The Zarnecki Incursion*
Season 4, Episode 19
& Sheldon: Why hast Thou forsaken me, o Deity Whose existence I doubt?
Cop: Here. Breathe into this bag.
& Leonard: What’s going on?
Sheldon: They stole everything, Leonard! Everything.
Cop: Are you the roommate?
Leonard: Yeah, Leonard Hofstadter. What happened?
Cop: Your friend here called 911 to report a robbery.
& Leonard: Oh, my God, what did they get?!
Sheldon: They got my enchanted weapons, my vicious* gladiator armor, my wand of untainted* power, and all my gold!
Leonard: You called the police because someone hacked your World of Warcraft account?
Sheldon: What choice did I have? The mighty Sheldor, level 85 blood elf, hero of the Eastern kingdoms, has been picked clean, like a carcass in the desert sun. Plus, the FBI hung up on me.
& Cop: Good luck, fellas.
Leonard: Oh. Well, thank you, officer.
Sheldon: Wait a minute! You’re not going to do anything?
Cop: Mr. Cooper, there’s nothing...
Sheldon: Dr. Cooper!
Cop: Seriously?!
Leonard: Not the kind with access to drugs!
& Sheldon: Can you at least refer me to a rogue* ex-cop?
Cop: What?!
Sheldon: Wh... you know, one who was drummed off the force because he refused to play by the rules, and now he hires himself out to impose his own brand of rough justice?
Cop: ........... No.
& Sheldon: What kind of world do we live in, where a man would take another man’s battle ostrich?
& Sheldon: Three thousand hours. Three thousand hours clicking on that mouse, collecting weapons and gold. It’s almost as if it was a huge waste of time.
& Sheldon: There isn’t enough chamomile tea in the world to quell* the rage in my heart.
& Raj: Hold on. I’m talking to an orc under the bridge in Thunder Bluff who says if we pay him, he’ll help us track down your things.
Sheldon: Can we trust him?
Raj: I should say so; he appears to be a member of the Nigerian royal family.
& Penny: Sorry, Sheldon. I know that game meant a lot to you.
Sheldon: What... “that game”? Excuse me, Penny, but Doodle Jump is a game. Angry Birds is a game. World of Warcraft is a massively multi-player online role-playing... all right, technically it’s a game.
& Penny: I brought you a day-old cheesecake to cheer you up!
Sheldon: Stale* pastry* is hollow* succor* to a man who is bereft* of ostrich.
Penny: Just say “thank you.”
Sheldon: I thought I just did!
& Priya: Oh! Hello.
Penny: Oh, hi! I was just dropping off a cheesecake to Sheldon. He was robbed of a bunch of imaginary crap that’s useful in a make-believe place.
Priya: I don’t even know what that means.
Penny: Yeah, well... sadly, I do.
& Penny: Did you know last weekend Priya took Leonard rollerblading at the beach? Can you believe that?
Bernadette: I feel like I’m supposed to say “that bitch,” but I don’t have enough information.
& Penny: Want some coffee liqueur on your ice cream?
Amy: Ah, here’s the alcohol and drug peer pressure mother warned me about. I was starting to think it was never going to happen. Yes, please. ... Here, I’m drunk.
& Penny: You know, for the first couple of months, whenever I would take off my bra, he would giggle and say, “Oh, boy, my breast friends!”
& Howard: All right, here we are... this is the tavern where all the black-market weapon trades go down.
Raj: I don’t think my character should be in a place like this. Everyone’s undressing her with their eyes.
Howard: Maybe if you stop dropping your sword and bending over to pick it up.
& Priya: Leonard, you’re busy... let’s talk tomorrow.
Leonard: Oh, wait. Hang on. Are you upset?
Priya: No, no, I think it’s sexy to date a boy trapped in a man’s body.
Leonard: Good, good... I’ll tell you what happens.
Sheldon: And people think I don’t get sarcasm.
& Amy: Four women walk down the stairs... how many reach the lobby?
& Sheldon: Excellent! It’s in a cul-de-sac. We can box him in.
Leonard: Hold on, you’re thinking of going there?
Sheldon: Carlsbad is only a couple of hours away.
Leonard: Fine. You walk up to the house, knock on the door and demand your stuff back.
& Leonard: What if he says no?
Sheldon: I don’t know if you’ve been following the news, Leonard, but there have been some terrific advancements in the field of torture.
Leonard: No one’s getting tortured.
Sheldon: Fine, we’ll abide by the Geneva Convention.
& Howard: Why did you bring that?
Sheldon: No weapon strikes more fear into a man’s heart than a Klingon bat’leth.
& Sheldon: Can I at least kick down the door?
Leonard: You’re welcome to try, but the other day, it took you 15 minutes to get into a FedEx box.
& Todd Zarnecki: Who is it?
Sheldon: Your doom!
Raj: Don’t say “your doom.” Who opens the door for their doom?
Sheldon: Good point. Basket of puppies.
& Leonard: Anybody know anything about internal combustion engines?
Howard: Of course.
Sheldon: 19th-century technology.
Raj: Very basic.
Leonard: Does anybody know how to fix an internal combustion engine?
Howard: No.
Sheldon: No.
Raj: Not a clue.
Leonard: Well, we’d better call somebody to come pick us up.
Sheldon: It’d be swell if they had a train. ....... Thank you, Penny.
& Penny: So, Leonard, I think it’s interesting you didn’t call your girlfriend to come get you.
Leonard: Uh, I kind of told her I was working.
Penny: So you lied to her. Also interesting.
Leonard: Yeah, she doesn’t really understand the whole Warcraft adventure-role-playing thing.
Penny: Well, doesn’t matter if she gets it, as long as she’s pretty.
Howard: This one’s funny, Leonard. How come you couldn’t make it work with her?
& Sheldon: What are you doing?
Penny: I’m gonna show you how we finish a quest in Nebraska.
& Penny: Oh. Beyonce. ... This ain’t no Beyonce.
& Todd Zarnecki: Now what?
Penny: Give my friend his stuff back.
Todd Zarnecki: I don’t know what you’re talking about.
Penny: Well, then, good news. Today’s the day a girl’s finally going to touch you in your little special place. ... Now give him his stuff back.
Todd Zarnecki: O-o-o-kay.
Sheldon: We did it!
Penny: .......
Sheldon: I said, “we.”
--- Dict:
Incursion — вторжение; набег; нашествие; наступление; наезд
vicious — порочный
untainted — незапятнанный
rogue — норовистый; жулик; мошенник; негодяй
quell — подавлять; успокаивать
Stale — Черствый
pastry — печенье
hollow — полый
succor — помогать
bereft — лишенный
On Imdb.
__ Really gr8 1.
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