The Habitation Configuration

The Big Bang Theory 6x7

& Sheldon: I’ll be right back. Feel free to play with yourself.

& Amy: I don’t care for your friend, he’s being rude to me. You need to ask him to leave.
    Sheldon: Amy, I can’t just ask Wil Wheaton to leave. He’s a minor celebrity! Once you explain who he is, many people recognize him.
    Amy: Fine. Then maybe I should go...
    Sheldon: Could you? That would solve everything. You are the best. I’ll see you at dinner tonight?

& Bernadette: Every time we eat dinner here, your mother refuses to let me help with the dishes.
    Howard: Don’t take it personally. She likes doing them by herself so she can lick the plates with no one looking.

& Mrs. Wolowitz: Howard, help! My hand’s stuck in the garbage disposal!
    Howard: Let go of whatever piece of food you’re holding!
    Mrs. Wolowitz: Are you kidding?! It’s a perfectly good chicken leg!

& Amy: I’m mad at you, Sheldon.
    Sheldon: Hmm. Eat one of your Luna bars.
    Amy: ???
    Sheldon: Very often when women think they’re angry, they’re really just hungry.
    Amy: I’m not hungry. Your friend insulted me, and you didn’t do anything.
    Sheldon: Precisely, I didn’t do anything.

& Sheldon: Wow, Amy’s mad and Leonard was right. What a weird day.

---

& Penny: Hey. Sorry this took so long. But you used to work here, you know how it is.
    Bernadette: Kitchen slammed again?
    Penny: No, I’m a terrible waitress, remember?

& Howard: I was thinking tomorrow might not be great...
    Bernadette: What’s your excuse this time?
    Howard: No excuse. It’s just, you know, I’m Jewish, and technically, we’re not supposed to drive or carry anything on the Sabbath... So this one’s on God.
    Bernadette: That might be a little more convincing if you didn’t have a mouthful of bacon cheeseburger.

& Howard: My religion’s kinda loosey-goosey. Basically, as long as you got your schmekel clipped and don’t wear a cross, you’re good.

& Sheldon: Amy... Amy... Angry Amy.

& Sheldon: I’ve been thinking about what happened, and I hope this gift will make things better.
    Amy: Star Trek DVDs?.. Why would I want this?
    Sheldon: First of all, you’re welcome. Furthermore, not being familiar with Wil Wheaton’s body of work, there was no way for you to know you were being rude to a national treasure... Get ready for 130 hours of “I told you so.”

& Sheldon: Penny, if you wouldn’t mind, I’d like to have a conversation about girls.
    Penny: I had a feeling we’d have a talk like this sooner or later. Are you finally getting fuzz in weird places?

& Penny: So what are you drinking?
    Sheldon: Well, it’s been a rough day... I usually go chamomile tea, but I don’t think that’s going to cut it.
    Penny: You could have a Long Island Iced Tea...
    Sheldon: Will that calm my nerves?
    Penny: It’s calmed the pants off me a couple of times.

& Sheldon: The trouble isn’t with me, Penny, it’s with your gender. Someday, scientists will discover that second X chromosome contains nothing but nonsense and twaddle*.
    Penny: ... Look, just apologize. It’ll warm her twaddle.

& Howard: Okay, I have now officially moved out of my mother’s house. You are now the only woman in my life who I’ll see naked in the bathroom.

& Howard: Can’t we talk about this?
    Bernadette: No husband of mine is gonna break his mother’s heart!!!

& Wil Wheaton: Why are you here?
    Sheldon: I’ll tell you. I’m from Texas. Need I say more?
    Wil Wheaton: Yeah, actually, a little more would be helpful.
    Sheldon: You insulted my woman. I’m here to defend her honor.

& Wil Wheaton: Oh, Sheldon, do you really think we’re gonna fight?
    Sheldon: My fists are not up here because I’m milking a giant invisible cow.

& Wil Wheaton: Are you okay?
    Sheldon: You’re asking a lot of questions, Wil Wheaton. As a matter of idle curiosity, which of your shrubberies do you feel would benefit from a thorough vomiting? Never mind, I’ll choose.

--
twaddle — болтовня; пустословие; чушь

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