Runaway Devaluation

Silicon Valley 2×2

& Laflamme: ...And did you work on Pied Piper on Hooli time or use Hooli equipment to develop it in any way at any time, Richie?
    Richard: No, and no.
    Laflamme: Great. And by the way, always tell me that... and tell yourself that. Because if you believe it, a jury will, too.
    Richard: Oh, I... I do believe it. It’s the truth.
    Laflamme: Great. That one was even better than the other one. I love it. Always say it exactly like that.

& Richard: It’s... It just sounds really expensive.
    Laflamme: Says the guy who just got bukkaked with fat term sheets. Welcome to the business, Richie.

& Monica: That suit is total nonsense.
    Laurie: Nonsense is not a quantifiable metric, Monica. Risk is.

& Monica: How am I supposed to tell them this?
    Laurie: In my experience, it’s best to look a person in the eye and deliver the information with warmth and compassion.
    Monica: Okay.
    Laurie: One other suggestion... Dress unattractively when you tell them. I read a study. The less sexual interest they feel for you, the less perturbing it will be. It sounds strange, but it’s credible. May I suggest the... The beige ensemble in which you came to work... Tuesday?

& Dinesh: So the company that offered us the most until Richard talked them into offering us the least is now offering us nothing?

---

& Erlich: First off, Monica, you’re not fooling any of us for even a second with your dress-shitty-to-ease-the-pain routine. It’s a classic chick break-up move, and you’re not very good at it either. You look great.
    Jared: Yeah, beige is a good color for you. You’re a true autumn.

& Jared: Uh, guys, I hate to panic you until I’m absolutely sure it’s warranted... but Richard just texted me.

& Erlich: This is a classic brain-rape.
    Jared: We did it at Hooli all the time... It’s like when somebody says they want to go birding with you, but really they just want to get you alone in the woods, so they can take your binoculars.

& Dinesh: You could donate if you want, but he’s throwing away half the world’s market. You know what «bro» means in Mandarin? It means «asshole.» You know what «bro» means in Portuguese? «Rapist.» In Latvian, it roughly translates to «one who beheads the messiah.» In Finnish, «bro» means «a baby’s erection.» In Urdu, «bro» is actually short for... which means «a dildo for a man.» A man’s dildo... «Fecal eclipse.» It loses something in translation. We don’t have a word for it. They do... It’s «bro.» You know what «bro» means in Navajo?.. A really joyful person with mental disabilities.

& Gilfoyle: I’m effectively leveraging your misery. I’m like the Warren Buffett of fucking with you.

& Gavin: What’s the downside?
    Richard: The downside is that everything I’m building becomes the property of your giant, soulless corporation.
    Gavin: And what exactly do you think you’re building? You’re out there trying to get funding so you can hire people, scale up, roll out a product, IPO, and eventually become a publicly-traded what?.. Corporation.

& Richard: You want to know what I say? Okay, here’s what I say.....

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On the IMDb

Σ Brilliant ending.