Radio Harry

Resident Alien 2×4

Harry Vanderspeigle: Children, a pestilence... They are not so much born, but replicate like a virus, continuing humanity's path toward destruction. Plus, it is illegal to make them work, so they are just gum stuck to the bottom of your shoe.

Harry Vanderspeigle: Plants have the most complex biochemistry of anything in nature, yet humans give them to say, "I love you. Here are some flowers. You are dead."

Asta Twelvetrees: Transit station? on Mars? That's weird. We didn't know anything about that.
Harry Vanderspeigle: Ha ha ha! Humans don't know anything about anything. It's funny because it's true.

Sheriff Mike Thompson: I do like dresses with pockets. It makes the handbag optional. Of course, you could always just throw a couple bandolier belts over your shoulders and tuck little tampons in each little bullet slot.
Deputy Liv Baker: Sir, how many tampons do you think I need?
Sheriff Mike Thompson: Shit, as many as you can carry. Tampons are extremely versatile. You can use them for gunshot wounds, for a sweaty brow... They actually should market 'em to men and call 'em manpons. I'd buy them.
Deputy Liv Baker: That's quite the TED talk, sir.

Harry Vanderspeigle: That was a very long lunch... How do humans talk for hours about different ways to cook their meat?

Harry Vanderspeigle: You are looking constipated again.

D'Arcy Bloom: I can't date him. His hair's way nicer than mine.

Harry Vanderspeigle: If my device had delivered its message, we would have 50 years to figure this out. Now we will have 50 days if we are lucky.

Harry Vanderspeigle: You and you, help keep Sunny's thighs up towards her stomach. Asta, place your hands suprapubically over the fetal anterior shoulder, applying pressure in a CPR style in a downward lateral motion. Be sure to like and subscribe.

Radio Host: When people experience a loss of time, their friends tell them it's normal, it's not a big deal, when in fact it's often because they've been abducted by aliens.

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