& Jordan: See, money doesn’t just buy you a better life, better food, better cars, better pussy. It also makes you a better person. You can give generously to the church or political party of your choice. You can save the fucking spotted owl with money.
& Jordan: Mr. Hanna? You’re able to do drugs during the day and then still function, still do your job?
Hanna: How the fuck else would you do this job? Cocaine and hookers, my friend.
& Hanna: Number one rule of Wall Street. Nobody... I don’t care if you’re Warren Buffett or if you’re Jimmy Buffett. Nobody knows if a stock is gonna go up, down, sideways, or in fucking circles. Least of all stockbrokers, right? It’s all a fugazi. You know what a fugazi is?
Jordan: Fugayzi. It’s a fake.
Hanna: Fugayzi, fugazi, it’s a whazy, it’s a woozy, it’s... Fairy dust. It doesn’t exist. It’s never landed. It is no matter. It’s not on the elemental chart. It’s not fucking real. Right?
Jordan: Right.
Hanna: Stay with me. We don’t create shit. We don’t build anything.
Jordan: No.
Hanna: So if you got a client who bought stock at eight and it now sits at 16, he’s all fucking happy. He wants to cash in, liquidate, take his fucking money and run home. You don’t let him do that.
Jordan: Okay.
Hanna: ’Cause that would make it real.
Jordan: Right.
Hanna: No. What do you do? You get another brilliant idea. A special idea. Another “situation.” Another stock to reinvest his earnings and then some. And he will, every single time. ’Cause they’re fucking addicted. And you just keep doing this, again and again and again. Meanwhile, he thinks he’s getting shit rich, which he is, on paper. But you and me, the brokers, we’re taking home cold hard cash via commission, motherfucker.
& Jordan: Wow. Let’s go run, huh? We gotta get out of here, buddy. We gotta get out of here. Let’s go fucking run. Let’s run like we’re fucking lions and tigers and bears! Let’s run! Let’s fucking run!
& Jordan: Gentlemen, welcome to Stratton Oakmont. You schnooks will now be targeting the wealthiest 1% of Americans. We’re talking about whales here. Moby fucking Dicks. And with this script, which is now your new harpoon, I’m gonna teach each and every one of you to be Captain fucking Ahab.
& Jordan: But, you know, every time someone rises up in this world, there’s always gonna be some asshole trying to drag him down.
& Jordan: This is our golden ticket to the fucking chocolate factory right here! And I wanna meet Willy fucking Wonka, okay? I wanna be with the fucking Oompa Loompas like this!
& Jordan: I’m gonna let you in on a little secret about these telephones. They’re not gonna dial themselves. Okay? Without you, they’re just worthless hunks of plastic. Like a loaded M16 without a trained Marine to pull the trigger. And in the case of the telephone, it’s up to each and every one of you, my highly-trained Strattonites. My killers! My killers, who will not take no for an answer! My fucking warriors, who will not hang up the phone until their client either buys or fucking dies!
& Jordan: Let me tell you something. There is no nobility in poverty. I have been a rich man and I have been a poor man. And I choose rich every fucking time. Because at least as a rich man, when I have to face my problems, I show up in the back of a limo, wearing a $2,000 suit and a $40,000 gold fucking watch!
& Jordan: And if anyone here thinks I’m superficial or materialistic, go get a job at fucking McDonald’s, ’cause that’s where you fucking belong!
& Naomi: Switzerland? What the fuck is in Switzerland?
Jordan: Swiss fucking banks, that’s what.
& Chantalle: Well, we don’t fucking work for you, man!
Donnie: Sweetheart, you have my money taped to your tits. Okay? Technically, you do work for me.
& Jordan: Fucking heart attack! Boom, snap, gone. Shuffled off her mortal coil.
& Jordan: I will not die sober! Get those fucking ludes!
& Jordan: The nice thing about getting rescued by Italians is that they feed you, make you drink red wine, then you get to dance.
& Jordan: Sell me this pen...
--
+ quotes on the IMDb
Σ It's big. It's huge. It's really really huge.
& Jordan: Mr. Hanna? You’re able to do drugs during the day and then still function, still do your job?
Hanna: How the fuck else would you do this job? Cocaine and hookers, my friend.
& Hanna: Number one rule of Wall Street. Nobody... I don’t care if you’re Warren Buffett or if you’re Jimmy Buffett. Nobody knows if a stock is gonna go up, down, sideways, or in fucking circles. Least of all stockbrokers, right? It’s all a fugazi. You know what a fugazi is?
Jordan: Fugayzi. It’s a fake.
Hanna: Fugayzi, fugazi, it’s a whazy, it’s a woozy, it’s... Fairy dust. It doesn’t exist. It’s never landed. It is no matter. It’s not on the elemental chart. It’s not fucking real. Right?
Jordan: Right.
Hanna: Stay with me. We don’t create shit. We don’t build anything.
Jordan: No.
Hanna: So if you got a client who bought stock at eight and it now sits at 16, he’s all fucking happy. He wants to cash in, liquidate, take his fucking money and run home. You don’t let him do that.
Jordan: Okay.
Hanna: ’Cause that would make it real.
Jordan: Right.
Hanna: No. What do you do? You get another brilliant idea. A special idea. Another “situation.” Another stock to reinvest his earnings and then some. And he will, every single time. ’Cause they’re fucking addicted. And you just keep doing this, again and again and again. Meanwhile, he thinks he’s getting shit rich, which he is, on paper. But you and me, the brokers, we’re taking home cold hard cash via commission, motherfucker.
& Jordan: Wow. Let’s go run, huh? We gotta get out of here, buddy. We gotta get out of here. Let’s go fucking run. Let’s run like we’re fucking lions and tigers and bears! Let’s run! Let’s fucking run!
& Jordan: Gentlemen, welcome to Stratton Oakmont. You schnooks will now be targeting the wealthiest 1% of Americans. We’re talking about whales here. Moby fucking Dicks. And with this script, which is now your new harpoon, I’m gonna teach each and every one of you to be Captain fucking Ahab.
& Jordan: But, you know, every time someone rises up in this world, there’s always gonna be some asshole trying to drag him down.
& Jordan: This is our golden ticket to the fucking chocolate factory right here! And I wanna meet Willy fucking Wonka, okay? I wanna be with the fucking Oompa Loompas like this!
& Jordan: I’m gonna let you in on a little secret about these telephones. They’re not gonna dial themselves. Okay? Without you, they’re just worthless hunks of plastic. Like a loaded M16 without a trained Marine to pull the trigger. And in the case of the telephone, it’s up to each and every one of you, my highly-trained Strattonites. My killers! My killers, who will not take no for an answer! My fucking warriors, who will not hang up the phone until their client either buys or fucking dies!
& Jordan: Let me tell you something. There is no nobility in poverty. I have been a rich man and I have been a poor man. And I choose rich every fucking time. Because at least as a rich man, when I have to face my problems, I show up in the back of a limo, wearing a $2,000 suit and a $40,000 gold fucking watch!
& Jordan: And if anyone here thinks I’m superficial or materialistic, go get a job at fucking McDonald’s, ’cause that’s where you fucking belong!
& Naomi: Switzerland? What the fuck is in Switzerland?
Jordan: Swiss fucking banks, that’s what.
& Chantalle: Well, we don’t fucking work for you, man!
Donnie: Sweetheart, you have my money taped to your tits. Okay? Technically, you do work for me.
& Jordan: Fucking heart attack! Boom, snap, gone. Shuffled off her mortal coil.
& Jordan: I will not die sober! Get those fucking ludes!
& Jordan: The nice thing about getting rescued by Italians is that they feed you, make you drink red wine, then you get to dance.
& Jordan: Sell me this pen...
--
+ quotes on the IMDb
Σ It's big. It's huge. It's really really huge.
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