Killing Is My Business, Honey

& Bob: When I suffer, Dad’s mood improves. You know what his latest threat was?.. He’ll only pay for the wedding if Julia wears Mom’s dress. And if she doesn’t like it?
    Dr. Gruber: React as we practiced in the session.
    Bob: Hide behind the couch and cry?
    Dr. Gruber: The other session!

& Bob: Julia! I have the solution to all... our problems.
    Julia: I stopped drinking!
    Bob: No, not that. Let’s elope*. I’ll get a real job and come home all sweaty and dirty. You’ll be waiting with our five kids, dinner ready on the table. It’ll be hard, but we’ll feed the kids somehow.

& Dentist: Signore Marino, this may hurt.
    Salvatore Marino: Be careful. Or you’ll be calling yourself Signora Dentista from now on.

& Baldini: I have good news for you. I’ve dealt with our Puzzo problem.
    Marino: At last! And to think I nearly shot my dentist.

& Toni: You know they’re chocolate beans?
    Julia: Sorry. I just adore those things. Comfort food, know what I mean?
    Toni: Pardon me?
    Julia: Comfort food. Everything okay?
    Toni: Have you eaten yet? I mean, would you go to dinner with me?

---

& Bob: Yes, yes, Dad. Puzzo is so close to signing that damned contract. ... No, I didn’t say damned. ... Honest. ... Okay. Yes, I’ll do that. ......
    Dr. Gruber: What are you doing, Bobfried?!
    Bob: Just have to wash my mouth out. Dad doesn’t like cursing.

& Dr. Gruber: Don’t you think it’s about time you stood up to your dad?
    Bob: Impossible. I had a party. Even though I wasn’t allowed. I thought he was away. Then he turned up. He gave me a thrashing in front of all the girls, dragged me into my room and grounded me for two weeks.
    Dr. Gruber: That happens to most kids.
    Bob: It was last year.

& Dr. Gruber: Bob, your life is not defined by your father’s opinion of you. Try to remember the mantra.
    Bob: A killing spree* solves nothing.
    Dr. Gruber: The other!

& Marino: Puzzo! At last I get to see your ugly mug. Time to bring the Mafia Diaries chapter to a close.

& Toni: We write the novel in four days...
    Pepe: Four days?! I don’t even know where to start.
    Toni: You’ll think of something.

& Pepe: Gino, are you familiar with the concept of sharing?

& Helmut Münchinger: I’m too old for this kung-fu bullshit.

& Münchinger: Steel plate. Beer festival injury.

& Bob: Mr. Garcia?
    Herbert Müllerhiegler: In my country, they call me “El Toro”.
    Bob: And they say you’re the best.
    Müllerhiegler: Oh yes, I am the beast.

& Julia: You read my mind.
    Toni: My specialty. Now it’s your turn. What am I thinking about now?
    Julia: ... World peace?
    Toni: That too.

& Toni: I didn’t kill him! He managed it on his own.

& Bob: What a joy that we’re to be joined in matrimony.
    Marino: Until death do you part.

& Marino: Where is the Puzzo manuscript?
    Julia: It’s a real long story.
    Marino: Then you’d better tell me the short version.
    Julia: I’m not the least bit impressed by your “piece”. Dr., what do you think to affitin... Affinity for guns?
    Dr. Gruber: Clearly a phallic symbol, indicating a lack of sexual confidence, or suppressed homosexuality.
    Marino: One more word... And I’ll give you another rectum.
    Dr. Gruber: See?


--Dict:
elope — сбежать; сбежать с возлюбленным
adore — обожать; поклоняться
spree — веселье; кутеж; загул; шалости; пьянка


On Imdb.

__ Дешево и... нескучно.