& Randy: Wakey, wakey. Two days till my birthday cakey.
Earl: Sleepy, sleepy. Please shut upy.
Randy: Did you get me a present yet?
& Randy: Since I’m gonna be a little older in a few days, I’d like you to start calling me by my proper name... Randolph.
Earl: Your name’s Randal.
Randy: It is?! Is that even a real name? I mean, Randolph’s a name I’ve actually heard before. Like Randolph Hitler... Randal sounds so weird.
& Earl: It’s a birthday present for Randy.
Catalina: This is nicer than your car. I know he’s your brother, but I’d like to remind you that for my last birthday, you gave me a mug that said Happy Bat Mitzvah.
Earl: I thought it meant “Happy birthday” in Spanish.
& Earl: You know, I hate to say it, but if they’re gonna treat me like a civilian, I might have to act like one. I might have to go to the police.
Joy: Earl, you can’t snitch! You know the order. Regular people, fat people, cops, Al Qaeda, stuff you squeeze out of a zit, and then snitches.
Earl: Well, then, I don’t know what to do, but I got to get Randy’s car back.
Darnell: When did you move fat people above Al Qaeda and stuff inside a zit?
& Catalina: Earl, there’s a present in the sink from either a very large dog or a very small man.
& Cop: You know I always have good information. Joy Turner shoplifts from the bargain bag every time the security guard does his afternoon dialysis.
Joy: This is ri-donk-ulous. I was wearing ten pair of panties when I walked into that store.
& Earl: Look what I got you.
Randy: I already had her. Not great.
Catalina: Not me, jerk. The car.
--
On Imdb.
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