Josh and I Go to Los Angeles!

Crazy Ex-Girlfriend 1×13

& Trent: So weird, right?
    Rebecca: Weird is a word for it.

& Rebecca: Are you blackmailing me?
    Trent: Oh, you know what they say, one person’s blackmailing is another person’s love story.
    Rebecca: Who says that?
    Trent: Me. I do. Got it from a phrase book.

& Trent: Let’s just have a quiet night at home and reconnect, huh? Do you like couscous? I do. Do you like Tarantino? I don’t.

& Rebecca: ...and before you say anything, dude makes a great dinner. And then, he-he drew me a bath and massaged my feet. It wasn’t weird, I wore a bathing suit.

---

& Heather: This place is so weird. A sports bar, but with kids running around, where the moms look like hookers and the hookers look like moms. I love it.

& Kevin: It’s Rebecca on the TV! She’s one of our regulars. The one that orders those custom cheeseburger pizzas.

& Paula: He looks like a Kennedy, but a sober one.
    Rebecca: Yeah, I figured it out.
    Paula: It’s like if two Kennedy cousins mated.
    Rebecca: Totally. Yeah.

& Heather: Look, I’ve seen a lot of Hallmark movies and the look on people’s faces before they run and confess their feelings, that’s... your face.

--
+ quotes on the IMDb

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Five Hoda Kotbs

The Last Man on Earth 3×4

& Gail: Son of a bitch! Heel! Heel! Bad car! How dare you disobey me! No luck with these self-driving cars.

& Lewis: No, Tandy. I’m gay.
    Phil: You were gay...
    Lewis: Am gay. Currently.
    Phil: Current... Gay... Oh, my God.

& Phil: We have a gay population! You know, I was pumped when you were just Asian. But a gay Asian? Hey, that checks off two boxes for us. And how perfect that we’re going to San Francisco!

& Phil: Lewis is gay. Awesome!

& Phil: What a wonderful turn of events... My first gay friend.

---

& Carol: Just think of a place that has all the things we loved about San Francisco: the Golden Gate Bridge, a prison island, world’s curviest street...

& Melissa: I like it burned.

& Carol: Tandy, I usually have your back, but today you’ve been a real pain in the front.

& Phil: Whatever it is, I’m sure it’s gonna be great!
    Lewis: .... A patio furniture store?

& Phil: Okay, uh, new deal. The next natural step in our no-plan plan will be the plan phase.

& Todd: Hey, guys, you should come see this!

& Gail: Holy balls.

--
On the IMDb

+ Soundtrack

Grimsby

& Nobby: Hey, everyone. Let’s celebrate responsibly!

& Nobby: Isn’t life strange? I mean, yesterday I’m having a normal day... down the pub with me mates with a firework up me ass. And here we are now, with me brother... doing some running and swimming... different types of cardio.

& Nobby: Can I ask you a question? Are you a Vin Diesel impersonator?

& Nobby: But if you can’t trust family, who can you trust?
    Sebastian: Trust you? Trust you?! Because of you, the head of the World Health Organization is dead... and Harry Potter has AIDS. You managed to do in three seconds what Voldemort failed to do in eight movies.

& Dawn Grobham: Oh, look. I’m exactly like Sharon Stallone in Basic Instincts.

& Sebastian: Nobby.
    Nobby: That’s me darts partner. Ben Kingsley.

& Sebastian: Congratulations, by the way. When are you due?
    Dawn Grobham: Oh, I’m not pregnant. I’m just fucking fat.

& Nobby: As Jesus said, «Thou shalt not suck off your own fucking brother.»
    Sebastian: Do it, or I’ll be dead in 60 seconds!

---

& Sebastian: Choose. You can suck my scrotum or you can let me die.
    Nobby: ... Okay. What would you like written on your gravestone?
    Sebastian: Suck my balls!

& Nobby: Not to worry, all right? Just leave the spying to your brother.

& Nobby: Listen. Don’t take it personal, love. He kills everyone. It’s because he used to wet the bed.

& Nobby: I searched for you for 28 years. I do not believe in never.

& Nobby: That’s the beauty of LinkedIn!

& Tabansi: Hey, Nobb-Man. How’s your brother going to blend in with football hooligans? Looking like the guy from Despicable Me?

& Lukashenko: How is it you English football supporters say?.. Oh, yes. You’re going to get your bloody head kicked in.

& Nobby: Maybe just shoot me.

& Nobby: So we’re scum, are we? Well, let me tell you something about scum:
    It’s scum who built the hospitals that are now closing down.
    It’s scum who die in the wars started by the bastards in charge.
    It’s scum that keep the Fast and Furious franchise alive.

& Jodie: What are you doing?!
    Nobby: Contributing to society.

--
+ quotes on the IMDb

Σ nostradamvs: ...Настройтесь на Коэна – и такие шуточки пойдут хорошо...

Josh and I Work on a Case!

Crazy Ex-Girlfriend 1×12

& Paula: Like Ed says, «Failure is not an option.»
    Rebecca: I have no idea what you’re talking about right now, but you seem really confident, and you’re talking about space, so... I’m gonna go with your plan.

& Rebecca: I love that we all had the same idea at the same time! It’s like we’re on each other’s mental cycle.

& Josh: Dude, she went to Harvard and she thinks Valencia and I could get a lot of money!
    Chris: That’s what Satan told Faust... Oh, you guys didn’t know? My school went charter.

---

& Paula: Tell me, is your hot water out?
    Josh’s neighbor: Yeah, but they said they’re going to fix it...
    Rebecca: May I speak to you for a moment about an important issue? A serious problem threatening your right to life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness.
    Josh’s neighbor: Um...
    Paula: She’s right. It’s a big-ass problem.

& Rebecca: Let’s make ourselves a case, folks!

& Paula: Oh, okay. Get-get them up there. Oh, God... See, people think they’re fake, but when you get up close, you realize no human could design these.

& Rebecca: Tell him, Bert.
    Bert: The Los Angeles county water system is a complex creature—
    Rebecca: Now, we’re surrounded by water, of course, but until those Israelis learn out how to desalinate, we’re up crap’s creek, scrabbling around buying water from Colorado.

--
+ quotes on the IMDb

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Swiss Army Man

& Hank: My name is Hank Thompson, and I’ve been stranded out on an island in the Pacific all alone! And this man, this man saved me from the brink of death when he allowed me to ride him like a jet ski, propelled by his f...

& Hank: Ah, you’re the grossest thing in this gross world.

& Manny: I’m not a sack of shit?
    Hank: No, you’re amazing. You’re... You’re a miracle, or... or I’m just hallucinating from starvation.

& Hank: Manny... if you don’t know «Jurassic Park,» you don’t know shit.

& Manny: You’re broken and empty and dirty and smelly and useless and old. You’re like trash, right?
    Hank: Shut up. What...
    Manny: I’m sorry, Hank. I’m just saying the things in my head.
    Hank: Well, you can’t just say everything that comes into your head. That’s bad talking.

& Hank: You know, it used to be... really hard to come by a magazine like that when I was a kid. I’d have to go digging under the bushes by the freeway and sneak into my dad’s stash. I mean, before the Internet, every girl was a lot more special.

& Hank: I bet you probably did the same thing, make up little love stories for each of them...

---

& Hank: We should turn it off to save power... The phone is on low battery with no signal. We’ve gotta turn it off so we can find help once we’re closer to home.
    Manny: I have a lot of questions about all the things you just said.

& Manny: I don’t know why, but I have this sudden urge to put my mouth on your mouth.
    Hank: Okay, that’s called kissing, but you can’t do that yet. That’s too fast.
    Manny: Oh. Uh... How ’bout if I put my penis in you?
    Hank: That’s even worse.

& Hank: You could talk to her. Tell her you’d love to sit next to her today and every other day, because life is short, and no one deserves to ride the bus alone.

& Manny: I have this feeling, and I don’t know what to call it. It’s like I feel like even though I’m on top of you right now, touching you physically, there’s something stuck in between us.

& Hank: I’m scared. Okay? I’m just a scared, ugly, useless person.
    Manny: But maybe everyone’s a little bit ugly. Yeah, maybe we’re all just ugly, dying sacks of shit, and maybe all it’ll take is one person to just be okay with that, and then the whole world will be dancing and singing and farting, and everyone will feel a little bit less alone.
    Hank: Manny, you have no idea how nice that sounds.

--
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The Fetal Kick Catalyst

The Big Bang Theory 10×6

& Penny: You just said, it’s sad.
    Leonard: Yeah, but it’s not pathetic. That’s where I draw the line.

& Leonard: You’ll have nerds fawning all over you. If you don’t love that, this marriage is in trouble.

& Sheldon: Let’s say that we were to entertain people. What type of gathering did you have in mind?.. Huh? A meal? Lunch? Brunch? Dinner? Afternoon tea? A formal tea? Hmm?
    Is it a party? And if so, what kind of party? Is it a cocktail party? A Tupperware party? Ooh, yeah— is it a surprise party?
    Oh, I hope it’s not a West Coast party, ’cause according to the man on the radio, a West Coast party don’t stop.

& Amy: I’m sorry I mentioned it.
    Sheldon: Oh, don’t be. You get your hopes up, I knock them down. That’s called teamwork.

& Howard: That’s a kick! That’s an actual kick.

& Penny: Your love confuses me.

---

& Amy: There’s nothing to be afraid of, Sheldon.
    Sheldon: The average cork speed is 25 miles per hour. If that is too fast around a school, it is certainly too fast around a kitchen.
    Amy: ... Been 15 minutes. Just sayin’.

& Mrs. Petrescu: Yes. Drink is fun and good friends— Applebee’s.
    Sheldon: ???.. She’s learning English from TV.
    Mrs. Petrescu: TV, good. Now back to you.

& Howard: It’s got a rearview camera, there’s a DVD player— oh, and check this out... It’s like we’re living in the future!

& Bert: I’m warning you... hide your good rocks.

& Sheldon: Oh. You see, your words sound reasonable, but your face looks angry.

& Amy: Stuart, you know you’re one of our favorite people...
    Sheldon: Okay, now, see, you look sincere, but your words are completely false.

& Howard: What was I thinking? Wolowitzes are not a lifting people! We tip the lifting people!

& Penny: You know, once, I proposed to him.
    Leonard: Yeah. I said no.
    Fan: Why?!
    Leonard: I just wanted to make her work for it.
    Penny: Yeah, that’s gonna cost you later...

& Sheldon: You see? No muss, no fuss, not a single cuss.

--
On the IMDb

13 Hours

& Tyrone ’Rone’ Woods: Payback’s a bitch and her stripper name is Karma.
    Jack Silva: You come up with that on your own?
    Tyrone ’Rone’ Woods: I saw it on a T-shirt in Mexico.

& Tyrone ’Rone’ Woods: Go ahead, look up. You see the drone? No? That’s all right, because the drone sees you. Sees your face. We know who you are. If anything happens to us, your home, your family, boom, gone.

& Bob: You have a move tonight.
    Tyrone ’Rone’ Woods: No recon, Chief?
    Bob: What makes you Special Operators so special if you can’t do what I need when I need it?

& Jack Silva: That’s it? I thought every embassy had standard hard-target security measures. Car bomb barricades, full-time Marines.
    DS Dave Ubben: Supposed to. This isn’t an embassy. We’re a temporary diplomatic outpost. Uncle Sam’s on a budget right now, so I guess normal security regulations don’t apply.
    Jack Silva: Man, that’s some real «dot-gov» shit, huh?

& Tyrone ’Rone’ Woods: I hate to piss on your party, ladies, but five dudes with M4s is not enough. The locals on your front gate are worthless, perimeter’s soft, and this whole compound’s a fucking sniper’s paradise. Any big element gets inside here, you guys are gonna fucking die.
    DS Dave Ubben: Well, that’s heartwarming.
    Tyrone ’Rone’ Woods: What? No offense.

& Chris Stevens: So between what we see happening in Egypt with Morsi and the current destabilization of Syria, yes, it’s easy to imagine any number of scenarios playing out here. However, in my mind, our biggest mistake would be to not view this moment as an opportunity.
    ...And I believe that it is our mission as Americans to help Benghazans form a free, democratic and prosperous Libya.

---

& Kris ’Tanto’ Paronto: Could be the start of the Holy War.
    Tyrone ’Rone’ Woods: You gonna fight the Holy War in your shorts? Strong move.

& Tyrone ’Rone’ Woods: Say goodbye to contract work.
    Jack Silva: You can’t put a price on being able to live with yourself.

& Libyan: Hello, Captain America. I’m fighting for my country.
    Kris ’Tanto’ Paronto: You’re welcome.

& Tyrone ’Rone’ Woods: Maybe you haven’t noticed it’s open season on Americans in Benghazi right now.

& Bob: I’m ordering the evacuation!
    Tyrone ’Rone’ Woods: You’re not giving orders anymore, you’re taking them. You’re in my world now.

& Kris ’Tanto’ Paronto: They’re just the local shepherds...

& Kris ’Tanto’ Paronto: Does it seem like everybody knows what’s going on around here but us?

& Kris ’Tanto’ Paronto: Chief, these cops? I bet you they work for the bad guys.
    Bob: Does this look like 17 Feb to you?
    Kris ’Tanto’ Paronto: Dude, how can you fucking tell? They’re all bad guys until they’re not.

& Tyrone ’Rone’ Woods: I’d settle for a few F16s. Low fly-by over the city would put the fear of God and the United States in them.

& Bob: If they’re shooting at you, just fucking shoot back!

& Sona Jillani: My authority? My authority is that if you don’t send, Americans are going to die. Including the one talking to you right now.

& Jack Silva: I’m thinking about my girls, man. Thinking what would they say about me? «He died in a place he didn’t need to be, in a battle over something he doesn’t understand, in a country that meant nothing to him.»

& Jack Silva: Why is that? Why can’t I go home? Why can’t I go home and just stay there?
    Tyrone ’Rone’ Woods: Warriors aren’t trained to retire, Jack.

& Kris ’Tanto’ Paronto: Guys, this sucks. Every Ranger knows dawn is when the French and Indians attack.

& — Chief. Are we expecting any friendlies?

& Kris ’Tanto’ Paronto: As far as I’m concerned, this isn’t over till it ends. That’s when they’re all dead or we are.

& Tyrone ’Rone’ Woods: «All the gods, all the heavens, all the hells are within you.»
    Jack Silva: What is that?
    Tyrone ’Rone’ Woods: Something Boon dropped on me earlier. It’s just been rattling around in my head all night.

--
+ quotes on the IMDb

A Stereotypical Day

Modern Family 8×2

& Jay: Guess what. A black family’s moving in right across the street the same day my security cameras are going up. Well, what am I supposed to do?

& Jay: Gloria, Gloria, Gloria. You’ll never understand the stereotypes old white men face.

& Claire: Part of being the boss is being a bummer.

---

& Mitchell: It was hard for us to hear, but in the spirit of tolerance, we accepted the fact that a 9-year-old might not want to fall asleep under the watchful eyes of her half-naked fathers.
    Camerone: Call the Sistine Chapel. I guess art is out.

& Alex: Roll! It’s going to be so exciting to get back to all that science stuff again. You know — beakers, calculators, ray guns...

& Alex: I feel so bad. I had no idea what I was doing.
    Claire: I feel worse. I really, really knew what I was doing.
    Luke: So, is knowing all this enough, or do we have to, like, do something?

--
On the IMDb

The Day Will Come When You Won't Be

Ω The viewers discretion is [strongly!] advised.

The Walking Dead 7×1

& Rick: Not today... not tomorrow... but I’m gonna kill you.

& Negan: Let’s go for a ride.

& Negan: It’s a brand-new day, Rick. I want you to think about what could have happened... think about what happened, and think about what can still happen.

& Negan: You are mine. The people back there ... they are mine. This... This is mine.

& Negan: Hey, Rick... go get my ax.

& Negan: Let’s be friends...

& Negan: I just popped your skull so hard, your eyeball just popped out, and it is gross as shit!

& Negan: You bunch of pussies. I’m just getting started.

& Negan: Get me... my... ax!

---

& Negan: We’re here, prick.

& Negan: This must be hard for you, right? I mean, you have been King Shit for so long. Losin’ two of your own like...

& Negan: You can still lead... a nice, productive life producing for me. I think you’re gonna need it. I just got a feelin’. So take it.

& Negan: Speak when you’re spoken to!

& Negan: Rick, I want you to take your ax...
Ω Now we all know what that story is about. And how it was.

& Negan: Rick... this needs to happen now... chop, chop... or I will crush the little fella’s skull myself.

& Negan: Rick... pick up the ax. Not making a decision is a big decision.

& Negan: Are you gonna make me count?... Okay, Rick. You win. I am counting. 3!

& Negan: You answer to me. You provide for me.
    Rick: Provide for you.
    Negan: You belong to me, right?!
    Rick: Right.
    Negan: Right.

& Negan: Welcome to a brand-new beginning, you sorry shits!

& Negan: We’ll be back for our first offering in one week. Until then... ta-ta.

& Negan: Bet you thought you were all gonna grow old together, sittin’ around the table at Sunday dinner and the happily ever after... No. Doesn’t work like that, Rick. Not anymore.

--
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Σ Not happy. Not brave. Not new world. And The Negan above them all.

PTZD

Grimm 3×2

«It is not more surprising
to be born twice than once;
everything in nature is
resurrection.»
Voltaire

& Hank: You lose him?
    Monroe: Sorta, kinda. Yeah.

& Monroe: Don’t do it. Don’t do it, Nick! He’s doing it.

& Nick: Being under the influence isn’t a very good defense.
    Hank: Under the influence of what you were under the influence of... That’s different.

---

& Rosalee: I know what we should tell them.
    Monroe: And it is definitely not the truth.

& Monroe: Good thing it didn’t go bad, ’cause, you know... One zombie romp every generation or so was plenty.

& Renard: This is one of those times, Nick, where you walk in two worlds. You know why you did it. You just can’t explain it. At least not in a court of law... Sometimes justice isn’t obvious.

--
+ quotes on the IMDb

Элизабет Джордж — Верь в мою ложь (2/2)

<< Начало

&  В молчании всегда есть нечто воистину драгоценное. Оно действует на людей почти так же, как время, проведённое в одиночестве в полицейской комнате для допросов. Напряжение делает всех людей равными. И большинство не в силах с ним справиться, в особенности если в их силах остановить часовой механизм бомбы.

&  Потом он ушёл, такой же тихий и мрачный, как неловкая мысль.

&  — Когда-то, безусловно, случались идеальные преступления. Но в наши дни слишком трудно совершить такое, да просто невозможно. Криминальная наука слишком далеко продвинулась вперёд. Теперь всегда можно отыскать какой-то след с помощью методов, о которых ещё лет пять назад и знать никто не знал. И сегодня идеальное преступление должно выглядеть так, чтобы никому и в голову не пришло, что это вообще может быть преступлением.

&  Надежда умирает последней, когда дело касается того, что люди считают в принципе возможным.

---

&  Нам всем приходится рано или поздно делать выбор.

&  Вся суть правильной композиции состоит в контрасте. А суть контраста в том, что два предмета представляют собой полную противоположность друг другу.

&  За свою жизнь Томас повидал много чувств, отражавшихся на лицах людей, людей отчаявшихся, лукавящих, застенчивых, людей, которые пытались скрыть правду. Им всегда казалось, что они могут скрыть свою истинную натуру, но удавалось это только социопатам. Потому что реальность такова, что глаза — это действительно окна души, а души нет только у психически больных.

&  — Это как голод. Очень похоже на него. Всегда внутри меня, грызёт и сосёт. Этот... этот голод нечем успокоить. Это ужасно. ... Я понимаю, что так жить невозможно, но я не знаю, как угомонить это чувство.
     — Может быть, тебе это и не нужно. Может быть, ты должна как-то смириться с ним, договориться. Или так, или ты наконец придёшь к пониманию того, что голод и его утоление — совершенно разные вещи. Они никак не связаны друг с другом. Как ни утоляй, лучше не станет.

  ... И начала как попало кромсать свои волосы.”

>> Всего одно злое дело (Инспектор Линли — 18)

The Ungrateful Dead

Grimm 3×1

«But if I stand at the sick
person’s feet, he is mine.»
«Godfather Death»

& Eric: Good night, sweet Grimm.

& Monroe: You know, there’s a whole lot of people Nick has helped too.
    Rosalee: What are we gonna do, raise an army?
    Monroe: No, just a few people who are willing to put their lives on the line for something that really matters.

---

& Rosalee: Remember what I told you about the different ways this treatment can be given?
    Monroe: Yeah. Orally, ointmentally...
    Juliette: Or by shot.
    Rosalee: What about an inhalant?
    Monroe: You mean we get ’em to smoke it?

& Sgt. Wu: God, I hope that’s the last one...

& Bartender: You’re a cop. Good! Go kill that son of bitch!

--
+ quotes on the IMDb

Douche and a Danish

South Park 20×5

& Giant Douche: So I’m standing in line at the airport, waiting in security ’cause of all the freakin’ Muslims...

& Giant Douche: .... I’m sorry. Did I offend you? Where did I lose you, honey? So you’ve been okay with the fuck everyone to death, all the Muslim and Mexican shit, but fingers in the ass did it for you? Cool. Just wanted to see where your line was.

& Giant Douche: .... Poor girls. Did you get your feelings hurt after cheering for «fuck all the immigrants?» Geez. I’m sorry. Geez.

& Giant Douche: Uh... yeah, looks like we’re tanking in the polls. But you know what? It’s fixed. I was never gonna win in the first place. I knew it from the beginning. And on November 8th, when I lose, I’ll be able to say «I told you so!»

& Gerald: All right, look. How do you troll somebody?... No, no, no. It’s not about one person. It’s about pushing people’s buttons so that they’ll react in a way that pushes other people’s buttons!
    Look, you don’t just troll a woman with cancer to get a reaction from her. It’s all about the group of people that are gonna come to her defense! They’re gonna be so self-righteous that another group of people will eventually find those people totally annoying! You’re just setting them against each other.
    It’s like the fission reaction that sets off the fusion explosion! The Internet does it all, and you just sit back with your glass of wine and laugh!
    Anonymous: Wow. That seems kind of mean.
    Gerald: It’s not mean if it’s hilarious!

& Dick: If we all worked with you, Skank, could we do it? Could we troll an entire country?
    Gerald Broflovski: If we all work together?.. Maybe. Maybe.

---

& Heidi: We’re gonna help Denmark, and Denmark is gonna put an end to trolls.
    Eric: And then maybe everyone can finally be as happy as we are.
    — ♪ Let’s come together as a school ♪
    Eric: ♪ And terraform Maaars ♪

& Gerald Broflovski: Don’t get distracted. We are only trolling Denmark. All right, engaging Twitter now. Prepare for overreaction on my mark. Three, two, mark!

& Giant Douche: It’s all my fault. I just... I just wanted to get rid of all the immigrants, you know? I just... I thought we could fuck them all to death, and everyone started listening to me. Next thing I know, I actually get the nomination from the Republicans.

& Randy Marsh: Every great empire reaches a point where going backward can seem more appealing than forward. When the world is changing so fast, it makes us yearn for the old ways when life seemed simpler. But it doesn’t mean those old ideas are good for us now.
    We have to face one hard reality as a country... The new «Star Wars» was not as good as everyone thought it was.

& Randy Marsh: It may seem fun to go back and recycle the past we loved. But we end up with no sustenance.

& Randy Marsh: You see, we all want to go back to when we were kids. Simple ideas like a big man to protect us, keep us safe... Instead of a fresh, new «Star Wars,» we want the old, just recycled and plopped in our tummies.
    Garrison: You almost make it sound like J.J. Abrams is responsible for this entire election.
    Randy Marsh: Does this look familiar?..

--
On the IMDb

Элизабет Джордж — Верь в мою ложь

<< Это смертное тело (Инспектор Линли — 16)

Инспектор Линли — 17

  “Зеда Бенджамина никогда прежде не вызывали в кабинет редактора, и он обнаружил, что испытывает одновременно и замешательство, и сильное волнение. ...

&  Сделать хорошую статью, наверное, не так трудно, как создать новую ракету. Но это не значило, что можно добыть её ниоткуда; необходимо было прежде всего найти источник. Хорошая статья требовала трёх вещей: исследования, крепких ног и огромного упорства. Поиск источника требовал желания совать нос в чужие дела, а при необходимости и раздавить человека. И если этот последний пункт взывал к самой низменной стороне репортёрской натуры, то что с того? Конечным продуктом становилась статья, и если она была достаточно сильна, с должным количеством сенсационных моментов, результатом становились высокие продажи.

&  Тех, кому всего четырнадцать, всегда видно насквозь.

---

&  — Работа по воссозданию действительно исцеляет. Именно сам процесс, а не его результат. Конечно, сначала они сосредотачиваются на результате. Это вообще в природе человека. Но потом начинают понимать, что настоящий результат — это вера в себя, чувство собственного достоинства, самопознание. Назовите как хотите.

&  Всё-таки способность людей к самообольщению абсолютно изумительна.

&  — Знаете, я давно понял, что на исходе лет никто не остаётся безнаказанным.

&  Наркоманы никогда не излечиваются до конца. Они всего лишь кое-как держатся изо дня в день.

Окончание >>

Triple 9

& Jeffrey Allen: First time being robbed? No fun, right?

& Jeffrey Allen: You’re a bank manager. You should be smart enough to know that the monster has gone digital. Be careful what you insta-google-tweet-face.

& Franco Rodriguez: We could pull a 999...

& Marcus Belmont: I can’t remember one shot from yesterday. Is that weird?
    Chris Allen: No, man, it’s called survival stress reaction, you know? Chemicals flood your brain. Forebrain stops working, your amygdala fires up and you’re just...

---

& Jeffrey Allen: It’s the big, bad wolf, baby. The fucking La Kosher Nostra.

& Jeffrey Allen: Does anyone believe in Jesus Christ, our Lord and fucking savior and all his miserable, dog-faced saints?... So, does anyone believe that cops have a sixth sense, can intuit things?... So does anyone believe maybe something very big is about to go down?... So, does anyone believe that maybe it’s better to do something more than sitting around giving me a bunch of «I don’t fucking knows»?!

--
+ quotes on the IMDb

A Tale of Three Cities

Modern Family 8×1

& Mitchell: Hey, Grams. How’s— How’s the coma?

& Luke: Sorry. It just popped into my head when I saw the Statue of Liberty holding that paintbrush. You know, what she used to paint freedom in America.

---

& Claire: The key to a good lie is keep it simple.

--
On the IMDb

My Roanoke Nightmare. Chapter 6

American Horror Story

6×6

Return to Roanoke: Three Days in Hell

& Sidney: We’ve all done the math. 14 minutes of commercials per hour. That’s 28 spots at $450,000 per spot. That’s $12 million a show. That is football money at a fraction of the cost.

& Sidney: So, we are gonna be filming everything. People want the reality. They’re interested in the process.

& Sidney: Okay, it’s familiar, but it’s different. Return to Roanoke: Three Days in Hell.

& Sidney: They’re gonna be living in that house over the period of the blood moon, when all of the bad shit happens. Can you imagine the reactions when The Butcher shows up? Or the Chens? And it’ll all be filmed, 24 hours a day!

& Sidney: Reality is what we make of it. You of all people should know that.

& Agnes: Hello. I’m Agnes Mary Winstead, and I played the part of The Butcher in My Roanoke Nightmare.

& Agnes: You can’t do Roanoke without The Butcher!
    Sidney: The Butcher is not real. We only want real people this year.
    Agnes: I’m a real person.

---

& Agnes: Vile, wretched bastards! Thou dare cast me out of paradise? I am The Butcher...
    Sidney: Don’t turn around.

& Sidney: Okay... alcohol is the secret sauce to reality shows.
    Lawyer: The key word here is «knowingly.» If she’s a real alcoholic, she’s gonna find a drink on her own.

& Diana: Let me get this straight. We would get in more trouble for slipping a drink to Monet than if Lee actually murdered somebody?
    Lawyer: Yes.

& Sidney: I assure you, okay, I am upset, too. But we have come too far to end this before it even starts.

& Rory: Whoa, whoa, whoa. Did you see that?
    Audrey: I didn’t see anything, no.
    Rory: On the other side of the window.

& Sidney: As you all know, America fell in love with two Shelbys, two Matts and two Lees.
    Rory: And Edward!
    Sidney: And Ed... How could I forget?

& Sidney: ...And we brought you back together to see if magic will strike a second time. Just do you. It’s what America wants to see.

& Monet: What’re we looking at here? A full moon?
    Matt: Nearly full. The blood moon is coming.
    Rory: Is that bad?

& Matt: «R»... is for «Rory.»

--
On the IMDb

You're All Going to Diet

The Last Man on Earth 3×3

& Phil: I did all the tests. The breathing test. The tickling test. The kicking test. And all of them came back positive for death.

& Phil: Oh, no, you definitely killed him. It’s just, he may be alive now.

& Phil: Had to do it. BT... bad timing.

& Phil: Look, you guys know that I’m known for my rational thinking, right?

& Carol: What do you need, Tandy?
    Phil: Just wanted to tell you you look wonderful today.
    Carol: That kind of talk is grounds for a kiss.
    Phil: Punishment accepted.
    Carol: I’m gonna give it to you.

& Melissa: Don’t move!
    Lewis: Ah!
    Melissa: Oh, hey, Lewis! Did I scare you?
    Lewis: Yes, very much so.

& Melissa: Puff. Brain stem shot.
    Lewis: Brain stem shot?
    Melissa: Base of the brain. One shot, threat over. And this nest here gives me, uh, great brain stem possibilities from every angle.

---

& Carol: You know, it was just a classic «turn the frown upside down» deal. Here, I’ll show you. .... And rather than get rid of all the angry messages, I thought maybe we should reclaim them, like, you know, how you turn sewage water into delicious drinking water. So, instead of, «We’re all going to die,» I wrote, «We’re all going to diet.»

& Gail: Are we allowed to boo throughout your little speech, or do you want us to just hold all our boos to the very end?

& Phil: Lewis... trust me.

& Carol: If anyone comes into the house, they will be unable to locate and murder the cow. I call it «cow-moo-flage.»

& Melissa: It’s... basically just a bunch of axes around the house... pretty self-explanatory. There’s one over here. So, what you do is you just take the ax, swing it through the person. And then wipe off the blood and... put it back in its station.

& Phil: Lewis, it might be easy for you to just pack up and leave, ’cause you just got here, like, five days ago. But we’ve been here for a long time. This place is part of who we are, you know? This is our home.
    We’ve laughed here. We’ve cried here. We’ve fallen in love, we’ve experienced the miracle of life and the pain of sickness. You know? We’ve buried friends. And somehow, against all odds, we became a family here.
    It’s gonna take a lot more than a couple friggin’ land mines to make us leave it...
    Melissa: I would avoid that area!

& Carol: I think I already know the answer to this, but I got to ask. Can we bring Cher? No, right? Never mind. Delete.

--
On the IMDb

+ Soundtrack

Lady Parts

Lucifer 2×4

& Lucifer: S-H-A-G. «Shag.» Oh, eight points to me and suck it, Maze!

& Dr. Linda: Sometimes, when we’re in crisis, we create distractions for ourselves, also known as barriers to facing our deepest fears.

& Dr. Linda: Has the visit with your mom been hard?
    Lucifer: Piece of cake, actually. Mum’s all sorted, not a problem. ...turns out Mum’s a peach.

& Lucifer: You need a distraction from your woes, Detective. It’s a highly effective tool.

& Lucifer: No, seriously, name three friends you could call right now for a drink. And you can’t say me, your child or the man you’re divorcing.

& Lucifer: Password’s «Carnal,» capital «C.»

& Lucifer: Let’s solve a murder.
    Phone: ’I can assist you with that.’
    Lucifer: It’s brilliant.

& Charlotte: ...children. Factories of filth. Of mire.

& Mazikeen: And how’s that human husband?
    Charlotte: I discovered a trick with him. Whenever he asks a question, I just have sex with him. Seems to render him mute.

& Charlotte: ...As for the rest of it, for lack of a better word, it is absolute... hell.

---

& Charlotte: Yes, these humans are awful. They breathe through their mouths, and they won’t... shut up about something called gluten.

& Chloe: Look, I get it. I know your mom’s in town. We’re both going through some stuff. If you need to talk, I’m here, okay?

& Dr. Linda: Are you okay? ... One exhalation yes, two... none of my business?

& Lucifer: Oh, gosh, I detest cats. Want an animal to stare at you with contempt? Get a cat. Open box of excrement in your house? Cat. Oh, gosh. Can you smell that? Foul, incontinent creatures.

& Mazikeen: If you want to retrace the steps of two hot girls on a girls’ night, you need to think like two hot girls on a girls’ night.
    Lucifer: With your lady parts.
    Mazikeen: And piña coladas in hand.
    Ella: Oh, my God, I love piña coladas!

& Dr. Linda: I’ll start. Um... I worked my way through med school as a phone sex operator... 1-800-ProfessorFeelGood.
    Ella: I would totally call that. I’m Ella, by the way. ... Um, okay. I’ll go next, I guess. Um... I used to steal cars. Who’s next?
    Mazikeen: I was forged in the bowels of Hell to torture the guilty for all of eternity.
    Dr. Linda: Interesting share.

& Lucifer: There are only two reasons to drink alone, brother. Either you’re a chronic dullard, or you’re trying to avoid your problems. If it’s the latter, I approve.

& Lucifer: My first startup was a sex club, actually. Little place called «Eden». Perhaps you’ve heard of it?

& Lucifer: Oh, phones... They can be so distracting.

& Chloe: There’s... a special place... in Hell... for women... who fake friendships as a way... of manipulating other women!
    Lucifer: She’s right, you know.

& Mazikeen: Look... I’ve got money. I like your kid, and you dress like crap, so I won’t be stealing any of your clothes.

& Lucifer: One silly human soul?

--
On the IMDb

+ Soundtracks!

Worth Several Cities

Elementary 5×2

& Holmes: You’re not gonna kill me.

& Halcon Zelaya: We don’t want to kill you, Holmes... We want to hire you.

& Holmes: That’s a problem with private clients. They frequently have their own agendas, which is why I prefer working with the police.

& — Are you Yun Jingyi?
    Watson: ...No one calls me by my Chinese name. Not even my mother.

& Watson: $50 million...

---

& Det. Bell: What are those?
    Holmes: Uh, Chinese characters. They say, «Receive the Mandate of Heaven, and with it longevity and prosperity.»

& Holmes: Rey was right: the green rock was worth a fortune. In fact, the Chinese emperor once traded it for 15 cities. Hence the Chinese idiom for priceless, «worth several cities.»

& Holmes: All things considered, $50 million for the Imperial Jade Seal seems a bit low.

& Holmes: Ambush time.

& Kuo Wenling: I’m a grad student at Columbia. Dad says to tell you that the gross domestic product of Taiwan is 530 billion USD. But the GDP of the People’s Republic of China is over $10 trillion. 20 times as big. So... we have more money.

--
On the IMDb

+ Soundtracks.

The Hot Tub Contamination

The Big Bang Theory 10×5

& Penny: Okay, I’m confused. Which one is Mr. Robot?
    Leonard: I’ll give you a hint... We’re watching Daredevil.

& Sheldon: Will you two please inform Amy how much you enjoy adhering to a strict bathroom schedule?!
    Penny: Can’t.
    Leonard: Won’t.
    Penny: Didn’t.
    Leonard: Don’t.

& Raj: I’ve never been to Palm Springs.
    Stuart: Oh, you should go. It’s terrific. I-I really thrive anywhere the women and the temperature are over 90.

& Amy: We sleep together once a year! You want other partners?
    Sheldon: Don’t blame me. Blame your pal, biology. He’s the pervert pulling the strings here.

& Howard: Well, pulling a quarter out of your ear isn’t the only magic these hands can do...

& Howard: Can you please stop making money come out of me for two minutes?!

& Bernadette: Who would use our hot tub?..

---

& Leonard: Look, here’s the thing you need to understand about Sheldon: he’s the worst.

& Leonard: I don’t know... What’s a kind of pet that ruins your life?

& Bernadette: I told you raccoons don’t say «Uh-oh!»

& Sheldon: Being with Amy has awoken the sexual creature within. When I see a pretty gal walking down the street, I think, «hubba hubba» like any other guy.
    Penny: You kiss your mother with that mouth?

& Sheldon: ...It’s also why I never open a door without knocking three times. I mean, the first one’s traditional, but two and three are for people to get their pants on.

& Penny: Down the road? Sheldon, she wanted to share a toothbrush holder with you, and now you’re at an ice cream parlor trying to pick up women!..
    Sheldon: Well, anything can sound silly when you put it in that tone.

& Sheldon: I suppose I should apologize to you, as well.
    Penny: O-kay.
    Sheldon: That must have hurt watching me look for other women without ever even considering you... Please understand that I think of you as more of a nanny.

& Bernadette: What do you do in there?!
    Howard: It’s called relaxing, and that’s all you need to know.

& Sheldon: ...And to prove how serious I am about us, I’m willing to take our relationship to the next level.... Amy Farrah Fowler, will you share this toothbrush holder with me?

& Penny: Call me crazy, but I found it moving.

--
On the IMDb

+ Vanity Card # 539!

Goodnight, Sweet Grimm

Grimm 2×22

«And flights of angels
sing thee to thy rest.»
Shakespeare, «Hamlet»

& Nick: That was delicious.
    Juliette: You’re not just saying that?
    Nick: No, if I didn’t like it I wouldn’t have had two pieces.
    Juliette: But see, that’s the problem. By eating two pieces, I thought you were trying to convince me that you loved it but you really didn’t, so you thought you had to eat two pieces to prove to me that you loved it when you... when you just... you didn’t. That make any sense?
    Nick: In a sort of circuitous and very charming way, yes.

---

& Monroe: Well, Nick’s not home, so... Things are, we can assume, going well with Juliette.
    Rosalee: Yeah, it’s great. It’s going great.
    Monroe: And, you know, if Nick doesn’t come home tonight... maybe we should clean up.

& Sgt. Wu: Good morning. Well, not really. We’ve got sort of a mini crime wave situation.

--
+ quotes on the IMDb

Кейт Фокс — Англия и англичане (02)

<< Начало

Правило смущения

&  В сущности, во всей этой путанице с представлениями и приветствиями четко прослеживается лишь одно правило: чтобы вас признали истинным англичанином, вы должны исполнять данные ритуалы плохо — держаться скованно, выказывать смущение и растерянность. Главное, чтобы все видели, что вы испытываете неловкость. Непринужденность, речистость и уверенность неуместны при знакомстве и нетипичны для англичан. Нерешительность, смятение, неумение преподнести себя, как это ни парадоксально звучит, считаются поведенческой нормой. Представляться нужно торопливо и косноязычно: имя произносится неотчетливо, нерешительно протянутая рука тут же отдергивается, в качестве приветствия звучит что-то вроде: «Еr, how, urn, plsm, er, hello?»

&  Не знакомые друг с другом люди могут почти до бесконечности обсуждать погоду или другие столь же нейтральные темы (хотя на самом деле погода — единственно безобидная тема; все остальные темы потенциально «опасны», по крайней мере в отдельных ситуациях, и связаны с определенными ограничениями относительно того, когда, где и с кем каждая из них может обсуждаться).

&  Несоразмерно огромное количество наших главенствующих общественных норм и установлений связано с неприкосновенностью частной жизни: нас учат не лезть не в свое дело, не проявлять любопытство, не откровенничать, не устраивать сцен, не поднимать шум, не привлекать к себе внимания и никогда «не стирать грязное белье на людях».

---

&  Фраза «How are you?» («Как дела?») воспринимается как «настоящий» вопрос только в кругу близких друзей и родных. Во всех остальных случаях на эту приветственную фразу принято машинально отвечать: «Замечательно, спасибо», «Хорошо, спасибо», «Да не жалуюсь», «Неплохо, спасибо», — или примерно так, как бы вы себя ни чувствовали, в каком бы настроении ни пребывали. Если вы смертельно больны, можно сказать: «Ну, с учетом обстоятельств, в общем-то неплохо».

&  Как результат, по причине неизбежности эффекта запретного плода, мы — нация любителей «подглядывать из-за занавесок», бесконечно очарованные частной жизнью «людей из нашего общественного окружения», вторгаться в которую запрещено.

&  В большинстве других культур не считается предосудительным раскрывать свои личные данные — имя, род занятий, семейное положение, наличие детей, место проживания — или интересоваться чужими. Для англичан проявлять интерес к столь очевидно пустячной информации при знакомстве подобно удалению зуба: каждый вопрос заставляет нас морщиться и содрогаться.

Далее >>

The Sum of Us

& Harry Mitchell: He must think he’s meeting Mr. Right, tonight. He won’t be eating any Sara Lee. You’re probably wondering about that. About him meeting Mr. Right. Well, «might as well get it out into the open,» as the actress said to the bishop. He won’t be meeting any girl tonight. He’s what you might call «cheerful.» Can’t bear that other word.

& Harry Mitchell: Well, up your bum.
    Greg: ???
    Jeff Mitchell: It’s just a joke. Dad’s always making jokes.
    Harry Mitchell: Yeah, like that time with the lavender floor polish—
    Jeff Mitchell: Steady on dad, it’s a bit off, that.
    Harry Mitchell: Is that?
    Jeff Mitchell: In company.
    Greg: What was that about lavender floor polish?
    Jeff Mitchell: Don’t worry about it, you wouldn’t be interested. It’s just a misunderstanding.

& Harry: Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do, you two.

& Jeff: «Oh, the agonizing pain of it all,» that’s what she said. I’ve often wondered what she meant but... I suppose I knew, straight away. She just wanted someone to talk to. Someone to laugh with, have a good time with, get drunk with. Cuddle up to. Doesn’t seem a lot to ask, does it?
    I mean, for fuck’s sake, how can you be too bloody domestic?

---

& Joyce: I must say, you always know the right thing to say to a woman.
    Harry: Oh! Life without women would be... like a barbecue without beer, wouldn’t it?

& Harry: You should be out looking at the world, making a contribution. Sowing your oats, eh? Something wonderful, like love, the greatest adventure of all.
    Jeff: I make a contribution, mate. I look after people’s drains. You know, life would be pretty shitty without plumbers.

& Harry: I like women. I like the way they’re put together. I like them all soft and squishy. I like having them, for Pete’s sake!

& Jeff: I do it. Of course I do, who doesn’t? Got to relieve the tension, somehow. But he makes it sound like I’m some sort of rampant sex maniac. You don’t like to think of your own dad doing that, do you? I mean, you know he must. Doesn’t seem quite right, does it?

& Harry: I made up my mind that no matter what, he’d be his own man. And I knew that I’d love him... But he drives me screaming up the wall, sometimes!

& Harry: You’ve done it with girls?! You never told me that.
    Jeff: Yeah. I didn’t want you to get your hopes up.
    Harry: Did you like it?!
    Jeff: See what I mean?

& Harry: Ashamed of Jeff... Never. Disappointed? Yeah, disappointed that... That he’ll never give me a grandchild. Disappointed that I honestly believe he’d be missing out on something wonderful. What I had with his mom, making a baby. Knowing that I’d put the seed in there, and watching it grow, then seeing him. But if he’s never going to have that, then I want him to have all the things he can have.
    Our children are only the sum of us. What we add up to. Us, and our parents and our grandparents and theirs. All the generations.

& Harry: The trouble with having a stroke is that people treat you like a fuckwit afterwards.

& Harry: How do you say «Thank you» for 40 years of love?

--
+ quotes on the IMDb

+ Soundtracks

The Waking Dead

Grimm 2×21

«Papa Ghede
is a handsome fellow
in his hat and coat of black.
Papa Ghede
is going to the palace!
He’ll eat and drink
when he gets back!»
Haitian Voodoo mythology

& Bud: Oh, my God. This is really going to happen. Uh, she should be sitting, maybe with a blanket.

& Juliette: And you’re a Fuchsbau, too?
    Monroe: Not exactly.
    Juliette: You’re something else?
    Monroe: Uh, you could say that.

& Sgt. Wu: This is getting too weird, even for Portland.

---

& Eric Renard: Portland... You are no Vienna. We are home to Beethoven, Brahms, Haydn, Mozart, Schubert, and Strauss. And you are home to... Nike. Yes, you’re no Vienna.

& Eric Renard: How did they come up with the name, do you suppose? They have a port. They have land. Really put a lot of thought into that one.

--
+ quotes on the IMDb

Кейт Фокс — Англия и англичане. О чем молчат путеводители

  “Я сижу в пабе возле вокзала Паддингтон, сжимаю в руках бокал с бренди. ...

&  Англичане нашли себе социального посредника из знакомого им мира природы. Английская погода капризна и переменчива, а это значит, что нам всегда есть что прокомментировать, чему удивиться, о чем высказать предположение или вздохнуть и, пожалуй, самое важное, с чем согласиться.

&  Главное правило ведения разговора о погоде: всегда соглашайся.

&  На вопросительные фразы о погоде типа «Холодно сегодня, правда?», которые служат приветствием или приглашением к разговору, всегда следует давать ответ, но этикет также требует, чтобы в своем ответе вы выразили согласие с суждением собеседника: «Да, в самом деле» или «Мм, очень холодно».
     Не согласившись с собеседником, вы тем самым серьезно нарушите этикет.

&  Ведь мы подвергаем осмеянию буквально все, особенно то, что для нас наиболее свято.

---

&  ...я охарактеризовала разговор о погоде как форму «светской беседы». В принципе хваленая способность человека выражаться сложным витиеватым языком во многом развивается благодаря именно такому типу беседы, являющемуся вербальным эквивалентом выискивания вшей друг у друга или взаимного чесания спин у животных.

Правила знакомства

&  Светская беседа начинается с приветствия. В данном контексте необходимость обсуждения погоды отчасти продиктована тем, что приветствие и знакомство — для англичан затруднительные процедуры. Эта проблема особенно обострилась после того, как фразу «How do you do?» перестали использовать в качестве стандартной универсальной формы приветствия. В аристократических кругах и среди представителей верхушки среднего класса приветствие «How do you do?» — в ответ на которое вы должны, словно эхо или попугай, повторить тот же самый вопрос «How do you do?» — по-прежнему находится в употреблении, а вот остальные выкручиваются кто как может, никогда толком не зная, что сказать.

Правило неназывания имен

&  Англичанин не желает знать чужих имен или называть свое до тех пор, пока не достигается определенная степень близости — например, если вы становитесь женихом его дочери.

&  Вместо того чтобы представляться по имени, лучше попробуйте завязать разговор, произнеся замечание с полувопросительной интонацией по поводу погоды (вечеринки, паба или всякого другого места — того, где вы находитесь). Причем ваша реплика должна быть не слишком громкой, а тон — ненавязчивым и непринужденным, не серьезным и не напряженным. Предполагаемого собеседника следует втянуть в разговор как бы невзначай. Даже если человек, с которым вы хотите познакомиться, выказывает вам расположение, представляться все равно не принято, вы должны сдержать свой порыв.
     В итоге у вас, вероятно, появится возможность обменяться именами со своим собеседником, при условии, что вы не будете давить на него, хотя всегда лучше дождаться, чтобы эта инициатива исходила от вашего нового знакомого.

Далее >>

Cat Ballou

& Cat Ballou: Miss Parker didn’t introduce us. I’m Catherine Ballou.
    Jed: I’m drunk as a skunk.

& Jed: Ma’am, I apologize for my disgusting condition. And I assure you, I will not inflict myself on you any further.

& Clay Boone: I’d rather get cut down in the prime of my young manhood than risk compromising a nice girl like you.

& Clay Boone: What’s your name so’s I can vote for you next election?
    Cat Ballou: Catherine Ballou.

& Frankie Ballou: Shalom aleichem, Jackson Two-Bears.
    Jackson Two-Bears: Mr. Ballou, what’s the use of saying shalom aleichem to me? I’m a full Sioux Indian! I’m not one of the chosen people.

& Cat Ballou: Papa, you’ve gotta do somethin’ about it!
    Frankie Ballou: What we’re gonna do, Catherine, is go on living. We’re gonna eat, we’re gonna sleep, and we’re gonna work. And tomorrow we’re gonna go celebrate the fall harvest day.

& Cat Ballou: You dance so well.
    Jackson Two-Bears: Simple, next to what we learn on the reservation. Buffalo dance. Rain dance. War dance...
    Cat Ballou: Is a square dance anything like a war dance?
    Jackson Two-Bears: This one is.

& Frankie Ballou: Mabel, my six-foot dove!

& Cat Ballou: Everybody has to have some good in him, no matter how depraved and cowardly he thinks he is.
    Clay Boone: You know, you are a sugarplum... You better watch out. Because there are a lot of people that are just as depraved and cowardly as they think they are. And one of them, one of these days, is gonna eat you right up.

& Cat Ballou: You won’t make me cry. You’ll never make me cry!

---

& Kid Shelleen: Cassidy! What happened to you?
    Butch Cassidy: Ah, cavalry, Pinkertons... The west has changed. For us, business is lousy.

& Kid Shelleen: Why don’t we have a drink for old time’s sake?
    Butch Cassidy: «Old time’s sake?» Uh, that means you got no cash.

& Clay Boone: Well, what about you, Jackson? I mean, you being an Indian and all. Uh, you just gonna go back to livin’ off the land?
    Jackson Two-Bears: You foolin’? You try livin’ out in these mountains, naked, nothin’ but a stone ax.

& Cat Ballou: Hole-In-The-Wall’s impregnable!
    Butch Cassidy: No such thing. Takes more trouble than we’ve been worth to dig us out. Now you made it worthwhile!
    Cat Ballou: Some gang of cutthroats and murderers... We used to whisper your names when we were kids. Scared to say them out loud. How sad...

& Cat Ballou: Kid. There’s still places I want to see, and things I want to do. I don’t want to die.

& Clay Boone: What was that for?
    Jackson Two-Bears: Well, everybody else was doing it. I got a right to share in the fun without regard to race, creed or color. According to the 14th Amendment.

& Sir Harry: A little wine with music. Nineteenth century science. Stone age atmosphere. Caveman passion!.. My wallet is in the top drawer.

& Jackson Two-Bears: Kid? Oh, Kid, what a time for you to fall off the wagon. Look at your eyes.
    Kid Shelleen: What’s wrong with my eyes?
    Jackson Two-Bears: Well, they’re red, bloodshot.
    Kid Shelleen: You ought to see them from my side.

--
++ quotes on the IMDb

+ Soundtracks!

Wieners Out

South Park 20×3

& Narrator: Long ago, in the damned and frozen lands of Scandinavia, there were creatures who wreaked havoc on humanity... the troll. They dwelled in rocks, in caves, isolated from civilization. The creatures were ugly, fat, and slow-witted. But some could also look and behave like human beings. These were the most dangerous...

& Butters: The world wants us all to feel shame just ’cause we were all born with wieners!
    Kyle: Butters, you need to calm down.
    Butters: No! .... I’m done feeling guilt. I’m a boy, dag nab it. And you know what, I’m proud of my little wiener! Mark my words... The moment is coming when you all need to decide. Are you with your kind? Or are you with Uncle Kyle?

& P.C. Principal: ...And now, please sit, stand, or kneel for the national anthem.

& Richard: Well, like I was saying, I’ve been addicted to memberberries for about two months now.
    Randy Marsh: It’s okay, man. You’re not alone.
    Richard: It’s just, you know, membering is so much more fun than thinking. I want so bad to go back when things were good... When I was a kid, you know? Like, the ’80s and the ’90s, and things made sense, you know?
    Randy Marsh: And that’s how we got here to this very memberberry election.

& P.C. Principal: Make no mistake. I want to be very upset. However, as a community, we have all decided that people have the right to protest the National Anthem.
    Wendy: They took their wieners out!
    P.C. Principal: Correct. But they did so peacefully and without malice towards others.

& P.C. Principal: I want you to understand something, ladies. I am in a PC pretzel here because if I say they can’t protest even though you protested, and the only difference is their protest included physical gestures, then I’m body-shaming!
    Heidi: So, you’re just gonna let boys take their wieners out whenever they want?!
    P.C. Principal: That’s what happens when you sit out the National Anthem.

---

& Butters: We walk together in peace! We walk together in pride! We are not going to feel ashamed for who we are! We are not going to feel guilt for the way we were born!

& Butters: Don’t let anyone tell you you’re somehow less because you’re a boy! Don’t let anyone tell you to not think with your wiener, as if your wiener is a bad thing! What makes us different makes us beautiful! No more shame! No more doubt! No more bigotry!
    — Wieners out!

& Sheila: Am I doing it right, Gerald?
    Gerald: Yep. So hot, honey. Ugh. Warm. Ugh.

& Eric: That’s cool.
    Kyle: No. I know it’s not cool. I know you’re figuring out how to get back at us.
    Eric: I saw a vagina, Kyle.

& Eric: I’m happier now. I have purpose.
    Kyle: You saw whose vagina?
    Eric: My girlfriend’s. She stood six feet away and flashed it really fast. But in that instant, you know what I saw? I saw that humankind could colonize Mars. I saw the potential of our species to terraform other planets and reach the infinite.

& Heidi: Look, Kyle, I think it’s great you’re trying to patch things up with everyone, but the truth is, Eric and I are just kind of out of it now. We’re just out of it now. We gave up social media and all the ugliness that goes along with it, and we’re in a better place.
    Eric: Humans. On Mars.

& Gerald Broflovski: Don’t you get it? I went protocol zero! I broke my phone! I deleted all my e-mail accounts so that nobody can trace me ever again!
    Dick: They will be able to. Everyone.

& Lennart Bedrager: ...This service is only for tracing the identity of trolls. Thank you. Komme oot troll. Komme oot und dee.

& Dick: Fellow trolls, let me introduce you to... Skankhunt42.
    Gerald Broflovski: I’m not necessarily Skankhunt42.
    Fat Troll: It’s okay, Skank. You are with your kind.

--
On the IMDb

+ Soundtrack.

My Roanoke Nightmare. Chapter 5

American Horror Story

6×5

& Edward Philippe Mott: The art never judges. I envy it. Life in two dimensions. Frozen in forever beauty. To watch the world go by unencumbered by the gossip and the pain of three-dimensional men.

& The Butcher: Deliver yourselves unto me, and I shall grant you a merciful death!

& Edward Philippe Mott: Well, better cold than the heat from The Butcher’s flames.

& Edward Philippe Mott: The living cling to life above all, but the trophy misprized is to die in peace.

& Shelby: Please, please just let us go. We will go back to California and no one will ever see us again.
    Mama Polk: No, they won’t, sweet meat.

---

& Shelby: ...there was only one place worse than where I was. And that was our house.

& Lee: But there was no lie to catch. Because like Mark Twain said, «If you tell the truth, you don’t have to remember anything.»

& The Butcher: ’Tis a mother’s burden to suffer the birth of her babe, but all agony pales when placed in measure with the cold death of a child.

& Shelby: Sh... she was just a little girl. They were monsters.

& Edward Philippe Mott: Go on, now, make your grand escape.

--
On the IMDb