Middle Men (1/2)

& Jack: See, life’s all about choices, choices we keep telling ourselves are for the greater good. But somewhere deep inside, we know they’ll lead to a place like this. And it wasn’t greed or ego that got me here. I’m here because of what I had a hand in creating. It wasn’t something that would change the world for the better, it wasn’t something that would put me in the history books, make me a household name or get me a statue in a park. But I did have a hand in creating the greatest invention of our time. I inadvertently changed the world as we know it. My name is Jack Harris and I figured out a better way for guys to jerk off.
    Never in the history of the world have the merchants of obscenity* had available to them the modern facilities for disseminating* this filth*. Men have been jerking off since the beginning of time. {...} Men are always thinking about sex. About every ten seconds some sick, perverted, degenerate thought goes through a man’s mind. From the very moment a man figures out his hand can reach his dick... he’s figuring out a new way to pull on it. I mean, it’s no secret. {...}
    This is the space shuttle. It costs $450 million every time it’s launched by Uncle Sam and your tax dollars. Guess what’s on it?.. A billion dollar satellite. And why do you think they’re launching that thing?.. It’s all part of the Internet. But if you think it has anything to do with helping your kids learn... or Daddy reading stats on Tiger Woods... or Mommy and Grandma learning how to bake the perfect chocolate cake... then you’re out of your mind. Just follow the money.
    The porn industry takes in over $57 billion a year worldwide, with no one ever admitting that they watch. This is going on every second of every day, all over the world. Gone are the days of trips to seedy bookstores in the dead of night. Or hiding in the adult section of your local video store. Or waiting for a plain brown paper-wrapped package to come in the mail. Whatever you want to see is there in your home or office, 24 hours a day. And it’s ready when you are. Discretely, privately, and in whatever flavor you choose.
    Pure Americana.

& Jack: I was one of those guys living in a Norman Rockwell painting. And looking back, I had no idea how happy I really was.

& Jack: Look, do we want to get the money or do we want to break this guy’s legs? I say we get the money, you know?
    Louie LA LA: I’m in a quandary*.
    Jack: I learned that day you can negotiate your way out of anything. You just had to find some common ground.

& Wayne Beering: My point is we take some pictures from a magazine, we scan them, we upload them and we make a little money. This has a lot of potential for you getting really rich. {...} Let me get this straight. You go to the website...
    Buck Dolby: Are you making fun of me?!
    Wayne: No, no, no!
    Buck: You start your thing, right? You finish, you clean yourself off, you go to the filing cabinet, take out your checkbook, write your check...
    Wayne: No, it’s like a subscription. Like a subscription to a magazine. {...} People do that all the time.
    Buck: They send in checks. Or go to the bank and get a money order?
    Wayne: Call in their credit cards.
    Buck: Who the fuck is gonna give you their credit card? ... Punch in the numbers?
    Wayne: Why are you being so negative?!
    Buck: I’m not being negative! There is no program for that. {...} You swipe your credit card in the fucking computer?
    Wayne: No, you dial it in. It’s zeros and ones. Why are you being so negative?
    Buck: There is no program for this.
    Wayne: You punch in your numbers on the fucking credit... What’s wrong with that? What are you doing?!
    Buck: Do not interrupt me for 15 minutes.

& Jack: Being a rocket scientist had its advantages. Within 15 minutes, Buck had written the program that is the standard today for any online credit card transaction.

---

& Buck: So I hooked a buzzer up. Every time we make a sale, the buzzer will go off.

& Buck: How much you wanna charge for it?
    Wayne: Ten dollars.
    Buck: Why don’t you make it $9.99?.. Psychologically, it makes people feel better.

& Buck: So three or four days go by, not a single buzzer. {...} And then... Did I just hear right?
    Wayne: Yeah, we just made $9.99.
    Buck: At 4:15 in the morning?! Oh, God, the guy’s gotta be a pervert just like you.

& Buck: All right, look, so I’ve got this thing set up so that we can tell what pics we’re selling based on the sound, all right? So the buzzer is the trailer trash. The chime is for the women over 40. The whistle is for all the big titty stuff. And the bells... are for the ass-fucking housewives, which is what you want.
    Wayne: Why a whistle?
    Buck: What do you mean?
    Wayne: Why the whistle for the big titty stuff?
    Buck: I don’t know, I just thought that, you know, when you see a woman walking down the street with big tits, you whistle.
    Wayne: No, that’s stupid. The bells should be for the big titty stuff because tits are like bells.
    Buck: Tits are like bells? Since when?
    Wayne: Yeah. Just change it.
    Buck: No, I’m not gonna change it.
    Wayne: Just fuckin’ change it! The tits should be for the bells. The bells should be for the tits!
    Buck: And the ass-fuckin’ housewives should be whistles?
    Wayne: Yeah, what is wrong with that?
    Buck: That’s stupid!
    Wayne: It’s not stupid. When you stick your dick in a chick’s ass...
    Buck: She what? She whistles?!


-- Dict:
obscenity — непристойность
disseminating — распространение
filth — грязь
quandary — затруднительное положение; затруднение; недоумение

2 Finish