The Meeting

The Office 6×2

Oscar Martinez: Is everything okay?
Michael Scott: Yeah. It's routine. I'm just a little bit scared.
Oscar Martinez: I'm sure everything will be fine. What's the procedure, if you don't mind my asking?
Michael Scott: It is a colonoscopy.
Oscar Martinez: O-kay...
Michael Scott: In your experience, what should I be expecting in terms of sensation or emotions? Is there anything I can do to make it more pleasurable for me, or for Dr. Chaudry?

Michael Scott: Am I worried that Jim and David are having a meeting without me? No. Because we are the three amigos. And once in a while, one of the amigos will go off to the bathroom, while the other two have a secret meeting.

Michael Scott: If you're lying to me right now, Pam, your baby is gonna come out a liar. That's how it works. They inherit things through the breast milk.
Pam Beesly: Please don't talk about my breast milk.
Michael Scott: I just don't want you to lie to me. I don't want you to ever lie to me. Have I ever lied to you?
Pam Beesly: Yeah.
Michael Scott: I just don't want you to.

David Wallace: Are you sure you're okay with these new responsibilities?
Michael Scott: Look who you're talking to.
David Wallace: Just trying to figure out the best way to utilize everyone's talents.
Michael Scott: Well, I would say that my greatest talent is being the best man, woman or child to have ever run this branch. Ever.

Michael Scott: Permission to speak on the record.
David Wallace: Please do.
Michael Scott: Jim is like Big Bird. He is tall and yellow and very nice. But would I put him in charge? No. I don't think so. He... Big Bird doesn't make the tough decisions. If I was going to put someone in charge, I would put Bert in charge. Or I would put one of the real grownups in charge, like Maria. Or Gordon, maybe.

Jim Halpert: I tried to keep Michael in the dark. I should have known that he can do just as much damage in the dark.

Darryl Philbin: Why would you think a lady is me?
Dwight Schrute: Are you serious? Because you look exactly alike! Am I the only one?
Toby Flenderson: That's too far...

Michael Scott: I never recommended you because I didn't want to lose you. And I didn't want to lose Pam. Now I don't want to lose the baby.
Jim Halpert: So, instead, you screwed me?
Michael Scott: That's what she said.

Michael Scott: So, manager and co-manager.
David Wallace: Co-manager and co-manager. See, there are a lot of moving pieces and this is the only way I can sell it upstairs.
Michael Scott: Well, that might be a little confusing for people because they know me as manager.

Phyllis Lapin: What's happening to you, Michael?
Michael Scott: What's happening to me? I am also being promoted to co-manager. We will be co-managers together.

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+ Quotes on the IMDb