Member Berries

South Park 20×1

& Mike: Sell-out crowd tonight... The first time in team history. Everyone turning out to see what’s gonna happen.
    Jim: That’s right, Mike. All eyes tonight are of course on 4th grader Nichole Daniels. Will she sit or stand for the national anthem?
    Mike: This week, with athletes all over the country sitting down for the national anthem, the question on everyone’s mind is, what is this little girl gonna do?

& Dave: Ed and Mike, I’ve just looked at the girls’ Twitter accounts, and it appears they are sitting out the national anthem to protest all the harassment and trolling they receive on the Internet!

& Jim: And now as the anthem draws to a close, this thing is over. The final result... Four athletes sitting out on the national anthem, three of them not even black. A shocker here in South Park. Thanks for joining us.

& P.C. Principal: Ladies, I understand you’re upset about the trolling you’ve received on the Internet. But there is no evidence that Eric Cartman is skankhunt42.

& Congress Speaker: ...perhaps it is time for us to consider that our national anthem needs to be changed. Americans need an anthem that inspires and excites, an anthem that has something for everyone, while still paying tribute to what it once was.
    I believe there’s only one person capable of achieving this... J.J. Abrams. He saved «Star Wars,» and now we will ask him to save our country.

& Speaker: We all want something new, but that makes us remember the things we loved. We want to member. We need your memberberries!

& Cartman: The girls are very upset, and many male students believe that it’s just because girls don’t have a sense of humor. I beg to disagree. Girls rule. Women are funny. Get over it.

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& Cartman: Hey, girls are funny Wendy, okay? Get over it. Just do women’s comedy stuff... You know, talk about how fat you are and how you want to have sex with guys and then say «my vagina!» a lot.

& Gallop: We’re trying to get a read on how people will be voting in the upcoming presidential election. ...will you be voting for the Giant Douche or the Turd Sandwich?
    Randy Marsh: Well, this is usually a Giant Douche household, but we are going firmly with the Turd Sandwich.

& Stan: I just don’t understand why every four years, you people freak out over whether to vote for a Giant Douche or a Turd Sandwich.
    Randy Marsh: Because we’re Americans. ’Cause this is America.

& Randy Marsh: What is wrong with people, huh? How can they vote against a Turd Sandwich more than a Giant Douche?! It’s senseless!

& Randy Marsh: How can anyone be calm in a time like this?! People actually think a turd is worse than a douche!

& Garrison: What the hell do I do? If I win, I won’t be able to do what I promised. But every day, I keep going up in the polls. Why did the Democrats have to elect such a Turd Sandwich?..

& Garrison: If I quit, I look like a total jackass. If I win the election... I look like a total jackass. I have to keep running, but I have to make sure she... wins.

& Kyle: I didn’t know vaginas had balls...

& Garrison: I’m calling from the campaign for president, just seeing if, uh, I can get your support for Hillary Clinton today? ... Yes, I know she’s a Turd Sandwich, but, you know, if... if you look past that, you know, she... She really has a lot to offer. ... Well, I hear you, but, you know, sometimes in life, you just got to suck a turd, you know? ... Damn it! This is impossible!

& Memberberries: ’Member Spock? ’Member tricorders? ’Member that?! ’Member?! Oh, and ’member Bionic Man?
    Randy Marsh: Oh I ’member.

& Memberberries: ’Member Chewbacca again? Oh, I love to ’member Chewbacca!
    ’Member? ’Member that?! Hey, ’member when there weren’t so many Mexicans?
    Oh! I ’member. Yeah, yeah, yeah!
    ’Member when marriage was just between a man and a woman.
    I ’member! Ooh, I ’member! Oh, yeah!
    ’Member feeling safe? ’Member no ISIS? ’Member Reagan?
    Ooh! I ’member! Ooh, ’member?! Ooh, ’member?!

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On the IMDb