The Hesitation Ramification

The Big Bang Theory 7×12

& Amy: Can we maybe put the phones down and have an actual human conversation?
    Sheldon: We can... but thanks to Steve Jobs, we don’t have to.

& Leonard: So i-it’s just flirting?
    Penny: Well, yeah. Why?
    Leonard: Uh, no reason. I just think it’s sexier when things are left to the imagination.
    Amy: ... He’s wrong.

& Sheldon: I believe that a joke is a brief oral narrative with a climactic humorous twist. For example, uh, Wolowitz’s mother is so fat that she decided to go on a diet... or exercise, or both. ... See? The twist is that people don’t usually change. ... Well, they don’t.

& Sheldon: Perhaps I’ll spend some time developing a unified theory of comedy, which will allow me to elicit laughter from anyone at any time. Unless they’re German, ’cause that’s a tough crowd.
    Leonard: Are you set on people laughing with you? ’Cause if you’re cool with at you...
    Sheldon: .... I don’t get it.

& Bernadette: Raj, when you said you were gonna bring a date to watch Penny’s thing tonight, I didn’t think you meant Stuart.

& Leonard: I’m so proud of you.
    Penny: We haven’t even gotten to my scene yet.
    Leonard: I know, but you’re going to be a TV star and you haven’t left me yet. That takes guts.

& Sheldon: I’ve been studying how to make people laugh. They say that comedy is tragedy plus time. ... Let’s tickle some ribs.

---

& Penny: I want you, right now, to give me your 100% honest opinion.
    Leonard: Right.
    Penny: Do you think I have what it takes to really make it as an actress?
    Leonard: Yes.
    Penny: So you think I’ll be on TV and in movies and win awards.
    Leonard: Honestly?
    Penny: Yes, honestly.
    Leonard: I don’t.
    Penny: How could you say that?!
    Leonard: I don’t know... I got all confused when you said “honestly”.

& Raj: On any level, do you think she’s hot?

& Sheldon: Kumquat?
    Amy: I guess.
    Sheldon: Ointment?
    Amy: Sure.
    Sheldon: Now, would you say ointment is more, equal to, or less funny than kumquat?
    Amy: ... I don’t think I want to go out with you anymore.

& Amy: Sheldon, how many words are you gonna go through?
    Sheldon: All of them.

& Leonard: Hey. Can we talk?
    Penny: We can, but the part of Penny might get cut.

& Leonard: Look, maybe it is a long shot, but sometimes long shots happen. Luke Skywalker was only given one chance to destroy the Death Star. He had to get a torpedo into an exhaust port that was only two meters wide, but with the help of The Force, he... Wow, I can feel you hating me right now.

& Raj: Yeah, maybe talking to people is too hard.
    Stuart: We could go over to that department store, practice on the mannequins.
    Raj: I don’t know. They’re dressed very stylishly. They’re probably stuck-up.

& Howard: Yeah? Well, I fake my orgasms.

& Penny: It’s not, okay?! I’ve been out here for, like, ten years! I’ve nothing to show for it!
    Leonard: Well, you have me.
    Penny: You’re right... I do have you. Mm... Let’s get married.

& Penny: Leonard Hofstadter... will you marry me?
    Leonard: Um...

& Sheldon: Who’s in the mood to laugh?!

& Sheldon: So, a sandwich, a rabbi and yo mama walk into a bar.

& Stuart: How about those guys on that bench over there? They look pathetic. I bet we could talk to them.
    Raj: That’s a mirror.

--
On the IMDb