& Dave: Oh, my God, I’m literally too embarrassing to even live.
& Aubrey: Okay. It’s not that so much as she doesn’t... She doesn’t really care about that shit, you know, the noise and the magazines. And she definitely doesn’t wanna hear how beautiful you think she is when she tucks her hair behind her ears. I mean, I doubt she really wants to hear anything. All she wants to feel is a little less freaked out than she already does, which, you know, is probably very. So she wants to be with a guy who seems less freaked out than she is, and if you can be that guy, then rad. But if you can’t... then you’re not gonna be her dude.
Dave: I’m never gonna be her dude, am I?
Aubrey: Not with that attitude, my friend, no.
& Aubrey: Your balls are vibrating.
& Aubrey: Everything cool has been ruined. Was before we got here. Even sex and relationships. It’s all just so safe and convenient. Homogenized. Exchange profiles, boil your personality down to some, like, compatibility equation. “What’s your favorite movie? Who’s your favorite recording artist?” And then with one easy click, we too can realize our dream of boning someone exactly like us. Get married, give birth to two and a half babies. We can all post the pictures on Facebook or Twitter. No, that’s... That is not for me. I wanna meet a man the old-fashioned way, you know, like in a bar.
Dave: How about a dark alley? Crazy guy who talks to himself?
& Aubrey: Listen. I’m not gonna lecture you on parenting. That’s not my thing. You stick to your area, and I will stick to mine. But let me just say this: We all knew at some point I was going to have a drink. It’s inevitable. I am a teenager, and this is America, and isn’t it way better that I do it here, alone in my room with a glass of wine, rather than at some party, doing Jager shots with some frat-boy date rapist? Or when I could be killed in, like, a fiery car accident?
& Dave: Do you know what “homogenized” means?
Jane: What?
Dave: Homogenized.
Jane: Uh... It’s a kind of milk, isn’t it? Homogenized milk.
Dave: Yeah... Yeah.
& Aubrey: I dig you so much.
& Dave: I’m sorry it happened.
Aubrey: Yeah. Me too.
& Dave: Here’s what I know about sex. You ready? You ready? Sex is so much better before you’ve had it. Because before you’ve had it, it’s everything. You know? It’s what you dream of. I mean, your entire world is, like, consumed in this... Well, you guys know what I’m talking about. And then after... After, it’s just... It’s just sex. It’s just... It’s not even that, you know? It’s just a mess. It’s a mess. I wish I could just go back to the beginning.
& Big Corporation: So now what? You hit one bump and you bail? Throw your hands up and walk away?
Dave: Well, I mean, it was a pretty major bump.
Big Corporation: No, it wasn’t. It was sex. One time. The first time. You don’t know anything from that. You’re gonna tell me you don’t think it’s worth giving it one more shot? You think it’s about letting it go. No. It’s about sticking with it and being a man. And I don’t mean in no bullshit way, like you’re tough or you’re a dick. Being a real man.
Dave: I don’t even know if I am.
Big Corporation: You are. You’re a man. Now act like it.
& Aubrey: I met a boy...
& Dad: I want you to remember every detail of what just happened, because it’s never going to happen again.
& Dave: I don’t know much about relationships. I definitely don’t know anything about love. All I want, like, in the world, is to just keep talking to you. I wanna know how your day was, where you wanna eat, and I wanna argue with you. And I wanna hear all your theories, even the ones that are just completely, you know, wrong. And I know it’s not that simple. I don’t know, I just think... No, I really believe that if you’d just be willing to continue having this conversation with me, then we can figure the rest out.
& Aubrey: You know, none of my theories are wrong, by the way. They just aren’t fully developed yet.
--
+ quotes on the IMDb
+ Soundtrack's important.
& Aubrey: Okay. It’s not that so much as she doesn’t... She doesn’t really care about that shit, you know, the noise and the magazines. And she definitely doesn’t wanna hear how beautiful you think she is when she tucks her hair behind her ears. I mean, I doubt she really wants to hear anything. All she wants to feel is a little less freaked out than she already does, which, you know, is probably very. So she wants to be with a guy who seems less freaked out than she is, and if you can be that guy, then rad. But if you can’t... then you’re not gonna be her dude.
Dave: I’m never gonna be her dude, am I?
Aubrey: Not with that attitude, my friend, no.
& Aubrey: Your balls are vibrating.
& Aubrey: Everything cool has been ruined. Was before we got here. Even sex and relationships. It’s all just so safe and convenient. Homogenized. Exchange profiles, boil your personality down to some, like, compatibility equation. “What’s your favorite movie? Who’s your favorite recording artist?” And then with one easy click, we too can realize our dream of boning someone exactly like us. Get married, give birth to two and a half babies. We can all post the pictures on Facebook or Twitter. No, that’s... That is not for me. I wanna meet a man the old-fashioned way, you know, like in a bar.
Dave: How about a dark alley? Crazy guy who talks to himself?
& Aubrey: Listen. I’m not gonna lecture you on parenting. That’s not my thing. You stick to your area, and I will stick to mine. But let me just say this: We all knew at some point I was going to have a drink. It’s inevitable. I am a teenager, and this is America, and isn’t it way better that I do it here, alone in my room with a glass of wine, rather than at some party, doing Jager shots with some frat-boy date rapist? Or when I could be killed in, like, a fiery car accident?
& Dave: Do you know what “homogenized” means?
Jane: What?
Dave: Homogenized.
Jane: Uh... It’s a kind of milk, isn’t it? Homogenized milk.
Dave: Yeah... Yeah.
& Aubrey: I dig you so much.
& Dave: I’m sorry it happened.
Aubrey: Yeah. Me too.
& Dave: Here’s what I know about sex. You ready? You ready? Sex is so much better before you’ve had it. Because before you’ve had it, it’s everything. You know? It’s what you dream of. I mean, your entire world is, like, consumed in this... Well, you guys know what I’m talking about. And then after... After, it’s just... It’s just sex. It’s just... It’s not even that, you know? It’s just a mess. It’s a mess. I wish I could just go back to the beginning.
& Big Corporation: So now what? You hit one bump and you bail? Throw your hands up and walk away?
Dave: Well, I mean, it was a pretty major bump.
Big Corporation: No, it wasn’t. It was sex. One time. The first time. You don’t know anything from that. You’re gonna tell me you don’t think it’s worth giving it one more shot? You think it’s about letting it go. No. It’s about sticking with it and being a man. And I don’t mean in no bullshit way, like you’re tough or you’re a dick. Being a real man.
Dave: I don’t even know if I am.
Big Corporation: You are. You’re a man. Now act like it.
& Aubrey: I met a boy...
& Dad: I want you to remember every detail of what just happened, because it’s never going to happen again.
& Dave: I don’t know much about relationships. I definitely don’t know anything about love. All I want, like, in the world, is to just keep talking to you. I wanna know how your day was, where you wanna eat, and I wanna argue with you. And I wanna hear all your theories, even the ones that are just completely, you know, wrong. And I know it’s not that simple. I don’t know, I just think... No, I really believe that if you’d just be willing to continue having this conversation with me, then we can figure the rest out.
& Aubrey: You know, none of my theories are wrong, by the way. They just aren’t fully developed yet.
--
+ quotes on the IMDb
+ Soundtrack's important.
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