& Taylor: I am the police, and I’m here to arrest you. You’ve broken the law. I did not write the law. I may disagree with the law but I will enforce it. No matter how you plead, condole, beg or attempt to stir my sympathy. Nothing you do will stop me from placing you in a steel cage with gray bars. If you run away I will chase you. If you fight me I will fight back. If you shoot at me I will shoot back. By law I am unable to walk away. I am a consequence. I am the unpaid bill. I am fate with a badge and a gun. Behind my badge is a heart like yours. I bleed, I think, I love, and yes I can be killed. And although I am but one man, I have thousands of brothers and sisters who are the same as me. They will lay down their lives for me and I them. We stand watch together. The thin-blue-line, protecting the prey from the predators, the good from the bad. We are the police.
& Taylor: It’s been two hours, we’re still waiting for the detectives to release the scene so we can go back on patrol.
Zavala: Comfortable footwear. Policing is all about comfortable footwear.
& Taylor: Officer Van Houser, have you made a difference today?
Van Houser: You know I see you guys out here, you’re being good little company men, aren’t you?
Zavala: Are you doing the Lord’s work?
Van Houser: And you’re making a difference, as you call it. It’s all fun and games to you, you get to run and jump and fight and shoot. One day the LAPD is going to bend you over your black and white... and they are going to fuck you up the ass. They are going to fuck you so long and so hard... you’re going to want to eat your gun just to make it stop. And if you don’t eat your gun and the fucking somehow magically stops...they’re going to give you freeway therapy. You’re going to end up doing West End Valley daywatch. Spending two hours every day on the fucking freeway just thinking about the fucking that they gave you. Bad guys attack from up front. The department comes in from the rear. Watch your six.
& Taylor: There’s a pattern. An M.O. here. First date is dinner and a respectful kiss. Second date is dinner, full carnal knowledge. And then third date is dinner and uncomfortable silences when I try to discuss anything of merit. Then it’s two or three booty calls and it’s on to the next.
Zavala: Ok, I went to prom and I got married a week later.
& Taylor: So Mr. Big Evil... why do they call you Big Evil?
— Because ... my evil is big.
& Taylor: I gotta go. I’m taking Janet to the Philharmonic.
Zavala: Enjoy your white people shit.
Taylor: Thanks, I’ll bring you back a burrito.
& Taylor: What are you going to say to the taxpayers when you crash the fucking car? Drink more coffee.
Zavala: I’m on my ninth fucking Red Bull.
& Taylor: Did you name him Brian?
Zavala: Sorry.
Gabby: He’s a junior. Named him after his daddy.
Taylor: So what’s his name?
& Zavala: Think about it. After you think about it, think about it again. Jesus. Marriage is forever. Just realize that. It’s a promise before god. ... My grandma was really deep. She’s seen it all. When me and Gabby got engaged, she asked me one thing... She said can you live without her? And if the answer’s yes, man up and forget her. Don’t string her along. Think about it.
& Gabby: You’ll learn this. You’ll learn. Marriage is really basic. There’s just a couple guidelines. One: you’ve got to give it up all the time. All the time.
Zavala: You love that.
Taylor: I don’t hate that idea. It’s not a bad idea. It’s not a bad thing.
Gabby: No, seriously, girls throw it at cops.
Janet: Throw what exactly?
Gabby: Their pussy. Girls throw it. So you can’t give him an excuse, girlfriend. You can not give him an excuse. ... Two... You ready?
Janet: Hell yeah.
Gabby: Try new things.
Zavala: Baby...
Gabby: Like the gooch. ... Texas twister. The western, you know? Open to explore, right? ... Cup him. Suck him. You just rub it a bit and then... Venture off a little more... They swear they don’t like it but...
& Zavala: You’re my brother and everything, but you’re a piece of shit.
& Zavala: If you break her heart, I’m going to fuck you up.
Taylor: Good to know.
& Taylor: Do you know what the butterfly effect is?
Zavala: Nope.
Taylor: It’s the butterfly effect.
Zavala: Just because you say it twice doesn’t mean that I get it the second time.
& Taylor: Janet’s pregnant.
Zavala: What? Get out of here! Are you serious? Already? She’s not even Mexican.
--
+ quotes on the IMDb
Soundtrack
& Taylor: It’s been two hours, we’re still waiting for the detectives to release the scene so we can go back on patrol.
Zavala: Comfortable footwear. Policing is all about comfortable footwear.
& Taylor: Officer Van Houser, have you made a difference today?
Van Houser: You know I see you guys out here, you’re being good little company men, aren’t you?
Zavala: Are you doing the Lord’s work?
Van Houser: And you’re making a difference, as you call it. It’s all fun and games to you, you get to run and jump and fight and shoot. One day the LAPD is going to bend you over your black and white... and they are going to fuck you up the ass. They are going to fuck you so long and so hard... you’re going to want to eat your gun just to make it stop. And if you don’t eat your gun and the fucking somehow magically stops...they’re going to give you freeway therapy. You’re going to end up doing West End Valley daywatch. Spending two hours every day on the fucking freeway just thinking about the fucking that they gave you. Bad guys attack from up front. The department comes in from the rear. Watch your six.
& Taylor: There’s a pattern. An M.O. here. First date is dinner and a respectful kiss. Second date is dinner, full carnal knowledge. And then third date is dinner and uncomfortable silences when I try to discuss anything of merit. Then it’s two or three booty calls and it’s on to the next.
Zavala: Ok, I went to prom and I got married a week later.
& Taylor: So Mr. Big Evil... why do they call you Big Evil?
— Because ... my evil is big.
& Taylor: I gotta go. I’m taking Janet to the Philharmonic.
Zavala: Enjoy your white people shit.
Taylor: Thanks, I’ll bring you back a burrito.
& Taylor: What are you going to say to the taxpayers when you crash the fucking car? Drink more coffee.
Zavala: I’m on my ninth fucking Red Bull.
& Taylor: Did you name him Brian?
Zavala: Sorry.
Gabby: He’s a junior. Named him after his daddy.
Taylor: So what’s his name?
& Zavala: Think about it. After you think about it, think about it again. Jesus. Marriage is forever. Just realize that. It’s a promise before god. ... My grandma was really deep. She’s seen it all. When me and Gabby got engaged, she asked me one thing... She said can you live without her? And if the answer’s yes, man up and forget her. Don’t string her along. Think about it.
& Gabby: You’ll learn this. You’ll learn. Marriage is really basic. There’s just a couple guidelines. One: you’ve got to give it up all the time. All the time.
Zavala: You love that.
Taylor: I don’t hate that idea. It’s not a bad idea. It’s not a bad thing.
Gabby: No, seriously, girls throw it at cops.
Janet: Throw what exactly?
Gabby: Their pussy. Girls throw it. So you can’t give him an excuse, girlfriend. You can not give him an excuse. ... Two... You ready?
Janet: Hell yeah.
Gabby: Try new things.
Zavala: Baby...
Gabby: Like the gooch. ... Texas twister. The western, you know? Open to explore, right? ... Cup him. Suck him. You just rub it a bit and then... Venture off a little more... They swear they don’t like it but...
& Zavala: You’re my brother and everything, but you’re a piece of shit.
& Zavala: If you break her heart, I’m going to fuck you up.
Taylor: Good to know.
& Taylor: Do you know what the butterfly effect is?
Zavala: Nope.
Taylor: It’s the butterfly effect.
Zavala: Just because you say it twice doesn’t mean that I get it the second time.
& Taylor: Janet’s pregnant.
Zavala: What? Get out of here! Are you serious? Already? She’s not even Mexican.
--
+ quotes on the IMDb
Soundtrack
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