Chocolate Diddlers or My Puppy's Dead

Two and a Half Men 8×12

& Charlie: You are so beautiful.
    Courtney: Thank you.
    Charlie: Your hair, your eyes, it’s just amazing.
    Courtney: Charlie!
    Charlie: And this body, it’s just perfect.
    Courtney: Thank you!
    Charlie: So why don’t I wanna have sex with you anymore?

& Courtney: Every time I looked up, you were somewhere else.
    Charlie: I was making believe you were another woman.
    Courtney: Well, that doesn’t necessarily mean it’s over.
    Charlie: I pretended you were the big blue chick from Avatar.
    Courtney: It’s over.

& Charlie: Let me tell you something, Alan, for every gorgeous woman in the world... there’s a guy out there who’s tired of banging her.
    Alan: But that guy’s never me!

& Charlie: ...So anyway, she dumped me for a nice guy. But I got right back on the horse and married a drug-addled stripper.
    Veronica: And that didn’t work out?
    Charlie: Not for the reasons you’d think. She was already married.

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& Alan: What do you want me to do, Judith? He’s a drunk with a lot of money. You can’t control people like that. The best you can do is stay on their good side... so you can inherit their house after they crap out their liver. As a matter of fact, I have given it a lot of thought.

& Alan: Uh, just to put it on the record. I’m officially telling you on behalf of my ex-wife, don’t ever do that again.
    Charlie: Don’t ever do what again?
    Alan: It doesn’t matter. I fulfilled my obligation.

& Charlie: You know, Alan, I’m starting to think I’m not living up to my full potential.
    Alan: Really? You think you can hump and drink even more?

& Charlie: If I’m doing something wrong, it would be helpful if I had a clue what it was.
    Dr. Linda: Well, if you had to guess, what would you say you’re doing wrong?
    Charlie: I don’t know. I love too much?
    Dr. Linda: ... Guess again.

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On the IMDb

Σ Slightly uncomfortable to watch and know that Charlie was going to die very soon.