Alive in Tucson

The Last Man on Earth 1×1

& Phil: Hello, God. First of all, uh, apologies for all the recent masturbation, but I got to say, that’s kind of on you.

& Phil: Salud. That’s a $10,000 bottle of wine, by the way. Goes great with the spaghettios. That was, like, a $400 sip.

& Phil: That is so stupid. I got news for you, Tom Hanks. I will never, ever talk to a volleyball. Not buying it! Balls aren’t people, dude! Balls are for fun.

& Phil: I miss breakfast burritos... Getting mail... Skinny jeans on dudes. Just kidding. Skinny jeans on dudes suck... People. And women! Oh, my God, women.

& Phil: Oh, I would give anything to see another woman again. I would, I would never complain about anything ever again... If I just got to see one more woman.
Ω Be careful what you wish for.

& Phil: I just realized that having other people around is really what makes life worth living.

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& Carol: Are you nice?
    Phil: What?
    Carol: Are you a nice person?!

& Phil: I’m so nice, seriously. I promise you. There is nothing to be afraid of.
    Carol: Nothing of which to be afraid.
    Phil: But I just said that.
    Carol: You can’t end sentences with prepositions! «Nothing of which to be afraid» is the proper grammar!

& Carol: I’m a quick draw. So watch yourself.

& Phil: Phil Miller. Last man on earth.
    Carol: Carol Pilbasian... Last woman on earth.

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On the IMDb