My Name Is Earl 4x8

Little Bad Voodoo Brother

& Randy: We tried pouring hot water over regular ice, but you know what happened?
   Darnell: It melted?
   Randy: You tried that, too, huh?

& Earl: Who’s that with Catalina?
   Darnell: That’s her nephew “o-Scar.”
   Randy: O-Scar, like Oscar, but with an “o.”

& Darnell: Her sister sent them to America for a vacation. He arrived yesterday. I swear I didn’t order this. Wait, are you a dishwasher?
   o-Scar: No.
   Darnell: Yeah, we didn’t order this.

& Darnell: The really sad part is the waybill said “Bananas, magazines, and little boy.” I can’t help but think someone at customs wasn’t doing their job.

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& Randy: I wish I had a little brother... Thanks, Earl.
   Earl: Randy, you know it’s on my list. “Cost Randy a little brother.”
   Darnell: How’d you do that?
   Randy: Dad made mom get fixed after he caught Earl playing a game of “watch Randy in the washing machine.” I swallowed a lot of bleach. That’s why I can’t taste salt.
   Earl: I put it on the gentle cycle. You never tell that part of the story.

& Clerk in the “Big bros, little bros.” program: So... tell me a little bit about yourself, Randy.
   Randy: Well, I’m 31 and I live in a motel. I have three pairs of pants and five shirts, And, uh... that pretty much sums me up... Yeah. Oh, and this is my brother Earl.
   Earl: We’re very close. We even sleep in the same bed. B... But not in a weird way, just in a “there’s only one bed” way.
   Randy: Yeah, and we sleep facing out, so if anything touches, it’s our butts and not our wieners.

& Earl: Great decorations, Crab Man. That dead body in the front of the trailer park looks real.
   Darnell: What dead body?
   Earl: The one the kids are jumping on.
   Darnell: I’ll be right back.

& Earl: Who are you supposed to be?
   Joy: Barbie... Can’t you tell? Taped my nipples down so my boobies are smooth.

& Joy: He’s full of voodoo. You get him out of here before it starts raining blood or he forces us to eat jerk chicken.
   Earl: Joy, he’s just a kid.
   Joy: As was the Omen, the Exorcist and all them >children of the corn. The devil likes them young. Probably gets in through that soft spot on their skull.

& Joy: Remember, Reverend, disco’s bad. I’ll be your alibi, you be mine. We were at the library.

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On Imdb.