City People

South Park 25×3

Mrs. Cartman: Honey... Mommy has some big news.
Eric Cartman: What--
Mrs. Cartman: I... got a job, Eric.
Eric Cartman: I'm your job!

Eric Cartman: Wha... What job could you possibly have? You don't know how to do anything.
Mrs. Cartman: I'm a real estate agent.
Eric Cartman: A what?

Eric Cartman: Butters, I have some shocking news... My mom got a job.
Butters Stotch: Oh... Oh, and you're worried that maybe now your mom won't always be there to take care of you?
Eric Cartman: What? No. My mom got a job. My mom is dumb as shit and somebody is paying her to do something.

Eric Cartman: Have you ever heard of a real estate agent, Butters?
Butters Stotch: Well, not really.
Eric Cartman: Yeah, well, neither had I. So I looked it up on a bunch of those shows and stuff. You don't do anything. You just look nice and hug people and then when someone buys or sells a house, you make money.
Butters Stotch: Wow! Well, that sounds like a good deal!
Eric Cartman: It's more than a good deal, Butters, it's [BLEEP] legal theft.

Eric Cartman: If my mom can be a real estate agent, then literally anyone in the world can. We've got all these people moving from the cities into our town, I can probably be a millionaire in just a few days time.

Eric Cartman: Mom, real estate is an open market. You're not the only one who gets to take advantage of all the city people.

City Council Female Member 1: Oh, I just love all these city people moving in!
Mr. Kim: That's right. It's great to have chitty people. These chitty people come with their fancy chitty clothes and their big chitty cars. You know, and these chitty people have a chitty way of doing things that will expose us all to their chitty ideas.
Jimbo: Yeah, and they've got city money and city lifestyles!
Mr. Kim: Chitty money, chitty lifestyles. And they'll move here and bring their chitty families. And their cultured, chitty kids will hang out with our kids and expose them to their chitty ways.
Mayor McDaniels: I've always dreamed of South Park becoming more than a little hick town. And these city people bring with them... a new hope.
City Council Female Member 2: Here's to the future, everyone!
— The future!

City Council Male Member: I thought city people were good for our economy.
Mayor McDaniels: They are, but Mr. Kim has a theory, and I think you all better listen to him. Mr. Kim.
Mr. Kim: What's the one thing chitty people hate most? Other chitty people. Chitty people wanna get out of the city. If too many come here... South Park become chitty and then all the chitty people gonna leave.

Announcer: Real Estate is a delicate balance. It has to be left to the professionals. There's a great migration happening all over America. And if we do it right... Everyone ends up in a home... that they can afford.
Eric Cartman: I think it's cool we live in a hot dog.

Eric Cartman: We have everything we need here. We've got running water, a couch to sleep on. And most important, we have each other..... Weak... I live in a hot dog.

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