Rome 1x4

Stealing from Saturn

Season 1, Episode 4

& Pompey: Day after tomorrow, we shall be in Capua and you will sleep in a good warm house.
    Cato: Though goatskin has its virtues. Here we are, refugees in our own land.
    Pompey: We are not refugees. We are maneuvering.

& - The goat's testicles, domina.
    Atia: Not for me, fool, for Octavian. ... Eat them while they're warm, my dear. It puts oak in your penis.
    Octavian: I'd rather not.
    Atia: Nonsense, you must. You've been developing a distinctly feminine anima... You'll not leave this room until you do.

& Caesar: 50000 to each of the magistrate's clerks.
    Posca: So much?
    Caesar: I wish to buy their allegiance outright, not lease it. Have them sign for the money.
    Posca: And how much for the subpraetors ?
    Caesar: Nil. When they hear how much the clerks got, they'll come begging.
    Posca: And leave us penniless without means to run the city. We must kill some rich men and take their money very soon, else the well will run dry. Very soon.
    Caesar: I plan on killing no one unless absolutely necessary.
    Posca: A fine noble strategy, an element of surprise no doubt.

& Calpurnia: I believe this is appropriate.
    Caesar: Exactly right, my dear. Regal, but not excessively so.

& Lucius: Fine start to a business this'll be if nobody comes.
    Niobe: Don't worry. They will come. ... They will come. And mind now, when they do come, try to smile occasionally. And don't bark at them.

& Atia: She has a good cosmetics slave, I'll grant you. But a lover for Caesar?.. Absurd.

& Caesar: I am very sorry your son is not here with you.
    Servilia: I'm sorry also. I hope you will forgive his absence. He is ever your friend.
    Caesar: I understand completely. Please send Brutus my best regards and assure him he will never have reason to regret our friendship.

---

& Chief Augur: ... There are even those unwise men who say that a white bird in the Southern quadrant is neither indicant nor negation. Such are the barbarous innovations of our day. Barbarous... We might as well be Syrian. ... It was heard you are a man of modish opinion...
    Caesar: Oh, that's pure scandal. I believe that religion is the province of our worthy priests. Mere soldiers like myself best not interfere.
    Chief Augur: That's very gratifying.

& Caesar: Wife?
    Posca: ...... Caecilia.
    Caesar: Tell me, how is Caecilia?
    Chief Augur: She's healthy, I thank you.
    Caesar: Good. I recall I forgot her last birthday. ... Perhaps she would forgive my rudeness were I to send her a gift.
    Chief Augur: Really, that's not necessary.
    Mark Antony: Hard to find the right gift for a woman, neh? What one loves, another scorns. Perhaps she would accept some money.
    Caesar: There's an idea. 100000 sesterce, say?..
    Chief Augur: Oh, that's very kind of you. I'm afraid my wife is a woman of expensive tastes.
    Mark Antony: The best women often are.
    Caesar: 150000.
    Chief Augur: She would dress her slaves in silk if I would let her. She eats oysters for breakfast daily.
    Mark Antony: She should be most careful. People often choke on oysters.
    Caesar: 200000.
    Chief Augur: That is a very generous, and I may say, appropriate gift. She would be under great obligation to you. {...} She's always thought well of you.
    Caesar: It is not unethical she continue to do so. ... Make a note of it. 200 to the Chief Augur.
    Posca: Thinks he's Midas, the loon.

& Pullo: The way I see it: we put little Quintus here in the Tiber right off, get us a wagon, sneak out to where the gold's buried, dig it up, ride like Zephyrus for the coast, and get the first tide for Spain.
    Lucius: I'm trying to think.
    Pullo: What was wrong with that?
    Lucius: What's wrong?! Even if it were not a monstrous sin to steal sacred property of Rome...
    Pullo: I wasn't to know, was I?

& Mark Antony: You're sure to regret letting that one live. He has a malevolent spirit.
    Caesar: There's many left undead I'll regret before I'm done.

& Caesar: Legionary Pullo. You are a thief. A foolish, incompetent thief. But you have served us well in the past. So we will pretend your foolishness is a species of honesty, and let you go unpunished. In fact, I think we shall reward you. I do not like to quarrel with Fortune, and clearly she's taken you for a pet. When you find the trove, give him 100 gold pieces.
    Pullo: Thank you, sir!
    Mark Antony: As you wish.

& Caesar: Why do you frown, little owl?
    Octavian: Marc Antony speaks sense. Truce now does not seem tactically correct.
    Caesar: Depends on terms.
    Octavian: You offer terms that Pompey cannot accept but Cicero and the Senate can.
    Caesar: Swift...

& Octavian: Should we not fetch a doctor?
    Posca: We should not. At all costs, he cannot have his affliction known. No one will follow a man whom Apollo has cursed with the morbus.

& Chief Augur: Great Jupiter, graciously give us clear signs within the bounds I have traced. ... The auguries are good.


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