The Promotion

The Office 6×3

Dwight Schrute: Could you please sign my expense report?
Michael Scott: No way, no how. Expense reports are a day-to-day item. That is Jim's now. I am exclusively big picture. Epic.

Dwight Schrute: Sign this.
Jim Halpert: Uh-uh-uh. Where's the please? We're not animals.

Dwight Schrute: I have a complaint about Jim.
Michael Scott: That is not big picture.
Dwight Schrute: I would like to file a huge, enormous, massive complaint about the tallest guy in our office.
Michael Scott: Okay.

Jim Halpert: Can I talk to you in my office for a second?
Michael Scott: Sure. But could I first talk to you in my office?
Stanley Hudson: Can I also be a boss?

Oscar Martinez: Look, it doesn't take a genius to know that any organization thrives when it has two leaders. Go ahead, name a country that doesn't have two presidents. A boat that set sail without two captains. Where would Catholicism be without the popes?

Michael Scott: Jim, to be fair, the conversation wasn't about planets.
Jim Halpert: Right.
Michael Scott: At first, we were talking about introducing a line of toilet paper. And what part of the human body does one use toilet paper upon? So you draw a line from there to the other planets, and I think by the end, we all learned a little bit about how small we are.
Jim Halpert: Yes, I agree. I just feel...
Michael Scott: Because it's a big universe. And we're all just little tiny specks of dust.

Michael Scott: It is one thing me giving you the co-manager title, it is another thing you bossing me around.

Michael Scott: Jim, don't take this the wrong way. Are you going to take this the wrong way?... You use your brain too much.
Jim Halpert: I'm sorry, are you advocating that I use it less?
Michael Scott: Sometimes the smartest people don't think at all.
Jim Halpert: You just came up with that.
Michael Scott: As I was saying it.

Jim Halpert: I've been studying Michael for years and I've condensed what I've learned into this chart... How Michael spends his time. As you can see, we have procrastinating and distracting others. And this tiny sliver here is critical thinking... I made it bigger so that you could see it.

Kevin Malone: Hey, Pam. I heard that you were registered, but I didn't hear where.
Pam Beesly: I don't think we registered anywhere. We just want cash.
Kevin Malone: Like money? Like, you want my money?
Pam Beesly: Mmm-hmm.
Kevin Malone: Will you take a check?
Pam Beesly: Yeah.
Kevin Malone: Cool. In the memo line, I'm going to write, "To love's eternal glory."
Pam Beesly: Okay.
Kevin Malone: Wait till Monday.

Michael Scott: Well, we all know it's hard to be a boss, right? You know what? Look around you, these are your best friends. These are the people who will open their hearts to you. They all have heart-ons for you. And that is a gift. So in terms of gifts, we should be giving each other gifts. Angela, yes, lend Oscar a cup of sugar.

Ryan Howard: Question for you, would you guys rather have $100 now or $5,000 a year from now?
Pam Beesly: $100 now, for sure.
Ryan Howard: Because you just give me $50 to cover the broker fee, I put in $100 of my own money, as the gift.
Pam Beesly: Yeah. No, no. The $100. I'll just take the $100.
Ryan Howard: Instead of $5,000 a year from now?
Pam Beesly: ... How sure is this?

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