The Big Bang Theory 6×21
Penny: No. ... Help me out here. I can’t afford another demerit.
Leonard: Uh... maybe we were hacked. You know, the Chinese have been hacking everything lately.
Sheldon: Why would the Chinese make our DVR record Paul Blart: Mall Cop?
& Sheldon: Don’t you understand what’s going on here?
Penny: As a rule, no.
& Sheldon: They can’t just cancel a show like Alphas. You know? They have to help the viewers let go. Firefly did a movie to wrap things up. Buffy the Vampire Slayer continued on as a comic book. Heroes gradually lowered the quality season by season till we were grateful it ended.
& Raj: I can see my little princess while I’m at work, right?
Howard: Why can’t you just watch porn like a regular guy?
& Leonard: You need to watch Buffy the Vampire Slayer. It is the perfect show for the two of us. It’s got action and jokes and hot vampires and romance. I cannot oversell this! What do you say?
Penny: It’s 6:30 in the morning!
Leonard: I thought you grew up on a farm...
& Sheldon: Hello, SyFy Network?.. Yeah, this is your vice president of programming.
& Howard: Take what’s in her blog and use it to get her pants off.
Raj: Why do you have to make everything so filthy? Why couldn’t you just say the blog is like her giving me the key to her heart?
Howard: “The key to her heart...” That’s nice. Were you quoting someone or is it tattooed on the small of your back?
Raj: I was quoting a man who knows a thing or two about women: Sir Elton John.
& Leonard: So, did you love it? Of course you loved it! How could you not love it? Tell me how much you loved it.
Penny: It was cute.
Leonard: Oh, don’t say cute. That’s the worst.
& Penny: Let’s watch another one.
Leonard: Really?
Penny: Yeah, it was fun. Kind of reminded me of my high school. But instead of vampires, we had meth heads... But both came out at night and had messed up teeth.
& Sheldon: B-But we didn’t finish!
Amy: Exactly. How does that make you feel?
Sheldon: The same way any normal person would... Feel like I want to peel off my own face and tear it in two and then again and again until I have a handful of Sheldon-face confetti!
& Amy: Come on, you can do this.
Sheldon: You don’t know what it’s like to feel completely frustrated! To have a-a desire build up within you and be denied any opportunity for release.
Amy: ................. Yeah, sounds like a drag.
& Penny: Okay, help me out here. Why does he love this show so much?
Bernadette: Well, there was action, it was funny. I mean, you do get that usually the monster chases the pretty girl, but this time the pretty girl chases the monsters?
Penny: Yippee, it’s backwards.
& Bernadette: I’m pretty passionate about science. I remember the first time I looked through a microscope and saw millions of tiny microorganisms. It was like a whole other universe... If I wanted to, I could wipe it out with my thumb like a god!
& Bernadette: We need to spend a little time and find something you’re passionate about.
Penny: That sounds like a lot of work.
& Howard: Hey, what’s up?
Raj: Uh, Lucy’s coming over. I need some advice.
Howard: However long you think the foreplay should be, triple it.
& Amy: Okay, Sheldon, make a wish and blow out the candles. ..... Oops, missed one. Now your wish can’t come true.
Sheldon: ... Lucky for you, ’cause I wished you were dead.
& Lucy: Is something going on?
Raj: What do you mean?
Lucy: Well, you’re acting all weird. And I’m pretty weird, so I think I know what I’m talking about.
& Penny: Look, I’ve always had these plans. I was gonna be in movies and live this glamorous life, and anything less than that just wasn’t worth getting excited about.
Leonard: Those things can still happen.
Penny: Oh, obviously it’s gonna happen. Yeah, a psychic at a bachelorette party told me so. Anyway, what I meant was... I shouldn’t wait, you know? I’ve got you, I’ve got Sheldon, all these wonderful friends... My life is exciting right now. That’s a big deal.
Leonard: It is, isn’t it?.. So, does that mean we get to do stuff like talk about cool shows or get dressed up in matching costumes and go to Comic-Con?
Penny: Leonard, I had an epiphany, not a stroke.
& Sheldon: Amy, I must say, I was skeptical at first, but this has truly been a transformative evening.
Amy: I’m a little surprised to hear you feeling so positive.
Sheldon: Well, you’re an excellent neuroscientist, you’re a wonderful girlfriend, and...
Amy: ....... And?
Sheldon: Doesn’t matter, does it?
Amy: I’m proud of you, Sheldon.
Sheldon: And a complete sucker!!
& Penny: Sheldon, you big weirdo, I want you to know that I love that you’re in my life.
Sheldon: I love you, toooo.
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On the IMDb
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