Life as We Know It

Amy Winehouse - You No I'm No Good

& Messer: So where shall we go?
    Holly: Uh... where did you make the reservations? That... you said... you were gonna make. You didn’t make them?
    Messer: I said that?!

& Messer: Look, it’s a Saturday night. I just wanna have some fun. I can go see my sick friend, and you can go do... whatever it is you like to do on a Saturday night. You look like you read. You can go read a book. Do you blog?
    Holly: Do I blog?! Okay. You know what? If you wanted to ensure that this wasn’t gonna be a lousy night, here’s a tip: Don’t show up an hour late, and don’t make a booty* call.
    Messer: She’s sick!
    Holly: Oh, right. Were you going to heal her with your magic penis?

& DeeDee: Well, you serve good meats and cheeses. I think we were all talking about that.
    Holly: Thank you.
    DeeDee: That’s something. I think that’s good to have as a skill. Did you wrap those?
    Holly: Yes, I did.
    DeeDee: Look at that. She wraps. I don’t touch meat. Only with my lips.

& Alan: Simon, I asked for shooting percentages. Let’s go. You’re too ugly not to be smarter.

& Messer: And what do you do? You bake scones for a living?
    Holly: I run a successful business. I do pretty well.
    Messer: Yeah? Well, running a baby is not like running a bakery.
    Holly: I didn’t say it was.
    Messer: They’re a mess. They pee on things. They bite. They’re basically dogs. Except at least a dog knows not to lick the electrical sockets.

& Messer: Well, we could go with the nine-kids family. I mean, they clearly know how to keep a child alive... Stripper seemed nice... Yeah. And the grandpa’s a definite no?.. We’re screwed.

& Holly: Do you smell that?.. Oh, maybe she finally pooped. Did she?
    Messer: Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. I think she...
    Holly: What?! It’s not that bad... Oh, Soph. It’s a weird smell, right?
    Messer: Okay. Go ahead.
    Holly: What?! Why me? Because I’m the girl?
    Messer: Yeah.
    Holly: No. Uh-uh. I am not changing diapers for the next two years. Get in there.
    Messer: Okay, fine. Easy. It’s not that...
    Holly: Something you can take off the checklist. Check. What are you doing?!
    Messer: I don’t know. It’s not a bra that I’m taking off a chick, it’s a diaper.
    Holly: It’s not rocket science. Take the tabs off. See those little tabs? Undo them... Holly: Oh, God! Don’t do that!! You’re gonna make me throw up.
    Messer: It’s like Slumdog Millionaire in there.
    Holly: You’re gonna make me throw up.
    Messer: She didn’t eat enough to produce that.

& Messer: ... So I’m at the drugstore... and it dawns on me that women stare at men carrying a baby... like a guy will stare at a woman with a great rack*.

---

& Messer: Well, I’m the technical director on all Hawks broadcasts.
Janine Groff, caseworker from Social Services: Okay.
Messer: Yeah.
Janine: So, what does the technical director do?
Messer: Well, when the director says, “Ready, go Camera 1,” I’m the guy that... I push the button that goes Camera 1.
Holly: He pushes the button.

& Janine: Listen. You two both seem like two sweet, doe*-eyed people... about to have the worst year of your lives. I’ll be honest with you. Wanna make jokes about tranny hookers*? Go for it, I don’t care. You have no idea the types of families that I deal with. Tranny hookers? They’re my good cases. The only obstacle here is... you two. And whether or not you’re both cut out to be parents.

& Messer: Hey, everybody. This is Sophie and her nanny... Walter.

Holly: God, I am so sorry, Messer.
Messer: Don’t worry about it.
Holly: I’m gonna pay for it, I promise.
Messer: I’m actually in awe*. You didn’t even drive it a foot before you destroyed it.

& Simon: You’re my last single friend. Without you, I have no link to the outside.
Messer: Look, I don’t know why we did it. We just... We just did.
Simon: Do you know what marriage is like? Imagine a prison... And then don’t change anything.
Messer: We’re not married.
Simon: You guys are raising a kid together. That’s the most married you can get.

& Holly: Okay, that was bad.
Sam: Yeah, maybe we did go too fast. You have unresolved feelings for him.
Holly: Messer and I barely got along under the best circumstances... and there weren’t very many of those either.
Sam: If my wife and I fought like that... well, we’d still be married.

& Janine: ... It’s just, you ran all the way there... and I thought when I took Sophie, it would be, you know, okay.
Holly: I know. You know, you did great, you did.
Janine: Don’t worry about me. I’ll be fine, I will.
Holly: And maybe this is the way things were meant to be, so...
Janine: You’re just gonna be so unhappy... I’m not gonna start crying again.
Holly: I should get Sophie inside.


-- Dict:
booty — добыча; трофеи
rack — рама; каркас; кормушка
doe — лань
tranny hooker — транссексуал-проститутка
awe — благоговение; трепет


+ on Imdb.



__ Sweet. Nice.

+ Katherine Heigl did not need to reincarnate in this movie after The Ugly Truth. Same [[very] nice] bitch. Inter alia, she's the very moral of Barbara Brylska in the Enjoy your Bath! :)