The One Where Monica Gets a Roommate

Friends 1×1

Monica: Okay, everybody relax. This is not even a date. It's just two people going out to dinner and not having sex.
Joey: Sounds like a date to me.

Chandler: Sometimes I wish I was a lesbian... Did I say that out loud?

Joey: Hey, Pheebs, you wanna help?
Phoebe: Oh, I wish I could, but I don't want to.

Ross: You know what's scary? What if there's only one woman for everybody? I mean, what if you get one woman, and that's it? Unfortunately, in my case, there was only one woman for her.
Joey: What are you talking about? One woman. That's like saying there's only one flavor of ice cream for you. Let me tell you something, Ross. There's lots of flavors out there. There's rocky road and cookie dough and bing cherry vanilla. You can get them with jimmies or nuts or whipped cream. This is the best thing that ever happened to you. You got married. You were like, what, 8? Welcome back to the world. Grab a spoon.
Ross: I honestly don't know if I'm hungry or horny.
Chandler: Then stay out of my freezer!

Chandler: All right, kids, I gotta get to work. If I don't input those numbers, it doesn't make much of a difference.

Rachel: So, like, you guys all have jobs?
Monica: Yeah, we all have jobs. See, that's how we buy stuff.

Monica: Welcome to the real world. It sucks. You're gonna love it.

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