The Big Bang Theory 6x6

The Extract Obliteration

& Howard: I wish we looked as cool dancing in clubs as we do right now...
    Leonard: Don’t worry, this is exactly how you look when you’re dancing in clubs.

& Sheldon: Paradigm-shifting news, gentlemen!

& Raj: I was about to Bollywood this bitch.

& Bernadette: So, I was taking a shower this morning, and when I got out, I started to dry off with what I thought was a towel but turned out to be Howard’s mom’s underwear... I had to take another shower... It wasn’t enough... Nothing will ever be enough.

& Bernadette: Why wouldn’t you tell Leonard?
    Penny: Because it’s me going back to school, and he’s gonna be all “you can do it,” and “how can I help?” and “I’m so proud of you.” Ugh!
    Amy: You guys have got to be the weirdest couple I know...
    Penny: .......... Really? You can’t think of anyone weirder?
    Amy: I can, but she’s sitting right there.

& Penny: Spaghetti okay?
    Leonard: It’s crunchy.
    Penny: Just the way I like it.
    Leonard: Yeah, I don’t think the water was really boiling.

& Penny: Maybe later, if you’re lucky, you get to sleep with a college girl.
    Leonard: Really? ’Cause I went to four years of college and five years of grad school, that never happened once.

& Raj: I think the next time I have to speak to a call center in India, I’m going to try using an American accent.
    Howard: Why?
    Raj: Because when I use my regular voice, I feel like I’m making fun of them.

& Leonard: Okay. She writes like she cooks.

& Sheldon: Play. Play. Play. Play. Play.
    Leonard: What are you doing?
    Sheldon: Trying to use a Jedi mind trick to control Stephen Hawking. Play. Oh... He must be wearing a tinfoil hat or something.

& Leonard: I did a bad thing.
    Sheldon: Does it affect me?
    Leonard: No.
    Sheldon: Then suffer in silence.

& Sheldon: Why does everyone love me except Stephen Hawking?

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& Leonard: Is it possible we’re having two different conversations?
    Sheldon: How would I know? I’m not listening to you.

& Leonard: I-I should be allowed to help her. Why aren’t I allowed to help her?
    Sheldon: Yeah, I hear you, brother.
    Leonard: No! You need to give me some advice.
    Sheldon: Fine. Women, huh?
    Leonard: No... Specific to my situation!!
    Sheldon: Blonde women, huh?

& Leonard: Good morning, sunshine.
    Penny: Leonard. It’s 8:00 a.m. It’s like the middle of the night.

& Penny: “An examination of the economic, cultural, and political roots of slavery in the Old South: 1619 to 1865.” What the hell is this?!
    Leonard: Don’t ask me. A little elf did it.
    Penny: So let me get this straight. You just assumed my paper would be bad so you wrote one for me?
    Leonard: No, I assumed it would be good. Then I read it.
    Penny: What?!

& Penny: W... You changed every word.
    Leonard: That’s not true. Uh... “Slavery.” “1619,” your name at the top... that’s all you.

& Penny: Since you like stories so much, this is not “The Shoemaker and the Elves,” okay? This is, “Give a man a fish, he eats it. Teach a man to fish, he... sells it or something.” Whatever, I don’t know! It’s just a lot better than what you did, you big jerk!

& Sheldon: Stephen Hawking’s a genius and he talks like a robot. It’s everything I’ve ever wanted in a friend.

& Stephen Hawking: Do you like brain teasers?
    Sheldon: Oh, I love brain teasers.
    Stephen Hawking: What does Sheldon Cooper and a black hole have in common?.. They both suck.

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