The Dig
Season 7, Episode 18
& Foreman: Where are you?
House: On my way to the greater Schenectady chili cook-off and spud* gun competition.
Taub: That’s your honeymoon?
House: Nope, Dominika went to A.C. with her boyfriend.
& Thirteen: You’re married?
House: You were gone so long... Green card.
& Thirteen: Thanks for not saying anything. I just need some time to...
House: I didn’t do it for you. Some puzzles are just too good to share.
& Thirteen: Chili?
House: I hate chili. Love spud guns.
& House: One, you were in jail for six months, but you were gone about a year, which means that when you left you hadn’t been arrested. Two, you enjoy being known as a number. You don’t want people to know the real you, because you think the real you is weak. You were running... A bleeding-heart medical consulting business for illegals, or some other sympathetic under-class?
Thirteen: No.
House: Over-class?
Thirteen: This interrogation thing is getting annoying.
House: Studies have shown that un-annoying interrogation is 50% less effective.
& Foreman: You gonna tell me where you were last night?
Taub: I ran into a friend.
Foreman: We had 50 bucks on the Bulls. I had to eat a large pizza by myself...
Taub: You missed me.
Foreman: Not as much as I miss my $50. ... Where’d you meet her?
Taub: At the hospital.
Foreman: If it’s Masters, just lie to me.
& House: You were writing bogus prescriptions for medical marijuana? Please say no because you have to be an idiot to actually screw that up.
Thirteen: ... No. I mean, I was, but I didn’t get caught.
House: I have to admit, you have one of the best game faces I’ve ever seen. Also... one of the best game bodies.
& Thirteen: Hang on a second.
House: Didn’t know you were a Jehovah’s Witness.
Thirteen: Yeah, the weak lost faith when Christ didn’t return in ’75, but I still believe.
& Patient: You broke into my home?
Taub: We slowly pushed into your home.
& Foreman: We’re also gonna need a psych consult.
Patient: I’m not a hoarder*. I’m just a major slob*.
Taub: You save earwax.
& Thirteen: I killed a man.
& Chase: Someone’s got to go back into that place and test for C.O.
Martha: Chase and I can go. ... It’s only fair.
Taub: Fairness is important.
& Thirteen: You’re awfully quiet.
House: Sorry. That’s just how I get around people who have recently killed a man.
& Martha: We should treat this like an archaeological dig. Grid the site, excavate, catalog, analyze... You don’t think this is fascinating?
Chase: Not nearly as fascinating as the fact that you think it’s fascinating.
& Foreman: On my sofa.
Taub: Oh. Uh. Hey. You remember my wife.
Rachel: Hi, Eric.
Taub: Hey, rt92.
& Thirteen: We’re celebrating. We’re going rogue. We rip out the combustion valve, replace it with disks. With enough pressure, it should blow out at maximum velocity.
House: Turning the spud into spudnik... You’re a genius.
& Chase: ... Hydrogen sulfide is also a vasodilator*.
House: Which my crack team never tested the place for. Of course, half my crack team never tested the place for people.
Martha: So we should go back, check it out.
Chase: Might be safer to just assume we’re right and start treatment.
House: Go with God... And some air freshener.
& Taub: You’re mad.
Foreman: No. Actually, I’m impressed. Messing around on a 22-year-old hottie with your wife on my sofa. You’re a full-throttle* head case.
Taub: I was doing you a solid* with the sofa. Rachel wanted to do it in your bed.
Foreman: Let’s make this really simple: If I own it, I don’t want you doing it on it.
Taub: You might want to get rid of your kitchen table...
& Thirteen: You always get your way, don’t you?
House: ... Not always. Today would have been our one-year anniversary. Which is an incredibly arbitrary* thing to celebrate.
& House: It takes two to not-tango.
Taub: Hubby could be shooting blanks.
House: So either it’s a new symptom that will help us save her life or it’s a complete waste of time. ... Figure out which is fried, the bacon or the eggs.
Martha: I’ll start the hormone workup.
Thirteen: There’s another option!
& Foreman: House, who’s that?
House: Radio.
Taub: Sounded a lot like Thirteen.
House: It’s a Thirteen tribute band with their new song, “I’ve got a better theory than Masters.”
& Thirteen: Can I talk? She said they never had kids, and you all jumped to infertility. You never considered the other option...
House: And the bitch is back.
& Rachel: We spent our whole lives trying to do everything right, and it sucked.
Taub: It wasn’t all bad.
Rachel: It sucked, Chris. And this... whatever it is... it’s fun.
Taub: So... I’m not taking advantage of you?
Rachel: The fun is fading*.
Taub: You know... there’s something seriously wrong with us.
Rachel: I know.
& House: Home, sweet home. ... You owe me 87 bucks for gas. ... I’ll kill you. ... When the time comes, if you want me to. I’ll do it now if you like. I think I’ve got a baseball bat in the back.
& Thirteen: I’ll see you Monday.
--- Dict:
spud — картофелина
hoarder — накопитель
slob — неряха
vasodilator — сосудорасширяющий фактор
full-throttle — полный газ
solid — чистый; веский
arbitrary — условный; случайный
fading — блекнуть; постепенно исчезать; отцветать; замирать; утихать
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