I was always on time. I was entirely respectable. And nothing unexpected... ever happened.
& Bilbo: Good morning.
Gandalf: What do you mean? Do you wish me a good morning... or do you mean that it is a good morning whether I want it or not? Or perhaps you mean to say that you feel good on this particular morning? Or are you simply stating that this is a morning to be good on? Hm?
Bilbo: ... All of them at once, I suppose.
& Bilbo: Can I help you?
Gandalf: That remains to be seen.
& Gandalf: I’m looking for someone to share in an adventure.
Bilbo: An adventure?.. Nasty, disturbing, uncomfortable things.
& Balin: Balin, at your service.
Bilbo: Good evening.
Balin: ... Yes. Yes, it is. Though I think it might rain later.
& Gandalf: What’s the matter?
Bilbo: I’m surrounded by Dwarves! What are they doing here?
Gandalf: Oh, they’re quite a merry gathering once you get used to them.
& Thorin: So... this is the Hobbit. Tell me, Mr. Baggins, have you done much fighting?
Bilbo: Pardon me?
Thorin: Ax or sword? What’s your weapon of choice?
Bilbo: Well, I do have some skill at conkers, if you must know... but I fail to see why that’s relevant.
& Gandalf: f we are careful and clever, I believe that it can be done. That’s why we need a burglar. And a good one too.
Bilbo: An expert, I’d imagine...
Gloin: And are you?
Bilbo: Am I what?
Gloin: He said he’s an expert!
& Gandalf: ou asked me to find the 14th member of this company and I have chosen Mr. Baggins. There’s a lot more to him than appearances suggest. And he’s got a great deal more to offer than any of you know. Including himself. You must trust me on this.
& Thorin: Give him the contract.
Balin: It’s just the usual. Summary of out-of-pocket expenses... time required, remuneration... funeral arrangements, so forth.
Bilbo: Funeral arrangements?
Balin: I cannot guarantee his safety.
Bilbo: Understood.
Balin: Nor will I be responsible for his fate.
Bilbo: Agreed. “Terms: Cash on delivery, up to but not exceeding one-fourteenth of total profit, if any.” Hmm. Seems fair. “Present company shall not be liable for injuries inflicted by... or sustained as a consequence thereof, including, but not limited to incineration... evisceration...” Incineration?!
Gloin: Aye. He’II melt the flesh off your bones in the blink of an eye. ... You all right, laddie?
Bilbo: Huh? Yeah. Feel a bit faint.
& Gandalf: The world is not in your books and maps. It’s out there.
& Gandalf: ... And thus, the battle was won. And the game of golf invented at the same time.
Bilbo: I do believe you made that up.
Gandalf: Well, all good stories deserve embellishment. You’II have a tale or two to tell of your own when you come back.
Bilbo: Can you promise that I will come back?
Gandalf: No. And if you do... you will not be the same.
& Thorin: There are a few warriors amongst us. Old warriors. I would take each and every one of these Dwarves... over an army from the Iron Hills. For when I called upon them, they answered. Loyalty, honor... a willing heart. I can ask no more than that.
& Bilbo: No, wait, wait, stop. Stop! We have to turn around.
Gandalf: What on earth is the matter?
Bilbo: I forgot my handkerchief.
& Bilbo: Gandalf, where are you going?
Gandalf: To seek the company of the only one around here who’s got any sense.
Bilbo: And who’s that?
Gandalf: Myself, Mr. Baggins. I’ve had enough of Dwarves for one day.
& Bert: Mutton yesterday, mutton today... and, blimey, if it don’t look like mutton again tomorrow.
& Bilbo: Where did you go to, if I may ask?
Gandalf: To look ahead.
Bilbo: What brought you back?
Gandalf: Looking behind.
& Bilbo: I have never used a sword in my life.
Gandalf: And I hope you never have to. But if you do, remember this: True courage is about knowing not when to take a life... but when to spare one.
& Gandalf: But Radagast has seen...
Saruman: Radagast? Do not speak to me of Radagast the Brown. He’s a foolish fellow.
Gandalf: Well, he’s odd, I grant you. He lives a solitary life.
Saruman: It’s not that. It’s his excessive consumption of mushrooms. They’ve addled his brain and yellowed his teeth. I’ve warned him.
& Galadriel: Why Bilbo Baggins?
Gandalf: Perhaps it is because I’m afraid... and he gives me courage.
& Thorin: Did I not say that you would be a burden? That you would not survive in the Wild? That you had no place amongst us?.. I have never been so wrong in all my life. But I’m sorry I doubted you.
Bilbo: No, I would have doubted me too. I’m not a hero or a warrior. Not even a burglar.
& Bilbo: I do believe the worst is behind us...
Ω Bazinga!
--
+ quotes on the IMDb
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