Career Day

Modern Family 4×21

& Lily: What are you doing here? You’re not the tooth fairy!
Mitchell: N-no. But we just wanted to see if she’d come yet.
    Cameron: No. She sure is taking her sweet time. Maybe you should just go back to sleep, sweetie...
    Mitchell: Yeah. ’Cause it could take a while.
    Lily: I’ve got nowhere to be.

& Phil: Okay, before you say no...
    Claire: No.
    Phil: You haven’t even seen it yet.
    Claire: Mm, I’m sticking with «no.»

& Phil: It’s for Luke’s career day. I thought I’d offer the kids a chance to put their face on my body.
    Luke: Ew.

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& Claire: Um, stay-at-home mom. Uh, what that means is I actually have a whole bunch of different jobs. I am a chauffeur, a chef, uh, a house manager, a nurse.
    — Is it what you always wanted to do?
    Claire: No. Not exactly. Uh, I went to college, uh, to study marketing and worked at one of those big hotel companies. But when my kids came along, I just wanted to be there. You know, wipe their noses and change their diapers and tuck ’em in at night.

& Lily: Why did you lie? You said lying was wrong.
    Mitchell: We also said that when someone is in trouble, you help them.
    Lily: How do I know you weren’t lying?

& Phil: Luke, you clean the bathroom.
    Luke: How come I have to do the bathroom?
    Alex: Because you always mess it up?
    Haley: Yeah. Why can’t you pee straight?
    Luke: Hey, I’m doing a great job from that far back.

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